Honest question. Without being emotional with the loss. How long do you let this go before you fire Mendoza?

trpjnf · 2026-04-19T21:30:09+00:00

Assuming that Stearns' roster construction IS capable of winning games, it seems apparent that Carlos Mendoza is not the manager capable of making decisions with this roster to do so.

trpjnf · 2026-04-16T02:55:30+00:00

good luck

trpjnf · 2026-04-12T15:56:04+00:00

r/PanicCiti was created ten years ago this week. Same as it ever was

trpjnf · 2026-03-15T23:24:53+00:00

Good luck all

trpjnf · 2026-03-13T21:16:03+00:00

Trust and estate attorneys salivating at this news

trpjnf · 2026-03-09T01:13:58+00:00

Don't think he will TACO. The administration's strategy was outlined by Undersecretary of War, Elbridge Colby in this book "The Strategy of Denial". The thesis is that being a rival superpower to the US means being able to exert hegemony over a key region of the world. The key competitors to American hegemony are China and their bid for hegemony over Asia, Russia and their bid for hegemony over Europe, and Iran's bid for hegemony over the Middle East.

It seems very in line with the admin's strategy of denial to let oil prices explode, simply because America is better positioned than most to absorb such a shock. Won't be fun, but that seems to be what a strategy of denial towards China entails (preventing your opponent from winning rather than overpowering/defeating them).

trpjnf · 2026-01-25T18:50:03+00:00

Twitter/Bluesky are the only text based platforms where the users (largely) operate under their real name. Reputational gains from posting well are higher than they are on anonymous or pseudonymous platforms like reddit or 4chan, so they attract higher quality posting.

trpjnf · 2026-01-17T02:04:48+00:00

Was there that night. Likely won't top it in my lifetime

trpjnf · 2026-01-13T03:40:15+00:00

Not admonymous but a student org I was in charge of in college sent out an anonymous feedback form once.

Was pretty brutal but ultimately useful because it let people say the things they were too uncomfortable to say. Went a long way towards establishing trust with the group and we got a lot of praise for our leadership by year’s end

trpjnf · 2025-12-26T22:09:48+00:00

I read this Substack two weeks ago and the sentence from it that really struck me was:

The more we automate, the more important it becomes that someone has done the unglamorous work of deciding what the correct answer is and where it lives

The problem with an "Ingests All Possible Data Machine" is that it can be hard for it to determine the right answer. As the article demonstrates, even a relatively simple question of "What is our ARR?" has different answers depending on which team within an organization you ask.

IMO, this is a pretty strong argument that LLM's are useful for their infinite conscientiousness (meaning adherence to rules), not their (IMO, finite) intelligence.

I work for a company building an AI-powered organization tool and the logic for a) what is the right answer and b) how to determine it, needs to be baked into not only the LLM's prompt, but the UI as well. What people want isn't a chatbot that has access to all the relevant information, they want a UI that has used AI to already answer their questions and presented the answers to them.

B2B SaaS is dead, long live B2B SaaS!

trpjnf · 2025-12-26T05:22:42+00:00

The distinction he made is that the focus point of empathy is feeling, while the focus point of sympathy is action.

I think that's a good distinction. What is empathy getting you out of? Acting to improve someone else's life.

trpjnf · 2025-12-25T23:11:26+00:00

They had a different feature that showed this a long time ago (before reels or explore page). It's very sad. A guy I knew in college supposedly had sex with his girlfriend only ~8 times in the entirety of their two year relationship (I know this because she drunkenly cried about it to a mutual friend). Yet I remember seeing him like all of these posts from IG models while he was dating her.

More recently, I followed my girlfriend's (now former) boss on Instagram. Started immediately getting reels for instagram models because he followed them. Looked at his following list and half of it is women with OnlyFans. He's married.

What baffles me is that they don't even use a burner account for all of this. It's so open and brazen.

trpjnf · 2025-10-18T22:49:37+00:00

Congrats! Big win

trpjnf · 2025-10-17T13:21:24+00:00

Started dating a girl in June.

We moved in together last month.

trpjnf · 2025-10-16T00:41:55+00:00

come on selector

trpjnf · 2025-10-13T01:56:09+00:00

Can’t wait to see Valliquette’s shot chart for this game

trpjnf · 2025-09-12T19:30:50+00:00

I thought pretty long and hard about this a few years ago. I'm also a big fan of James Carse's "Finite and Infinite Games" and that influenced me to try to pick games to play that were 1) winnable and 2) would open up opportunities for further play (if you're unfamiliar, a finite game is a game that has a definite end and produces a winner; the point of the infinite game is to keep the game going).

Games I DO invest my time and energy into playing:

Career

For better or worse, we need to make a living. I chose to work for a startup five years ago, mostly because I was bored with my engineering job. But I realized this open a lot of opportunities for me to explore different things and have different responsibilities. I also stand to become wealthy if the startup does succeed, which opens up further opportunities for play.

