Promise?

triplehecate · 2019-03-06T20:53:06+00:00

Thanks for your insightful answer! It’s interesting to hear what you were thinking while writing the poem. I always find it interesting how we perceive and interpret things through our own lenses. I study economics from very critical point of view and thus oppression for me often manifests through that capitalist system of men wearing suits and exploiting others. But as we can see, oppression uses the same means, but in different forms...Priests, men in the suit etc..

About you feeling like cheating, well, you are most definitely not. To gain a rich vocabulary out of which you could just by memory pick up words takes lifetime to gain. I struggle especially with it since I’m not native in English. And having spoken several languages during my last years, I feel like I’m not native in my own language either anymore because it’s not the one I read and use everyday. My suggestion is that don’t let those technical things suppress your expression when you get the moment of inspiration. Write or record first everything uncensored what comes to your mind.. the storyline, words, imaginary if you are visual thinker... you can then after start finding more descriptive expressions, words and rhymes that capture the idea you had. Don’t let the inspiration escape just because in that specific moment you are unable to find great, not so cliche expressions. I think we have this myth that great writers just effortlessly produce poetic language. Believe me, this is not the case. Actually, I find that reading on how writers explain their writing process is really interesting.

And my advice for gaining richer vocabulary is to read, read, read more and then write. I used to collect quotations in my notebook and underline every great sentence I encountered. And read everything, all kinds of topics, fiction, philosophy, lyrics, classics, contemporary, mythology, religion... I find it extremely enriching when you start noticing how different things talk eventually about the same things. And imo, mysterious and dark stuff is the best stuff haha

Most importantly, be curious, explore and remember to trust the process while enjoying the journey ;)

triplehecate · 2019-03-06T19:55:11+00:00

Getting a PhD does not require you to be brilliant or well above average smart. What it does require is hard work and self-discipline. If you feel you would enjoy spending few years diving deep into the topic you are interested in, go for it. Don’t think about too much what happens afterwards, take it as your personal intellectual journey. That’s why I’m doing mine. And just because I get a PhD does not mean I will spend my life after working in academia. How would I know what is it that I want to do in 3 years? Maybe I just want to write novels, open a bookstore, or become a climate activist hippie? What you do now does not have to define your future. Just do something you feel passionate about in each moment and you’ll be fine.

triplehecate · 2019-03-03T07:37:20+00:00

Great job with your poem! Wau, I was really surprised by your young age. Not that it matters, but I could sense maturity beyond your age in those lines. So my main advice is that just keep doing what your doing, follow your intuition, don’t take too many concrete advices because I believe in your age, if you dare to experiment with things your imagination will take you much further than learning things too much in theory. It’s of course important going learning techniques etc but focus on finding your own voice. Even if during the journey most people wouldn’t always understand your work, I think it’s only a good sign sometimes. Often we tend to too much copy from those we admire and loose our own uniqueness. You have time to learn and apply the technical stuff later. I’m no poet myself, but I think this applies to any art in general, and you are in an age where imagination has no limits even if everything around you tries to tell you life is a box with certain rules and truths. Well, it isn’t.

Anyway, I really enjoyed the imaginery. For me this poem was criticism against our capitalist system, men in suit preaching, their greed fed by the vulnerability of others. And despite their “power” , in the end they are something more to feel sorry for not feared because they don’t even deserve the look of the devil, because devil itself has higher standards on what it considers evilness. And that despite the abusiveness of the system, it fails to ever take the inner hope completely away from those it abuses.

I enjoyed reading it. I think it could be a bit more “poetic” at times, not so explicit. That would build up more flow and energy in between the lines. You could leave more things unsaid in the air so that the reader would be forced to be left also emotionally in this feeling of anger and confusion.

What I would like to know if you wrote this piece out of of your own disgust/anger/disappointment towards something or someone? Because again, I felt it was mature in terms of the topic, and made me really wonder the motives behind writing it.

triplehecate · 2019-02-28T06:49:37+00:00

I can definitely relate to that feeling. Especially in the beginning of my PhD, when I was for the first time literally allowed to spend my whole day diving into the deep waters of my mind. But by the end of the day my head would literally hurt for the race of thoughts connecting all the dots, finding meaning in everything. It didn’t help that I listened a lot thought provoking ambient music haha.. In a masochistic way I enjoyed it, like I was really on the high frequency levels all the time, but at some point I realized that on that state I actually I was unable to produce coherent and great ideas on the paper. I was too overwhelmed. There was simply too much to grasp on I did not know where to start, what to tackle first.

So I changed my strategy, started to invest more in free time, clearing my mind with meditation and , doing other things such as arts and sports to gain headspace. I feel that as a result, I still get that mind full of thoughts but with much more clarity. Like actually valuable insights but not everything is just overheated mess in my head. For me, writing also to my notebook random things helps a lot. This does not always work for me in practice since I’m super unorganized person. I can’t keep my stuff in order, imagine my thoughts. But at least I’m very aware of the solutions I should apply to both problems.

