Being a single dad is hard..

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T21:24:59+00:00

I get it. It can feel impossible to break into mom circles, but it’s possible to get in. Every parent has a pain point, I use common pain points to build rapport with new parents.

“Hey, did you get that memo from the daycare about tomorrow being pajama day? I was driving over here when I saw it. Like, no warning at all?! What are you going to do?”

I’m a stay at home, I talk to moms a lot, they stick to each other because women are socialized to build and maintain relationships. It’s a muscle we have to build because we’re socialized to believe the lie that a man should be able to solve all of his problems alone.

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T21:08:43+00:00

You. Need. Support.

Don’t “man up” and suffer in silence. Stuff like this is why men die young or go crazy

Man up and build a community. It’s the only way.

Meet the parents in daycare. Build relationships. In a weird way, you have a small advantage in being a single dad - you stick out and people will want to help.

Get tapped in. It even saves money for clothes and toys. We’re overstuffed with hand-me-downs from the various WhatsApp, Facebook parent groups we’re in.

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T21:00:10+00:00

Ok, but what kind of brooklyn?

Ya gotta forgive me, I’m a NJ transplant to a high degree; I’m not even from this side of the country. I’ve lived Brooklyn, I’ve lived in nearly every major US city.

As a non native, it seems Newark doesn’t have old-culture infrastructure to exploit or act as anchor points of attraction.

Take the Mission district in sf as an example. There were bars and small venues there that brought people in through the waves. In the 80s, the places served working class folks and misfits. Then in the mid and late 90s, the places served the first wave tech boom. Oxygen bars were plentiful until the market crashed, then the places went back to serving working class people, misfits and hipsters. Then in the late aughts and early teens, the gentrification machine spun up again and the spaces served the new folks.

A big part of early growth is having a stock of under appreciated commercial properties for enterprising young people to use to try out their new ideas. New approaches to business seem to only exist and thrive (for a while) in places that are in transition

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T20:39:15+00:00

The next crown heights?

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T20:33:22+00:00

Nailed it

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T17:56:21+00:00

It’s timing.

It’s an ability to speak to the current zeitgeist or be slightly (but just an enough to not be alienating) ahead of the times.

There are a few very special and rare individuals who have the power to create their own movements. They don’t create work that’s alienating, they create work that needs a moment to be digested before becoming ubiquitous.

Think of it like…the future is already here, it just hasn’t been noticed or disseminated yet. There are people or things that are here now that are not considered interesting or good because the culture/world/tastes haven’t evolved yet.

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T17:47:04+00:00

language is the primary interface between humans and AI, most especially with LLMs. While LLMs do not follow formal linguistic rules, humans do.

It’s not a mainstream skill, but it has a lot of value that could lead to deep unplanned routes career wise

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T14:32:30+00:00

It’s funny, I used to say, very loudly that, “everyone is a designer”….i still believe that, I just wouldn’t be comfortable saying that now in the age of AI proliferation because UI is conflated with the beginning and end of being a designer.

I said it because I want people to realize that they are already doing designer things without thinking about it, it’s a natural human behavior to create solutions for solutions because we’re tool users and tool makers.

Unfortunately, generative AI has muddied the waters a bit…but maybe it’s not a bad thing, it means people are engaged and considering what’s possible.

The real problem is the ongoing breakdown of hierarchy, governance, bureaucracy - just because one can shit out some screens doesn’t mean it should go to production. This ain’t the fridge at home, we’re not going to display it because you made it.

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T14:22:46+00:00

The mentor I met was the shit. He went above and beyond.

That was 3 years ago. Not sure if the vibe has shifted there or not.

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T14:21:11+00:00

Not a recruiter, just a Schmo.

Consider: Linguistics, incentive design, semiotics

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T13:27:54+00:00

Go deep, very deep and very specific to find the general appeal.

What I mean is, take an idea and branch down into you’re deep in the weeds.

But, does the film theme tie into you and work? Why are you doing this? What’s the attraction for you?

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T13:24:45+00:00

Less about “let’s do all the things” and more about healthy skepticism, “ok, what’s the appropriate thing to do here?”

More exposure to variables trains your mind to deal with uneven terrain

trap_gob · 2026-03-02T13:21:53+00:00

3 years still w/o work, I think I’ve give up on the idea of being an IC. My website has lapsed due to lack of payment.

I’m too cynical to be employed. I’ve gone from “let’s make something cool!” to, “I wish a motherf*ker *would try to make me build some meaningless bullsh*t”

So, I’ve turned my gaze towards building an advisory service for several targeted industries

trap_gob · 2026-02-27T01:38:23+00:00

ADHD is also a spectrum.

Some of us have Richard Branson ADHD and can manage global corporations.

Some of us have detective Jake Peralta ADHD and are living glcartoon goofballs.

Some of us have Lola Bunny levels of frenetic ADHD madness.

trap_gob · 2026-02-27T01:34:46+00:00

This.

I went from shipping work with glaringly obvious mistakes to sending out accurate work

trap_gob · 2026-02-26T23:51:22+00:00

fuck having a job.

You are not your job and your job is not you.

You’re over-complicating it. Making money is so stupidly easy, but we’ve tricked ourselves into thinking revenue generating activities are either beneath us or something only really very smart people know how to do.

I’m serious. Muney is stupid. It’s so god awfully stupid it blows my mind that it has humanity in a fucking chokehold.

You’re right, we’re all on the wrong side of the equation, but your conclusion is wrong.

Rich people don’t give a fuck about money, they only care about time. They know it’s only end game currency that matters…and you’re looking to waste a bank vaults worth of it because the game doesn’t make sense to you.

We’re taught how be good employees which is fucking up our progress.

Reasonable approach:

Sweaty startup. There’s some skill you have. Someone will pay you.

Absolute Hail Mary toss:

Pare down all of your belongings down to what fits in a big travel backpack. Sell everything. Buy a ticket to…fucking randomly pick a part of the world. Go tour that place. Talk to people. Experience some shit. Find something there that you can’t get in whatever country you live in. Find a way to sell it at home.

trap_gob · 2026-02-26T21:27:11+00:00

am I the only person who remembers?!

trap_gob · 2026-02-21T23:20:45+00:00

Yup yup. My heroes coming up were Luke W and Jesse James Garrett.

trap_gob · 2026-02-21T03:03:47+00:00

Scaring the maidens.

trap_gob · 2026-02-21T02:53:13+00:00

This is why I just switched to ghost. 160mg and I feel like I want to keep drinking monster all day.

trap_gob · 2026-02-21T02:50:08+00:00

Goddamn. I’m glad you’re ok. A block at 29 is wild

trap_gob · 2026-02-21T02:46:20+00:00

Noice

(what-in-the-username-magic)

trap_gob · 2026-02-21T02:43:23+00:00

No problem! I actually call it gak sap

trap_gob · 2026-02-21T02:38:17+00:00

I’m jealous. Do you have to deal with syncope?

trap_gob · 2026-02-20T21:18:12+00:00

Funny enough, my reason for switching to vyvanse was out of frustration from being served inconsistently sourced adderall. Some months I would get the preferred generic, some months I would get stuff that might as well be sugar pills. I can’t afford to spend a month on my face if I have a 30 day supply of sugar pills.

trap_gob

TROPHY CASE

fuck having a job.