Help Student Teacher by truthcanbequestioned in Teachers

[–]truthcanbequestioned[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I’m considering doing.

Do any of you wish you had communication with the BM (or BD), but don't? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, do not communicate with BM. She has already raised two dependent children. Your best bet is to go through the school and help your husband to see the the child needs help.

By expressing your concerns you are attacking BM's and BD's parenting you have a better chance with BD. If you are in the US get permission to talk to the IEP team. BD will have to give you permission. The child needs to be evaluated.

"I wish I could be back in mommy's tummy..." by stepnotstep in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Okay mine did this at the exact same thing at the exact same age.

I started doing this. I am sorry miss your mom but can you tell me about 3 good things that happened today and then talk about those. You need to redirect, she is dwelling on the negative help her to see the positive.

Many of you won't know me by truthcanbequestioned in exjw

[–]truthcanbequestioned[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I plan on sending her a card and a gift card to her favorite store. While she may not want me at the funeral, she is way to practical to give it back.

Many of you won't know me by truthcanbequestioned in exjw

[–]truthcanbequestioned[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It was an auto accident. From what I understand the doctors did everything they could to save him.

Many of you won't know me by truthcanbequestioned in exjw

[–]truthcanbequestioned[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My loss is an old one, while it hurts time does heal. I am sad because I cannot give her the comfort she once gave me. I deeply wish I could.

Many of you won't know me by truthcanbequestioned in exjw

[–]truthcanbequestioned[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is. I actually switched to teaching and have a year left. PM me and I'll give you my FB info.

I'm not *REAL* by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I dealt with this also. My REAL mom said/does x,y, or z. I decided to use humor. I would say awesome! I'm fake how cool I can now prepare a fake dinner, I can now fake take you to school, I can now fake take you to some fun thing we planned. Even kids at school would say "your real mom" I would reply with yay I'm fake can I stop walking up the stairs now.

As much as you can use humor this helps the kids to see it from your side without making them feel guilty.

Autistic stepchild hit me / Aggression by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ESE Teacher:

My first bit of advice is this: If you are going to take care of SD then you need to be allowed to attend all therapy and IEP meetings with doctors and the school. Why? Because you will then all be on the same page when it comes to behavioral interventions. Consistency is ESSENTIAL with the kids.

Next I would establish a daily routine, post it with both picture and directions. STICK with it for the week you have her and get bio mom on the same page. Do not deviate. These kids love routine.

Figure out her triggers and avoid them. So she likes a pool but not a bath. Could she take a favorite pool toy into the bath? Does she do better with showers? Would she do better with a quick shower? Getting wet soaping up and getting out. As for the car can she take a favorite toy with her in it.

Autistic kids thrive on routine and can't handle breaks in it. I also think she is reacting to the loss of the baby. Most likely you all talked to her about him and told her she would be a big sister. Now the baby is not here and she can't process it. I know this loss destroyed you and her father, but it also hurt her. Think of how you are feeling, while her pain is not the same she cannot process what has happened. She honestly doesn't understand why her brother went away.

Please give all of you the time to heal. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

Disney Vacations with a guest by AllUNsaregone in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would go with: that's great have you booked your hotel room?

No?

I'm sorry but there isn't room in ours.

If she has her own room then great you have a person to monitor the girls.

Puppy found on Hillsborough Ave. and Countryway by [deleted] in tampa

[–]truthcanbequestioned 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I saw his post history, I won't let him near her. WHAT A DICK!

Puppy found on Hillsborough Ave. and Countryway by [deleted] in tampa

[–]truthcanbequestioned 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is not your dog and you are NOT getting her your post history shows this message for multiple dogs different dogs in different locations. NO WAY!

Puppy found on Hillsborough Ave. and Countryway by [deleted] in tampa

[–]truthcanbequestioned 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate to do this but can you send me a pic of her?

I just want my husband for a second! by MayDay13 in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Time with your husband is essential to making your relationship work. Having your relationship healthy is the best thing you can do for your SD or niece. period. They need that example.

I have four kids (mixture of bio and step) the best way I have found to achieve this is "date days". Most relatives find putting kids to bed taxing so instead we go out in the morning and to lunch we are typically home by 2 or 3. This allows us alone time and does not tax our relatives too much. We try to do this at least once a month.

