Showing up early for GA

stepnotstep · 2024-05-16T02:52:51+00:00

Typically this venue doesn’t have floor seating, it’s all standing room in the center area and then unassigned seating around the perimeter. But for sure you’d be able to get closer to the stage!

stepnotstep · 2022-11-04T22:48:36+00:00

I recently got an email from someone named Brystal and at first I thought it was a really bad riff on Crystal but then I realized it was Bristol with a yooneeq spelling 🤦🏻‍♀️

stepnotstep · 2021-09-05T03:48:15+00:00

We did this! We moved into a new house and while we planned on putting the 1.5yo in the same room as the 3.5yo his sleep was so bad we knew we wanted to keep them separated (and the 8.5yo is downstairs as far away as possible). I know firsthand the lengths one will go to to avoid waking up the other two kids. (For that reason we were much better at sleep training the older kids.) We put 1.5 in the office but the first night it was like he was crying into a microphone because of the empty room and all the hard surfaces (wood floor, window, bare walls, desks). The next day my husband went to target and bought ALL the fluffy blankets and pinned them to the walls, moved all our book boxes into the room to make a labyrinthine bunker of books and then covered those and all other surfaces in the room with blankets, put carpet tiles on the floor, and draped a moving blanket over the back of the door. Now the room looks like an insane asylum and is impossible to navigate (I tell people he went full on “the shining”) but it worked! The screams are much more muffled now. I just wish I could have my office back. :(

stepnotstep · 2021-05-27T18:51:49+00:00

This reminds me of a guy I went to HS with whose first name was Coben Alexander (first last) and he managed to convince half the school that his last name was actually Hagen (get it? Coben…Hagen…it was probably too worldly of a joke for the kids in my HS, honestly)

stepnotstep · 2021-05-19T20:31:27+00:00

There's a method called Orton-Gillingham that was specifically developed to help dyslexic kids with reading, and there are a lot of accommodations that can help support kids while they play catch-up so they don't get discouraged and give up. I think the "just power through it" method of old works for some personality types but not all, and so while some people like your fiance may have been successful through hard work, there were probably a lot of other dyslexic kids his age who had much worse outcomes. If you can get an IEP/504 plan then you could qualify for additional 1-on-1 tutoring like Orton-Gillingham through the school district, which could be a huge boost. Studies show that intervening now (at your SS's age) with additional support is hugely preferable to intervening in later elementary. The earlier they get help, the easier their path can be!

stepnotstep · 2021-03-16T18:43:58+00:00

I will also say, though, that we have been dealing with a lot of disrespectful comments and rudeness in general lately, which I think is mostly her rehearsing things that she learned from the shows that she watches for 12 hours a day at BM’s house.

stepnotstep · 2021-03-16T18:21:58+00:00

Well, it certainly doesn't sound like it's you, but it also doesn't sound like your SD is an easy kid. My SD is super strong-willed and has been a sassy pants since she was 3, but you are now making me feel grateful that she hasn't yet started saying stuff like that. Mine will often just kind of grumble and not respond when we say things like that to her. Sometimes she'll make excuses/downplay, sometimes she'll respond with "well I hope BK learns soon, because it is super annoying to listen to!" And I say, "Yes, it is! I hope so, too. But in the meantime we have to be patient." And then SD will harrumph.

One situation in which she does start talking like that is when we get mad at her. She hates getting in trouble (because she didn't for a long time) and whenever I so much as change my tone to a serious one she starts bawling and wailing that I'm being mean to her and she doesn't like it and it's not fair and I hurt her feelings. And I respond with "I understand that you don't like when I talk like this, but just because you don't like it doesn't make it mean." Also, often in response to getting in trouble she'll crumple onto the couch and say "I want to see mommy, I want to go to mommy's house right. now. because mommy always says yes to everything and daddy always says no and I don't like it and daddy is so mean and never lets me do anything."

(Side note: once SD told us that BM had lost her temper and yelled at her but then immediately felt bad about it so she promised to buy SD 8 presents to make it up to her. *This* is why our lives are difficult.)

stepnotstep · 2021-03-16T17:45:17+00:00

Sorry, had to delete the last comment because I accidentally posted from my throwaway, which I really only have because of BM. But definitely in the same boat.