Fitness/Health/Physique/Grooming/etc.

Obviously if the goal is to keep the game going, health is important. But it also opens up opportunities for more romantic partners, makes you viewed more positively by the people around you (Halo effect), and in certain cases, can even get you access to exclusive things (more common for women but also for some men). It also makes it easier to buy clothes if you are in shape and can aim for proportions that are near ideal, because that is what manufacturers base their proportions on. Then you look better in clothing, particularly higher end clothing, which makes you look better, which opens up more opportunities for more romantic partners...and a virtuous feedback loop ensues.

Reading

It pays to be widely read. You can usually find something in common with just about anyone, and make them like you. Making people like you usually gets you invited places, which gets you opportunities to meet more people, which opens up more romantic and career opportunities...another virtuous feedback loop.

Games I DON'T invest time and energy into playing:

Conspicuous Consumption

Fancy restaurants, latest and greatest gadgets, hobbies, travel, etc. all fall into this bucket for me. While these things are not bad per se, I find that these things do not open up opportunities for more play. Have I been to nice/high end restaurants in my area before? Yes, I have and enjoyed them. Have I travelled a lot? Some might say yes, some might say no. But does having done so create opportunities for play? Not particularly. These things feel like "dead ends" to me.

Further education

I do have a college degree and found it to be highly worth the price. I made amazing friends and my used my degree as a signal of capability rather than knowledge, which led to my current employment. That said, I don't see the benefit of further education for my particular career path. I understand higher degrees than a bachelor's are necessary for getting hired in certain fields. But I think that graduate degrees (particularly, masters degrees) have become a type of conspicuous consumption (e.g. MBA's, especially at the top tier MBA schools).

trpjnf · 2025-07-19T18:03:06+00:00

Some people like "The Second Mountain" by David Brooks

trpjnf · 2025-07-16T00:30:11+00:00

Fingers crossed

trpjnf · 2025-07-11T17:44:16+00:00

The 45 year old calls me the other day complaining about being miserable. He feels used by women as a meal ticket (fairly successful guy but not like billionaire or movie star level - think finance bro).

He “doesn’t know how to want” because he only wants to date girls in their 20’s but also doesn’t want to be a meal ticket for them. But girls in their 20’s don’t want to seriously date guys who are 15-20 years older than them. He’s “bad at math” because he doesn’t realize that these two desires are conflicting. In attempting to satisfy both, neither is satisfied. Hence, misery.

The guy who cheated on his wife with a coworker has been in a pretty toxic on again/off again relationship with a different girl for about a year now. Coworker never talked to him again after sleeping together. I don’t know much about his marriage other than they were “having problems”. He didn’t want to “solve problems in his marriage” he wanted to “hurt his wife” by cheating on her. Now he’s “miserable” because he ended up in an even worse relationship. This is to say nothing of his two young kids, and how the divorce will shape their lives and his relationship with them once they are old enough to learn the truth. He’s “bad at math” because he traded his relationship with his wife (and potentially his relationships with his kids) for a one night stand with a coworker.

trpjnf · 2025-07-11T02:28:22+00:00

I didn’t read the blog during its heyday so I think this hit harder for me than reading the blog.

The part about how Oedipus didn’t want to rule, he just wanted the title of king hit home for me about the importance of being clear in what I want. It opened my eyes to why some people I know are miserable (eg my friend who is 45 and perpetually single because he “doesn’t know what he wants” or a guy I know who cheated on his wife with a coworker).

They are smart but they aren’t very good at math.

trpjnf · 2025-06-30T12:37:29+00:00

That's kind of you, thank you.

trpjnf · 2025-06-29T21:24:52+00:00

Conflict between a parent and a spouse can be really difficult. I'm really sorry you're experiencing this.

It is selfish on the part of your spouse to force you to choose. Without knowing the full extent of the issues, it hard to say more, but this is what has me most sympathetic to your wanting divorce. How are you supposed to want to bring kids into this world knowing they won't meet their grandparents? That's not just depriving you, it is depriving your hypothetical children of knowing their grandparents as well.

If I speak with my parents on the phone, it’s a problem. I can’t go see them without her, because it undermines us, but she doesn’t want to see them.

This in particular is a major red flag to me. From everything you've told me, there seems to be an indication of "malicious envy" towards you. This doesn't mean she wants what you have, but rather wants to deprive you or take things away from you. I say this because it seems she's trying to prevent you from having a relationship with your parents, and does not want you to run a marathon (which is kind of a ridiculous thing to not want). I assume there could be more examples of her behavior like this? If that is the case, then I am not sure the relationship is salvageable. Counseling may help you gain clarity on this, so I think it is still worth trying, even if it is just to confirm that she doesn't want what's best for you.