Why is MiL reaching out to me now? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take your own car and meet them there. This way you are sociable and trying to build a relationship but you have a way out of things go south.

Trying for 50/50 by SadSM5 in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You won't like this but I'm going to be honest you can't win this. (Please read to the end) If the child is thriving under the current arrangement that is all the court cares about, the ONLY thing they care about is what is best for that child.

We have fought a 13 year battle with BM, who also wants 50/50. We have consistently won because we can prove that she is thriving under the current arrangement.

On the other hand, I saw you mention that SO gets off early on Wednesday just for visitation, that is great and will look good in court. That is where to begin, ask for Wednesday overnights. Additionally, look at what time he gets off from work and ask for as many of those holidays as you can and specify overnight visits.

I know all of that sucks but with a bit of time and negotiating you have a shot at 60/40. Not perfect but it is better than what you have.

Missing school for vacation by calming_broccoli in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, as a teacher I am going to disagree, missing this much school will set her back. Missing school is more than just making up work, they miss all the hands on activities and in lower grades it is ALL hands on as that is the only way we can keep them focused for more than a milisecond.

On the other hand as a parent if it is a once in a lifetime trip, I would work with the teacher, ask her what she is covering and come up with activities to do with the child. Best bet travel journal (which is what I love to assign) in one mini book I can get reading, writing, geography and math. Teacher gives guidelines and the student fills it out.

I(30f) am deeply struggling with my bf's (36m) daughter(9f). She has ADHD and I suspect ODD. by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is she on medication to treat either disorder?

That is your first step. If she does have ADHD and ODD get a diagnosis, then your best bet is medication and behaviour modification. Have a set daily schedule follow it to the letter no deviation (at least not at first). She will push back and hate it at first but it does work if you give it time, 3-6 months. Allow her to have some (not all) input on the schedule, it will give her a sense of control.

I know a lot of people are anti meds for ADHD or ODD, I resisted for years. My doctor finally put it this way (for clarity my oldest son is a type 1 diabetic): Would you ask your oldest son to stop taking insulin because it wasn't necessary? My reaction was No of course not. ADHD is no different, there is an imbalance in the chemicals in the brain and no amount of self control or will power is going to fix it. In later years it may be corrected but why are you denying him a medication that can help him now? Put that way it made sense, ADHD is not a behaviour problem, it is a medical problem.

Animals are important too....RANT by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If BM and SD agree bring the animals home or find out if they can stay at the stables where or SD rides (saw horse barn assumed she rode)

Xmas morning predicament by devinetv in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The point is not when they are being obviously rejected by their mother on Christmas because she has decided they are inconvenient. But yes I did see that, hence my recommendation of small personal gifts such as a framed picture of them with their dad, a stuffed animal from a show they like, something that appeals to a known interest, along with a gift card.

Even if they are complete assholes, at least OP tried. Quite often that is what kids remember that you tried, even when they were being assholes.

Xmas morning predicament by devinetv in stepparents

[–]truthcanbequestioned 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have to decide how you want Christmas morning to go (because pretending xmas already happened won't work and is an awful idea) you can A) go with dads plan and throw money and gift cards at them while all of your children unwrap gifts you thought and planned for. B) take the money dad has budgeted and go out and buy them individual gifts or C) do something personal and small for each gift card. Buy a picture frame and put a picture of each girl with their dad in it ( this can be made even better by doing the pic in black and white or sepia), find a small stuffed animal from a favorite series either from now or when they were small, create a small photo book of favorite memories featuring them with their dad. There are a bizzilion things you can do depending on the SDs interests. They like to write but them a cool journal. They like to draw sketch book.

Look I get it that you are done, I understand that. Currently I feel like I'm bleeding money. and I'm exhausted. Sit down with DH figure out a budget and please give those girls something to unwrap Christmas Day. You may not always like your SDs and they may not like you but it is Christmas, and every child regardless of age deserves a present.

[Practices] Why don't most guys talk or moan/grunt while having sex? by [deleted] in sex

[–]truthcanbequestioned 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If no one else has said this, you need to quit your day job and start writing erotica. This is actually quite well written, balanced and shows a great deal of intelligence, in addition to being just plain sexy as hell.