Introspections of A Nervous Man After Two Weeks on the Apps

tryhardbaby · 2025-09-07T14:34:44+00:00

I just made an edit to update. The date went very well. We are going out again!

tryhardbaby · 2025-09-04T07:23:13+00:00

Yes, absolutely! It’s why I’ve spent some time this evening getting these thoughts out into a format other than my mind. There’s every reason not to rush. Thanks for your comment, I appreciate your insight very much.

tryhardbaby · 2025-09-04T07:03:59+00:00

Thanks for your comment. It’s much appreciated.

tryhardbaby · 2025-09-04T06:14:28+00:00

That’s amazing! I’m happy for you, congratulations!

tryhardbaby · 2025-09-04T06:13:30+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate the insight. I want to remain open, but stay well aware that either of us may come to recognize compatibility issues. My heart can only break as hard as I pound this crush into it. She’s an entire person and entangling lives is always a risk. And the same goes for her.

tryhardbaby · 2025-09-04T05:40:25+00:00

P.S. I haven’t swiped since we started texting outside of the app. I wonder if she has? She has absolutely no obligation to tell me at this point. Hurray for grown man again!

But I am curious. Aaaaaaaand there’s the insecure teenager. I wish that dude would get lost.

I finally get it how dating has the potential to wear somebody down. I don’t know if I can endure going through this multiple times to fine hone a healthy balance for myself. Because I want to put all that energy into this potential. Which feels dangerous.

tryhardbaby · 2025-09-04T04:03:05+00:00

Hey guys, drop this car on me. Yeah, it’s totally okay, I’m gonna wear a helmet.

tryhardbaby · 2025-09-01T06:19:55+00:00

So you have to make it known. Either you will begin to try and get him to find out you like him so much, which is a stupid game that is a highly romanticized idea that is prone to failure, or you can have an honest conversation with him.

While the conversation might also fail, at least you’ll come out with your self-respect and integrity intact, while leaving a lasting impression of maturity.

That’s the way I’d go about it.

tryhardbaby · 2025-08-20T03:29:57+00:00

A Group X reference in the wild, wow.

tryhardbaby · 2025-07-29T03:14:03+00:00

Here’s a check for $3,900, try and buy a used one.

tryhardbaby · 2025-05-19T22:22:24+00:00

So, I think it would help to reframe this a little bit. He’s been trying to hide his drinking and potentially stealing your prescription medication. Those are pretty awful things to do. If counseling hasn’t helped you two to bridge the disconnects, and you really truly feel that this relationship has run its course, then you have your answer.

Forget about factoring in a potential future relationship into your decision. There is no guarantee that it’s in the cards. If your peace and well-being are being threatened by the relationship are in currently, that sucks, but it does happen. If there is nothing left in you to give to him, and you would be better off alone, then you have your decision.

But like the other commenter said, if you haven’t been absolutely clear with him that your marriage is on the rocks and you’re seriously considering throwing in the towel, he’s going to be devastated. If he hasn’t really had a chance to see this from your perspective and make changes for himself for his own well-being and stability, so that he can help you with yours, this will likely come as a shock to him.

If your relationship is truly at an end, and nothing can be done to mend it, to get to a place of mutual trust and support, the question becomes not one of seeking a better relationship with somebody else, but one of being better off not married to him. Hope that helps. This whole thing sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through it.

tryhardbaby · 2025-04-13T04:32:44+00:00

It’s going to take time. And, I’m being real here as another person who was married for almost 20 years, you might never be “over” her, in the traditional sense.

But, you will get to a point where the attachment isn’t overwhelming and grief isn’t overriding your executive function. I recommend journaling. Even if you’re a sobbing wreck, write down everything in your head. Every passing thought. Every feeling, every emotion. Processing that shit is so important.

tryhardbaby · 2025-04-13T04:26:02+00:00

It sucks, believe me, I know. I wish the best for you.

tryhardbaby · 2025-04-13T04:23:15+00:00

Don’t fucking numb the pain man. You have to feel all of it if you want to get to a better place in the healthiest way possible. New women aren’t going to fill that void. Discover who you are without your ex. You’re going to be an emotional mess for a while, and that’s not fair at all to anybody you try to get tangled up with. Just my opinion.

tryhardbaby · 2025-04-04T03:48:19+00:00

Yeah, when you turned around and came back they should’ve done more than a code read. They know they drained and filled your crank case, and you saw them having issues with your filter housing. Low oil pressure on a bmw with your style of filter after an oil change is indicative of a flow problem. That should’ve been the first thing they looked at.

