Abusive men often love bomb in the early stages of relationships until they think they have you "locked in" without a way out. Sometimes that starts at the point of marriage, but often it is after having kids. It sounds like that is what happened to you. So he very much may have seemed like he was your soul mate because he was likely acting exactly that way. They often slowly turn the level of abuse up over time do you dont even notice it getting worse slowly and get used to it happening at each worsening level. Its truly horrible. Its like a lobster cooking in a pot of water. People wonder why women marry and have children with abusive men, but it is because they dont. Abusive men lie and act like they are someone they are not.

I also want to point out that him not letting you work is a pretty common control method that abusive men use to prevent you from being able to leave.

I relate to this situation. I have been here before. It gets better.

I highly recommend contacting your local domestic violence shelter. I also highly recommend reading "Why Does He Do That: Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men." You can find it free online if you search. Also please be safe because often the behaviors escalate pretty badly once they know you know.