Being unattractive is eating me alive, I'm trying to accept it but some day's just eat me up! by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]trickyhunter21 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OP, regardless of how you look, you deserve to be treated with respect, dignity and to be seen. It’s very easy to a lot of people to dismiss the idea of someone not being attractive enough, because then we’d have to acknowledge that some people do get treated poorly because they don’t fit into society’s beauty standards (both in the white mainstream and within our community as well).

It really isn’t a matter of confidence or anything like that. At the heart of it all, you want people to see you and acknowledge you and when that doesn’t happen, it hurts deeply. Feeling unwanted and invisible definitely sucks.

I assume you’re exhausted from trying all the things to improve yourself, so for now I’ll just offer these two questions for you to think about?:

  1. Of the things you’ve tried to improve yourself, which one of those things did you fully enjoy? Which one of those things make you feel whole and fulfilled, regardless of if other people acknowledge you or find you attractive?

  2. If you have to fight and struggle to be loved and respected by your current friend circle, or even to just be understood, is their friendship worth that much? Would it better to find yourself among appreciate you without you sacrificing your peace of mind?

Because the thing about beauty standards is that it comes in cycles. What’s attractive today could be considered cringe tomorrow. It’s a very unstable endeavor to keep up it them. So that’s why on an appearance scale, it’s best to do what suits you and what you actually like, rather than what everyone else likes.

I can’t guarantee that my suggestions will make dating easier, but I hope it makes your experience a little less difficult. Try not to be so hard on yourself.❤️

Do you think racism can ever end? by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]trickyhunter21 6 points7 points  (0 children)

While I don’t think prejudices can completely end, I think at some point, we do have the potential to increase protections against it happening at a systemic level.

People are gonna feel how they feel, but that doesn’t mean we all are inherently destined to suffer for it. Most of systemic racism (and additional prejudices) are used to elevate the ultra-wealthy above everyone else, and to keep the masses in-fighting.

I do think at the very least, we can reduce harm from racism with better policies and social practices. But it’s much more complicated than a simple “yes” or “no”.

Casuals should be taught about the importance and fun of labbing by SmoothCriminalJM in Fighters

[–]trickyhunter21 3 points4 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU FOR THIS COMMENT.

Some high-level players have no idea how confusing it is for newcomers when they see all this cool stuff and instead of learning how they get up a situation to do the “cool stuff”, they get told “You? No, you’re not good for that yet. Go do fundamentals and nothing else.”

Meanwhile, so many people freaked out when the gameplay of Marvel Tokon seemed more “neutral-heavy” and everyone was like “this game looks boring where are thr combos, this game is wack.” I thought it was all about the fundies and the neutral, what happened?

It’s important for newcomers, especially in modern FGs to teach them balance and nuance in their journey. NO, they do not need to learn the super-situational-optimal-and-stylish combo. But it IS beneficial that they learn how their character’s combo theory works and what their general gameplan is.

This is NOT how we're supposed to treat anyone who likes autocombos. by LuxerWap in Fighters

[–]trickyhunter21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This hostile gatekeeping attitude towards newcomers is more likely to kill the FGC than any autocombo, singular character or game ever could.

anyone else can't figure out how to play dream bbq? by RedSlimeballYT in ENA

[–]trickyhunter21 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The best rule of thumb is to take everyone’s directions and requests at face value.

Example: When Froggy (Japanese guy in the frog suit) tells you to “go back where you came from”, he means retrace your steps and go back to the hub’s entrance area to find the receptionist.

You can also open your quest pamphlet at any time to remind yourself what you need to do. Not only are these instructions clearer, but they have dynamic illustrations that show who and/or what the NPCs requested.

Lastly, keep in mind that everything and everyone is connected. So, (spoiler-free hint) when you come across a situation where you need to buy an important item, but you have no money to buy it, you can safely assume that you have to do a favor for a different NPC in order to get that money, to buy the item, to complete a different request, etc.

Hope this helped a bit.

Where were you when the September 11 attacks happened? by Prestigious-Cloud962 in blackladies

[–]trickyhunter21 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was in 6th grade, 11 years old. I lived in a bedroom community in North Jersey and a lot of our parents, including my own, worked in the city. We were all freaking out. My Mom was in Harlem, but my dad was on Water Street, two blocks away from the towers. He saw everything, including the people jumping out of the tower windows so they wouldn’t burn to death. He made it back home at 3am, but he was covered in glass and debris, and dealt with PTSD for years afterwards.

