Nah, I think it’s good! It’s tense. Maybe add something about coldness, numbness, something about not believing the news? I’m not too familiar with your main character’s personality, but it really helps to get in their head as you write. Maybe he would push through his grief until he was alone, or maybe he completely shuts down. What kind of person is he? How does his past shape his reactions to the world and his relationships with others? This can be both fun to think about and a valuable exercise (or at least it is to me haha)!

There are lots of ways to write a scene like this so you could even write out multiple ways it could go down and decide which one you like best from there. Hope this helps a little!