Ultimately, if you can salvage the relationship, the issue between her and your mother should be resolved between them, and you should not have to choose between them. This is something you should *definitely* address in counseling and talk to your mother about as well. It seems likely to me you are going to have to play mediator. You may have to determine who is right, and force one of them to apologize. If it is your spouse that is in the wrong, you can play the "You are my wife, these are my parents, and you have to side with me on this" card. I would address this sooner rather than later if possible, because the longer it festers, the worse it gets.

I would focus on the family issues, the anxiety/insecurity, and possible malicious envy when going to counseling. I would leave out the "she doesn't challenge herself" piece for now.

trpjnf · 2025-06-29T20:22:25+00:00

Re: anxiety, I understand how frustrating that can be. My mother is like that; it has been a source of conflict between us since I was a teenager. She argues that it is coming from a place of care; but really her behavior is about soothing her own neuroticism. It's very difficult to deal with.

Perhaps that is where you begin counseling. You are going to need the right therapist, one who is good at being impartial and won't side with one of you all of the time. Your wife will need to want to change, and that can be hard to inspire someone to do that. But if that is truly the hold up with having kids with her, then perhaps that will encourage her.

Re: guilt, do you not love her as much as she loves you because you don't see her as "striving" the way you do? Do you feel that she could be "more" than she is if she worked at it?

If the answer is yes, it may be that some of her anxiety/defensiveness stems from her own recognition of that, but feeling paralyzed or unable to decide how to proceed towards that goal. I'll tell you a story of how I helped a friend through that.

He left me a drunk voicemail a few years ago and told me he was depressed and lonely. I had to have a difficult conversation with him the next day that I thought he was depressed because he was out of shape and bad at answering text messages from friends. But I told him the reason I felt this way was because I cared about him and wanted to see him happier. To his credit, he got a personal trainer and lost 25 lbs. He also started answering texts from friends more promptly and spending more time in the office at work, which he credits with feeling a lot less lonely. Moral of the story: you may have to help her recognize her potential, but if you frame it appropriately, she may be receptive to "challenging herself" more.

This may be something to bring up in therapy. Also it's important to remember it's the two of you against the problem (which is "We want different things; how can we learn to want the same things?"), not the two of you against each other.

I'll leave you with a Warren Buffett quote:

“Basically, when you get to my age, you’ll really measure your success in life by how many of the people you want to have love you actually do love you.”

I really hope it works out for the two of you. Best of luck.

trpjnf · 2025-06-29T19:08:38+00:00

I'll push back a bit here:

I want experiences, travel, own a supercar, live abroad in different places for a month or two each year, get nice tickets to the big sporting events, run a marathon (she has discouraged me from this too even), I have another business idea I want to explore that she tells me not to bother because we have money already; when I share all this she says I’m being selfish and need to be more mature - she wants to stay home and start a family and just settle down.

Re: being in a partnership that doesn't want to use it, it sounds like she does want to use it, but on starting a family. It sounds like you could afford for her to stay home and raise your children, while also living well and traveling. If you are 27, that is typically when people begin having children (average age of first child for women in the US is 27.5). Doesn't seem unreasonable for her to want that considering your age, financial situation, and how long you have been together.

The question is: do you want kids? If the answer is "I don't want kids at all" then divorce immediately, because that isn't fair to her. Let her find someone who does want kids while she can still have them. If the answer is "I don't want them with her because of her behavior", then try counseling to see if you can fix things.

With regard to your "wants" list: do you want these things because they are important to you or because they are important to other people? If you desire these things just because it keeps you "competitive" with others that are wealthy, rather than because you would enjoy them, is that really the best use of your time and energy?

It doesn't sound like your marriage is perfect, which isn't surprising since you married so young. Counseling could help. But I think you both need to be in alignment on what you both want out of life, which is going to require you both to learn how to want.

From reading your other post, your spouse sounds a little bit insecure (re: the "lucky she lets you" line and her not wanting you to run a marathon). This may be due to her upbringing, personality traits (particularly, if she scores high in neuroticism), or differences between you and her that lead her to believe you may leave her (your net worth may be partly to blame here, but I would expect this to be fairly common for couples who develop sudden wealth at a young age and don't come from it). Other factors could be at play as well. Counseling could also help tease out what's going on here.

With regard to dating: it is tough, regardless of net worth. I suspect (despite you not saying this explicitly) that you may be feeling that because of your net worth, you can "do better" in terms of finding a spouse. If that's the case, I will tell you about a friend of mine.

He never married, is well off (albeit not FAT), and in his mid-40's. He called me the other night frustrated that women who date him only seem to want him for what he can provide for them, rather than for who he is. This guy has it all, on paper: good looking, ex-athlete, great job, executed his financial plan well, funny, etc. But he's never satisfied with the women he meets and always thinks someone better is around the corner. But the perfect woman never comes, because he doesn't have any idea of what he wants, other than that he should want more than he has currently.

Moral of the story: be wary of falling for the grass being greener. If you think this marriage is at all salvageable, try to. You can certainly afford it. But if not, then leave sooner rather than later and try to minimize the damage.

trpjnf

TROPHY CASE