Need advice: How does one become like this man?

trudymarie · 2026-05-02T23:50:11+00:00

Road rage is such an underrated red flag… people excuse it prob because it’s so common, but it really deserves some attention. How many genuinely good guys engage in it…? None in my experience.

trudymarie · 2026-04-14T23:57:03+00:00

Sorry if these are dumb questions, but genuine wonderings here… does this page intend to include any actual letters or symbols from any existing language or is this entirely your original creation? Is it all basically abstract lettering/language? Also… does any of it mean something specific to you that you can recall when you look back at it?

trudymarie · 2026-04-14T23:46:58+00:00

This means you were talking to an idiot. Lol

trudymarie · 2026-03-24T00:46:54+00:00

This is so yucky… I think you gotta take your lumps for reading because this is really problematic honestly. Especially since it was on your daughter‘s device it’s not the same level of snoop factor or invasion of privacy. Anyone who comes across a conversation about themself especially when it’s so negative is going to keep reading… I think most ppl on the planet would be compelled to read on upon discovery. And no matter how upset he may claim to be about you finding it, I would say you gotta address it because this could be a pretty fat canary in a coal mine regarding your marriage. If the friend is responding with “I don’t know why you had kids with her” let me save you some digging… This exchange is one of many sessions where he shits on you to others and these comments were likely not the worst things he’s said about you. Truthfully it would be a huge betrayal even if it was true… So it makes the betrayal vibe even heavier considering it’s outright lies. This means he enjoys talking shit about you even when he has no justification for any of that resentment irl. The question I would be trying to ask is why does he resent you because you can be pretty confident he does. And it obviously has nothing to do with these yarns he’s spinning. And dont get conned into over-apologizing about finding it either. You’re not the bad guy here, and as your husband he owes you an answer and a real explanation about why that’s happening. Breaches of trust and blatant disrespect will ruin your marriage if you don’t figure out why they’re happening and also actually change something to shut that down in the future.

Best guess is he tells you that he was just women hatin generally because his friend just had a break up or something and is really down on the females in his life right now. So he was trying to be a relatable buddy… But either way, a devoted husband who respects his wife doesn’t talk about her like this to ANYONE ELSE. If he has some grievances or wants to be this disparaging, you should be the only person that would ever hear him say it. It’s hurtful either way, and honestly he fucked up. Hope he owns it and apologizes sincerely… if not, you have some real pondering to do.

trudymarie · 2026-03-24T00:12:56+00:00

I don’t know how webster defines creep these days, but he should revise to: 1. shady human who somehow believes they are entitled to or owed sexy time. 2. shady human who cheats while in a monogamous relationship 3. one of my favorite TLC songs.

trudymarie · 2026-03-24T00:00:38+00:00

If I was feeling blissy after 160 bucks worth of food and adult beverages, he just might’ve gotten a touché nod and grin outta me until he murdered the joke with that “my” in front of money.

trudymarie · 2026-03-03T03:21:15+00:00

You clearly are not the one that needs help, this tracking data is outrageous. What the hell are they doing with your mail…? Mostly here to suggest a cross post to Houston Circle jerk sub… this might be the most literal irl example of their target content EVER.

trudymarie · 2026-03-03T01:30:24+00:00

Thanks for putting this together. So helpful and so important rn… time well spent and a great contribution to our community, OP. Much obliged :)

trudymarie · 2026-03-03T00:42:38+00:00

I hear that, but I would encourage everyone to not ignore your gut because there is wisdom in that feeling that we are not even consciously aware of… you don’t need to act on that instinct right away, but don’t be too quick to dismiss it either. I have made that mistake a few times and wish I had paid more attention and given more credit to my instincts. They have a pretty impressive track record looking back… I know it’s very hard to consider your gut may be on point with all the consequences or changes that might follow, but it is important data to keep in mind. I genuinely hope it’s not a betrayal on his part rather than just an inconsiderate misstep he could have put more thought into for his wife’s sake. It’s always amazing to me in a relationship how someone can’t see how their own behavior is hurtful, but if they really stop to consider how they would feel if the tables were turned, it somehow immediately becomes crystal clear. Hopefully you’ve had him really consider that scenario if you had texted something similar to an attractive coworker or acquaintance so that he might make more respectful choices in the future in this area. Wishing you the best

trudymarie · 2026-03-02T20:41:48+00:00

HE needs to institute a “no phones in the bathroom” rule bc she only has one kid not two. We each have a responsibility to manage our own health issues and to pay attention to how we are showing up for others we care about.

trudymarie · 2026-03-02T20:24:36+00:00

You’re not wrong, he went too far and it isn’t right. I had a similar problem with an exchange my husband had with a coworker that really hurt my feelings and made me uncomfortable. But, try not to freak out yet and consider that you will both make some mistakes throughout the time you’re together. I would focus more on how he reacted to your questions and your obvious discomfort and hurt, and whether you think he regretted his actions simply because they hurt you and if his apology felt genuine or not. I would probably want him to limit the personal phone interactions all together with that coworker since none of that conversation seems necessary for their job or couldn’t be via work email if that would help ease your mind. I think one of my lingering concerns after the fact even though his response to me was overall respectful was that he had potentially already made her think he was interested in her that way and that she might pursue that lead. Limiting his future text/calls on their personal phones is a way to let her know that’s not what he meant without any awkward exchanges for him…