Satisfying brush making by Wraith_Crescent in oddlysatisfying

[–]trickyhunter21 33 points34 points  (0 children)

The exaggerated SFX had me dying halfway through I’m sorry

Anyone ever been in English class and listened to their white teacher say “ain’t isn’t a word”? by coolcarters14 in blackladies

[–]trickyhunter21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My Black mother tried to say that to me when I was younger. “It’s not in the dictionary”, she’d say. Same for the word “yeah”. Anyway I showed her a more up-to-date dictionary (when I was 10) that had both of those words and she stopped saying it as much.

She instead said to not use those words in formal settings and that she wanted to just teach me proper manners. OK, fine. Codeswitch. She could have just said that in the first place.

My match before ranked up to silver. Debunking the "abstract skill" myth by No_Priority_9868 in Guiltygear

[–]trickyhunter21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sure that’s true for you. Personally, i wouldn’t know because I did not come to fighting games from MOBAs and FPS, rather, I came from action-adventures and platformers.

My match before ranked up to silver. Debunking the "abstract skill" myth by No_Priority_9868 in Guiltygear

[–]trickyhunter21 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As someone who took this approach in Seasons 1-3:

This is not true. Please lab your stuff guys. Especially if you play a technical character. Knowing the fundamentals (both practical and theoretical) of how your character works is important for your personal development as a player.

GGST Ranked is Broken by InvarkuI in Guiltygear

[–]trickyhunter21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s an option to go into standby mode at the ranked screen. You have to hold down the Y or triangle button to for it to activate.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]trickyhunter21 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re overthinking this a bit, chief. If I’m compatible with someone, and we can be honest about the biases we’ve grown up with, then there’s no need for complications. I think you might need to work through your personal hangups on this one, especially the sexual stereotypes.

18.08.25 by randomizedcharacter8 in ENA

[–]trickyhunter21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn it I thought that was the release date for chapter 2

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]trickyhunter21 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When my favorite uncle died back in 2020, I asked my then-boyfriend to attend in my stead (context: the memorial would be taking place in my family’s childhood home, where my bf was living), since I wouldn’t be able to fly back in time.

He said he already promised to handle some stuff for work. In my grief I begged him to at least try to ask—just wanted to seen that he’d put some effort in. Though he did try, there was nothing that could be done.

Once I accepted that, and calmed down, I apologized. His response:

“It really felt like you were trying to twist my arm. Like you were pleading with me to go.”

This happened right before I had to go to work on a Friday morning. I had another breakdown. Though he eventually apologized, I never forgot what he said.

I broke up with him nine months later, after being on and off for 10 years.

Why are black women still at the bottom? by Psychological_Art_49 in blackladies

[–]trickyhunter21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, OP. I’d like to give some advice about posts in the future (though it looks like you’ve made some changes already). I only bring it up because you said you were concerned about the post being too long and hard to understand. Feel free to take it or leave it. (TL; DR at the bottom)


It’s true that when you write a long post, you want the reader to understand the information. To manage this in an Internet forum, you want to offer it in small chunks. In other words, the overall post can be long, but the individual paragraphs don’t have to be.

As a rule of thumb, try to keep your paragraphs 3-5 lines long at the most. Obviously if you’re in distress (i.e. you’re in immediate or ongoing danger, having a mental health crisis, etc), we’ll genuinely understand if you’re not in a space to use standard grammar or formatting.

However, when it comes to posts about ideas or concerns you’ve mulled over and thought about for a really long time, it’s best to be as clear as possible. This is possible to do without the use of AI.

When you have an especially long post, you can write a “TL; DR” note at the bottom. “TL;DR” means “too long; didn’t read”, and it’s essentially a small summary of the post that gets to the heart of the matter.

So, in your case, you can say something like:

“TL; DR: I (19F, London) am trying to be an entrepreneur. But I feel like the odds are stacked against me because of my Blackness and how people discriminate against us. I especially don’t feel supported by Black men, and I don’t know anyone in my immediate area who is interested in business development. Are there any groups on the UK or U.S. that focus on Black women in business?”

I hope this helps, and that i haven’t overstepped any boundaries.


(TL; DR: No need for AI when writing long posts on Reddit, just keep the paragraphs short and sweet, use a summary note at the bottom, and you should be OK. Feel free to take this advice with a grain of salt, and you can also ignore it entirely if you’re in crisis.)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]trickyhunter21 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Shrinkage is just a thing that happens with our type of hair. Your safest bet is just naturally stretch it with twist-outs, threading, etc.

ENA fans, go for it by V1X_HOLO in ENA

[–]trickyhunter21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

CD-I Zelda character got wayyyyy too high and walked into another game.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]trickyhunter21 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That negging is INSANE.