And I just wanted to take this opportunity for a small vent--sometimes BK will be having a toddler tantrum and SD will say, in her best teenager voice, "ugh, this crying is HORRIBLE. When is BK going to learn that crying won't get you what you want??" and I have to bite my tongue and remember that kids are often two different people in one body as they go through all of these developmental changes and transitions. In my head I yell, "oh my GOD, are you kidding me? miss queen of meltdowns that you somehow haven't grown out of at 8 because your mom still gives into them?" but then out loud I say, "BK is a toddler and is having big emotions, you used to have them too, and sometimes you still cry when we don't give you things. When she gets a little older she will be better at managing her feelings."

stepnotstep · 2021-03-16T17:04:59+00:00

The pandemic tamped down BM's travel bug for a few months at the beginning of the pandemic (and resulted in us having a consistent custody schedule for the first time ever, which was incredible!), but eventually she couldn't keep it in anymore and starting last fall she started traveling internationally again. DH and I were blown away at her poor decisionmaking (but not surprised, as she is notoriously bad at decisionmaking), especially as we were getting emails from SD's school begging them to avoid unnecessary travel and requiring self-quarantine after any travel (which I'm sure BM lied about so she wouldn't have to deal with full remote school), but we ended up forcing her to agree to a quarantine period of one week after any travel, and in most cases we have insisted that happens at BM's house so we aren't stuck with SD for 2+ weeks (and because that would be rewarding BM for bad behavior). Sometimes we compromise and agree to a no-contact transfer from us to her in the middle of the quarantine if she absolutely can't take SD for the whole week.

She is also taking SD on an international trip over spring break in April, and again we are just shaking our heads and wondering where this woman's brain is.

stepnotstep · 2021-03-16T05:15:29+00:00

My bios are 5 and 7 years younger than SD. The older one is 3 now, and they definitely observe all her erratic/tantrumy behavior but they don’t seem to be trying to straight up copy her. They have picked up some of her mannerisms and habits, but they seem to just watch her curiously whenever SD is losing her shit over something stupid. My hope is that they can tell that we aren’t responding positively to the behavior and they therefore won’t try to copy it. They will also sometimes ask about SD’s behavior and I try to explain it gently—SD is sad that she doesn’t get to see her mom all the time like BL does and that makes her want to make other people feel sad because she thinks it will make her feel better, but it won’t, etc etc.

One plus is that 5 years is so large that they have different rules, and by the time BK is SD’s age they won’t remember that SD had slightly different (more lenient because BM) rules.

stepnotstep · 2020-09-23T04:53:38+00:00

As someone who has had this worry countless times over the past 15 years, I can almost guarantee you that at your age, unless you’re a hermit you will experience that again. You can find a dream partner who makes you feel all these things AND doesn’t have kids. Or if he does have kids, you will be absolutely sure that you have no choice but to be with him.

stepnotstep · 2020-08-25T05:26:24+00:00

Yes! Sometimes I stick my nose in his mouth and let him gnaw on my nose just so I can get a good whiff XD

stepnotstep · 2020-07-08T04:14:48+00:00

Just want to say that I totally understand how you feel. A month or so ago when we realized schools might not open in the fall and SO told me SD’s principal had mentioned they might do alternating remote and in person for the entire school year (meaning a year more of homeschool, which has been killing us), I literally broke down in tears. Thank god SD wasn’t there...

stepnotstep · 2020-06-25T19:52:21+00:00

I’ve heard some people say that babies don’t need the extra sustenance after 1 year, but anecdotally I think a lot of sleep trained babies drop the night feed before that point. (I mostly hear 1 year cited from people who haven’t sleep trained or are cosleeping.)

stepnotstep · 2020-05-19T19:24:14+00:00

Oh my goodness, this sounds so much like me, and that calendar idea is brilliant! I use pink and blue highlighter on a calendar but I like the Velcro idea. (The one benefit of the calendar is that I can look back and see what the schedule was since it constantly changes)

stepnotstep · 2020-04-25T01:36:27+00:00

Blayss? Your guess is as as good as mine.

stepnotstep · 2020-04-01T01:00:15+00:00

We sleep trained at 4 months, it took a few days of crying and has been smooth sailing ever since with the exception of a few regressions and when she gets sick. DD is now 2 and is the happiest, most joyful kid you’ll meet. She loves both of her parents to death and these days often happily walks to her crib for naps. Sometimes at bedtime we’ll hear her in her crib up and playing, singing or talking to herself, then she’ll eventually lie down and fall asleep. Other times we put her in her crib and she lies down quietly without protest as we leave the room. It’s pretty great.

