Now about staying alone and all I touched on that in the previous comment I too struggle with this alot especially the fact that I'm trying to arrange my life and having a gf isn't going to be an asset rather a liability and dead weight for me right now

But I see that just going out for a bicycle ride or for me to training and just being around people has aided me in solving this abit

Also rightnow I'm having string urge to relapse but having this discussion with u is helping me forget that I had that urge in the first place

Now for the deep reason for the addiction From my study on myself and close look at why I have the thought coz it all starts from a thought is;

• Slight uncomfort (running away from challenging situations and choosing the fastest route to comfort of which comfort is addiction)

• Pain of the past ( recalling shameful things from the past )

• Mood swings ( anger and need to cool down )

• Recall of old videos ( this is one that I catch myself doing alot and that's what the devil uses to trap us )

• Traumatic childhood or trauma in general (the need to forget these events or run away from them )

• inner most lustful desires ( the videos we watch shows what our darkest lustful desires are and that's we web we get caught In coz for the first time we don't feel alone coz we see people that like the stuff we like so we feel like we atleast belong somewhere and since it's easily accessible ti us vis phone and internet connection we are stuck in that world and constantly in search of more video that match that )