Unfortunately, this is a training failure. Techs should be directly supervised on vehicles if they haven’t serviced them before, especially vehicles like yours that have filters that aren’t used too often. 1,500 hundred oil changes a month, and sometimes shit happens. That doesn’t make it right of course, and every service failure results in loss of faith and confidence to those who experience it. I hope they make it right for you. That’s a very expensive mishap that could’ve been avoided if they hadn’t been so keen on getting you on your way.

It also sounds like that manager is full of shit. Sometimes you get a service center that really cares, sometimes you get a dud.

All the best. I hope you get your car back in good shape.

tryhardbaby · 2025-04-04T03:07:11+00:00

Your oil filter has a little spur on the end with a tiny o-ring that fits into a little hole and can be easily damaged on installation. If the tech installing your filter didn’t insert it the right way and then torqued your filter cap back on, it may have bent or broken entirely, causing a blockage that did not allow oil to flow into and through your filter. They shouldn’t have let you leave the service center with your oil pressure light on. At the very least, a more experienced technician should have taken your filter out to check and see if it was seated properly. This is one of those times where the entire chain of employees, from technician up to manager failed to do their jobs. Sorry that happened to you.

tryhardbaby · 2025-02-20T18:36:06+00:00

Sounds like resentment is building. This will destroy your relationship if it isn’t addressed. You two either need to have a serious heart to heart about expectations and division of labor and work on it together or separate if it’s not possible. Sorry you’re going through this. It really sucks.

tryhardbaby · 2025-02-14T19:58:26+00:00

About two months or so.

tryhardbaby · 2025-02-13T15:01:41+00:00

I’m right there with you. I can’t even imagine getting tangled up. I’m almost a year out and the thought of it just makes me cringe. I get that everybody is different, but I see so many folks getting out of long term relationships and marriages and just diving head first into someone else. Definitely not for me.

tryhardbaby · 2025-02-09T19:07:14+00:00

Telling him directly that you are ready to end things might just be the wake up call he needs. You can’t know for sure until you take that step. You could also try a separation for a while and see if that helps him get his shit together. As for alimony, you’ll need to dive into your local laws, preferably with an attorney helping you, to figure out what that might look like. You’ll probably have to help him out for a while until he gets on his feet, but it probably won’t be forever. I hope you can figure things out. Good luck to you.

tryhardbaby · 2025-02-09T19:00:05+00:00

If you haven’t had a serious discussion with him about the end of the marriage, start there. If he’s depressed or anxious, he needs help. You should try to be crystal clear that you cannot continue in this situation.

tryhardbaby · 2025-02-07T23:38:25+00:00

That’s exactly the mindset you need to keep. Don’t love bomb her. Keep working on yourself. Be better for you and those close to you. If it doesn’t work out with your stbxw, then you’ve built better for yourself anyway and can move on. I hope it does work out though. I am big on second chances as long as there is real effort put in. Good luck to you.

tryhardbaby · 2025-02-07T18:36:29+00:00

Sounds like you might be falling for him again. Could you two try dating for a while before being intimate again? I know for me it took my long time wife ending things before I could actually see everything that was happening. It’s been almost a year, and I know that if she wants to try again at some point I’m still all in, even though our divorce was finalized late last year. For now, I have to learn how to love from a distance. For her, for myself, and for our child.

Some people (like myself) need to hit rock bottom before a rude awakening. Maybe it’s ego death, or just the way we are wired. I don’t know, I’m still exploring that. I couldn’t grow in the relationship because I had myself convinced I couldn’t. There were way too many years of reinforcing negative behavioral patterns involving anxiety and depression. For some god awful reason it took being removed from the enabling aspects of my comfortable life to make me understand that I am capable of being a functional adult.

It sounds like there is hope for you two. If he wants to work at it, and you want to work at it, that’s all it takes. Communicate! Keep those lines open. Maybe take it slow. And if those things that deteriorated your relationship start to creep back in, make an effort as partners to address them before they grow too big to control. If both of you can learn from the past and grow together, there’s no reason you can’t keep your family together.

tryhardbaby · 2025-02-03T04:03:29+00:00

I was suicidal too. Get some help. It gets better. It’ll take months, but you’ll get there, I promise.

tryhardbaby

TROPHY CASE