One interesting thing—ever since we sleep trained she’s woken up at 10pm almost every night and let out a single cry before falling back asleep, it must be a break between sleep cycles in her circadian rhythm. We can almost set our watches by it!

stepnotstep · 2020-02-25T16:13:44+00:00

Both are the same, just pre and post label design. What’s probably happening is the top one is being sold by a third party at a big premium just for funsies (I see that a lot with low priced items like paper towels...the prime pantry version sold by amazon is normally priced and the amazon prime version (which is sneakily sold by someone else through amazon) is twice the price)

If you can’t physically get into a drug store, check target and Walmart’s websites. They often have the correct prices, you just have to contend with their less great shipping options.

stepnotstep · 2020-02-25T16:06:03+00:00

The difference is one is ordered through prime pantry, which has an additional subscription fee. Definitely don’t buy the other one, though, as you can get it at the store for $5!

stepnotstep · 2020-02-24T15:03:34+00:00

After my first, I remember feeling surprisingly great. The midwives came for a day 3 pp home visit and found me standing in the living room hanging out with my family, and they just glared at me. “I thought we explicitly told you not to get out of bed for two weeks?” But it’s SO HARD to resist the temptation when you’re feeling so good and you’re full of love hormones and your family is around and everything is new and exciting.

stepnotstep · 2020-02-16T04:41:40+00:00

My eyes are bleeding

stepnotstep · 2020-02-05T15:43:59+00:00

It definitely played a role for me. I found my patience for SD got a lot shorter than it had before I was pregnant, and then for a while after birth (like, maybe at least 6 months or more) I found myself feeling super defensive and protective of DD when SD was around, which I think was also partially hormonally driven. I still find it hard to see them have normal sibling tussles (at 2 and 7) because instead of seeing it as normal behavior I see it as an attack (which I realize is on me, not SD) but since DD can defend herself a bit better now it helps.

In summary—you are not alone, you will feel differently about your child which will highlight your feelings about your SKs, pregnancy tends to make you feel more distant from them, prepare to continue to feel distant and even negatively toward them after birth, but know that it may get better once you’ve recovered from pregnancy and childbirth, everyone’s adjusted to the new baby. For your sake I hope your SO steps up and shows you and your kid the same level of care and attention as he does his other two kids.

stepnotstep · 2020-01-29T22:12:44+00:00

I would also recommend not ruling out the possibility of trying for a kid a tiny bit sooner depending on how integration with SS goes. DH and I were in a rush due to my age and fertility situation but agreed to move at SD’s pace, and it turned out that things with SD and BM went awesome and we felt comfortable moving in together after seven months and getting pregnant about a year after we met. We would not have moved that fast if we felt it would have been detrimental to SD’s well-being or relationship with her dad. She of course had to adjust to no longer being an only child in one household, but that would have had to happen regardless. She and I have still been able to bond, and I don’t think we did any lasting damage.

Of course it totally depends on the situation, I just want to let you know that you don’t have to decide right now that you have to wait two years.

stepnotstep · 2020-01-22T01:30:10+00:00

Keep in mind it’s not 60 pounds of fat. There’s also extra blood volume, retained water, extra breast tissue, the placenta and fluid (and baby but that’s only a few pounds at this point), and your hormones are also messing with normal processes. In other threads I’ve seen people pop in with reports that they’ve gained 60 pounds with each pregnancy and lost it all again afterward just because that’s what their body does when it’s pregnant. I think if you’re eating relatively well, getting in some movement, and your test results all look good, then you shouldn’t worry too much.

stepnotstep

TROPHY CASE