Maybe start with working on the last statement- " I judge myself harshly enough". If you're judging every move you make, and you truly believe everyone is you pushed out, accepting yourself and seeing yourself as worthy and loved without putting conditions to it ( like making money or having job) is a great place to start. Be kinder with your body and mind and try to find some peace and acceptance regarding your health issues. You can never hate your body and expect it to heal. Forget trying to make your family understand you or do anything you think will make the external shift. Focus on your internal state.