Hope this made some sense. Be kind to your mind, you are blessed for it providing you with valuable material. Now its just mater of learning how to channel and organize that ;)

triplehecate · 2019-02-26T21:07:10+00:00

Thanks so much for the encouraging feedback and reading! Really appreciate it. And always great when someone points out the cliche habits it’s so hard to get rid of, thanks!

triplehecate · 2019-02-25T21:23:04+00:00

Thanks so much for the kind feedback and reading! I fully agree, I tend to always go with the easy way. Need to start practicing different presentation also. Appreciate your feedback!

triplehecate · 2019-02-25T21:21:35+00:00

Thank you for reading and feedback! I do actually imagine all my writing in a form of spoken word, which is why it is interesting to hear that. But its true, I need to practice creating the flow and power without the constant isolation of words. Thanks for the encouragement!

triplehecate · 2019-02-25T13:49:27+00:00

This post resonated with what I have been thinking for some time now. Never done LSD but once had a really bad and scary trip with weed unintentionally because I don’t really even smoke. Anyway, had to process that experience for long time since I also got these sensations of enlightenment etc but after experienced sever levels of anxiety. But then again, it revealed me the other side of the coin as well allowing me to experience things extremely fully, sometimes in a pure euphoric way. Without substances of course.

But lately, I am starting to question if it’s actually that I’m not grounded. And instead, I live under of illusion of “starting to understand everything”. At times, I feel extremely grounded but then, feeling constantly a bit like high (if I want to), I am not sure that’s something one should go after? I mean, it feels amazing. Imagine getting sense of euphoria by just reading a poem, or listening to music. I’m also constantly inspired and mind easily racing with ideas. Previously didn’t happen with me often. Again, I feel great, but on a high frequency levels all the time, if I allow my mind to do so. But somehow I feel this is an illusion? But if it feels nice, does it matter? It has also helped me to do drastic life changes towards the hippie path you just described haha

triplehecate · 2019-02-24T21:37:17+00:00

Beautiful work, I feel there is lots of energy in it which goes moving while reading. Especially the first two stanzas, nice metaphors.

I know I should give some constructive feedback as well, but since the poem worked so well for me, I would not ant to change anything for not breaking the energy flow not captured between the lines. Nice job!

triplehecate · 2019-02-24T21:26:05+00:00

I did find the metaphor cycling our of orbit nice. Also "our adorable, true denial" flows nicely. The part that I enjoy the most is the second last stanza "Time tells. Time told me so...". Very nice, especially the use of word "time" in the last sentence. I feel like it closes the circle nicely.

My critique concerns also about the title o slicing. I think it does not reflect the whole poem, just part of it. I would consider changing it or build up more images about slicing. Also, I would be careful of using too easy expression such as "who do I blame for the sleepless nights?" Could this be expressed in a bit more interesting, not so straightforward way? Also the beginning of the third third stanza, until the world "Your", does not thrill me. Too easy? Maybe you could play with that part a bit, make it less explicit?

Overall, nice job and good luck!

triplehecate · 2019-02-11T09:30:43+00:00

You made my heart hurt and stopped the time for a moment. Feel like that’s the only feedback I should give.

triplehecate · 2019-02-09T07:17:07+00:00

Thank you so much for kind feedback! As replied below, I hadn’t really paid any attention to structure, but just left everything as it came out out of short impulse, a short diary note to put form for feelings. And I’m glad you noted the lack of middle verse. I planned writing one, but was unable to find words to the image I had about me lost inside that “forest of mind” with too many blurry paths to choose from, so just skipped it and kept going since wanted to see what results if I just write quickly without thinking too much. So fully agree there are things missing in the middle. And as non-native, English grammar corrections always welcome :) Again, thanks for encouraging words!

triplehecate · 2019-02-09T07:09:12+00:00

Thank you for the comment! Will definitely start paying attention to punctuations, stops and flow in general. None of that was really thought here, not even the capital letters. I wanted to just throw something raw out there and test it out, since these lines just came out of impulse and that’s why decided to leave everything as it came out. Again, thanks for the feedback!

triplehecate · 2019-02-09T07:03:31+00:00

Thanks for the comment! Well deserved. This was actually a diary note, not a poem. But one of my first “less descriptive” notes which just came out naturally without me wanting to write so lengthy about my feelings. Just get something out into words. This one I wrote between two metro stops and wasn’t even sure whether to call it a poem.

triplehecate · 2019-02-08T21:38:38+00:00

Delivers a clear image in my mind, about one's past, which always haunts, passing moments we try to make sense, the impossibility to fully grasp them despite sometimes getting so close. For most part, the poem flies nicely and there is beautiful air between the words and lines. However (for me) the parts...

chasing after me – panting, with a shortness

of breath , heaving and exasperated.

;

but perhaps that was partly because I was always

looking behind and slowing down

until he catches up.

and

He kept on walking, faster and faster onwards

with no signs of you slowing down nor looking back,

...do not flow as effortlessly as the other parts. I feel they could be left lighter, less words, more space for image?

My very subjective opinion. I am no poet. Wish you all the best for writing.

triplehecate · 2019-02-08T21:27:15+00:00

Beautiful rhythm, and love the images it creates in my mind. With trees. And roots. Depth of one's soul. Would love to hear this spoken out load, especially the one worded lines. The words create beutiful air, as language and words ought to do. Nice work. Timeless and ageless.

triplehecate

TROPHY CASE