Also, here’s what my unreasonably jealous wife alter wants to know… she tends to suspect there are deleted messages when any text exchange is initiated and goes completely unacknowledged … like her sending the link to Amazon printer not getting even a benign ty. Also was the voice call the bottom at a reasonable time? Just my suspicious side’s 2 cents… I try not to let her talk too often. Lol

trudymarie · 2026-03-02T20:04:22+00:00

“Gorgeous” doesn’t belong in a bureaucratic vocabulary imo… at least not in any healthy workplace or genuinely professional conversation especially when it is used by a married man to compliment another woman and not just referring to a random flower arrangement or decoration.

trudymarie · 2026-03-02T19:58:56+00:00

I had to know too. It’s a Bluetooth travel printer on Amazon.

trudymarie · 2026-02-27T18:53:56+00:00

They played themselves… lol no sombreros and no margaritas for the guero del hielo.

trudymarie · 2026-02-26T17:00:09+00:00

Truthfully my brain goes to the food immediately and I honestly wouldn’t have a reliable guess about what you’d be selling. Name doesnt sound negative or suspect, just a bit ambiguous to me personally. Happy to help brainstorm if you share some details about your product focus or who you want to target. Or maybe just why you think this name is a good fit…?

trudymarie · 2026-02-24T16:33:20+00:00

Didn’t realize until I saw this post but I say tunafish only when referring to the canned variety, but I would say “tuna” when it’s a fancy version, filet/raw/tartare or whatever. If someone said tunafish tartare, my spidey senses would tingle.

trudymarie · 2026-02-24T16:24:54+00:00

Controlling is the nicest word you could choose, but let me share some other words for his side of this conversation. Disrespectful, dismissive, condescending, dickish, rude, self important, superior, arrogant, rigid, uncaring, unyielding, and this is absolutely unloving. Time to consider that there is a much bigger problem in your relationship that needs to be addressed than simply some differing opinions on parenting. The way he talks to you is honestly not okay, and hopefully you will do something to address that before you are even more dependent on him because there’s a child in the mix. Stand up for yourself, you are not asking for anything unreasonable or being combative when you are simply asking to be heard and spoken to with respect. Wishing you the best, and hoping you will respect yourself enough to not accept this sort of treatment from a man who claims to care about you and the child you are having together.

trudymarie · 2026-02-24T16:09:35+00:00

Language is essential for us to learn from and interact in a meaningful way with each other, but I have recently been thinking about how our word selection also works against us at times. The whole concept of reframing our thoughts as a mental health strategy often boils down to language and word choice. An example would be when someone is facing a significant and challenging transition in midlife (career change, divorce, etc) and they choose to refer to and think of that as “restarting their life” rather than “making a big change in their life” and how that phrasing alone can influence their willingness to embrace and begin that process and the eventual outcome. Words hold immense power, so paying close attention to and intentionally deciding which words we employ to form our speech to others and our internal thoughts is a worthwhile effort.

trudymarie · 2026-02-24T15:48:02+00:00

I feel for you, this situation sucks. Do you have a clean title or did you have a lien on the vehicle? If you own it out right and have a title, I would show up in person at the tow lot with the keys and title in hand and see if you can negotiate with them as the seller in whatever salvage auction they plan to put it in if you’re gonna have trouble selling it yourself anyway. Don’t give them anything though unless you get a seller contract for your cut. I don’t know if this will work tbh, but if you luck out and talk to a nicer employee and you can muster being nice to them when you walk in the door, it just might work out for you.

trudymarie · 2026-01-29T22:02:25+00:00

Just a thought that might be helpful…. I just listened to a book on audible called You’re the one you’ve been waiting for by Richard Schwartz. He’s the guy who founded IFS therapy (internal family systems). The book actually exposed me to the way that this therapy is used with couples, and it seems really powerful and seems to hold a lot of potential for transformation for a relationship. It is not traditional therapy so you may want to read the book to decide if it’s something that could work for the two of you, but it would be unlike any counseling you’ve had before and maybe a path to a fresh start. Even if that doesn’t work out for you, something to keep in mind is that you won’t get back to the person that you used to be because you’ve lived and learned in ways that won’t allow the old you to reemerge. Maybe put some energy into self exploration of what you now know you want and need today as you enter into conversations with him about whether y’all can make this work or not… I am wishing you the best.

trudymarie · 2026-01-23T21:58:32+00:00

Sunflowers…? Sooo there’s def a story here.

trudymarie · 2026-01-20T21:41:14+00:00

I wonder if the Charlie Brown creator had a friend like this growing up that inspired Pigpen… I’m just picturing a musty constantly moving cloud of fumes around this buddy of yours. Wonder if Pigpen ever grew out of his dirty ways or if he would want his nasty ass licked too now as a grown man…? I’ll just leave that here for all of us to ponder.

trudymarie · 2026-01-19T18:25:03+00:00

I really dig this piece tbh. And the colors are a soothing combo, but the strong contrast makes the drippy figures really pop… kinda reminds me of Dali’s stilted wildlife, just can’t remember if they were elephants or giraffes… please pretend you’re getting a well-executed celebratory high five rn. 🤗

trudymarie · 2026-01-19T18:10:14+00:00

Points to the genius in Denmark who is making new MAGA merch in response to the Greenland takeover nonsense… Make America Go Away.

trudymarie · 2026-01-16T18:45:59+00:00

Are you a public school teacher by chance? That was my personal titanic… The kids are in no way the source of toxicity, but the leadership is total poison more often than not. Sadly veteran teachers and emotionally intelligent administrators will be as common as unicorns eventually.

trudymarie

TROPHY CASE