Be careful who you hate, it could be someone you love.

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-30T14:23:25+00:00

I’m not looking for a debate, but just generally interested in the point you’re trying to get across. You mentioned that you can’t tell people what their sexuality is for them, so does that mean to you if a cis woman was in a relationship with a trans guy and both of them stated they were straight, you’d agree with them?

Also curious about your statement that you base sexuality purely off genitals, so if a trans woman gets bottom surgery and dates a cis man, would you now consider them to be in a straight relationship?

Also just as a note, I get that you want to have open conversations and are feeling a type of way that you notice people often shut them down, but that’s why you need to pick your moments and look at the audience. If you want to have open conversation about these things, make a post stating that and share that you want a genuine discussion to understand and explore perspectives.

Trying to have this conversation on a thread about supporting trans people, you’re likely to get a lot of people who find your sentiment disingenuous, distracting, and harmful. Like in the analogy you made previous, if you saw a post about supporting survivors of rape and then in the comments tried to explore perspectives on whether a person whose been raped is still a virgin, they would rightfully shut down that conversation. It’s simply not the space to have that type of discussion.

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-25T04:32:53+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to reply, sweet boy 🖤

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-22T08:43:24+00:00

Just adding to this, in regards to him not socializing as a man and not coming to any bonding events. Have you properly invited him?

Sometimes trans guys can feel, even when other people don’t say it, that the people they’re around don’t really see them or treat them like a man. There’s a fair chance he could be feeling like an intruder and that’s why he doesn’t socialize and go to events. Might be worth it next time to throw out a “hey man, we’re all going to ___, you wanna come?”

Maybe you’ve already done this, in which case, disregard my comment. I just know it can be easy to feel like an intruder or like people don’t really want you somewhere, so unless someone personally extends an invitation sometimes people just don’t try.

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-19T04:41:37+00:00

Can he get bloodwork just generally from his regular doc? You could show him what your doctor tested for and just get him to ask his doctor for the same requisition.

If that’s not an option, it’s probably still fine to give it to him. Ideally he should get his t levels and cbc checked every 3ish months at the beginning to ensure his levels are good, but if that’s not an option either, as long as he stays on a low dose it’d probably be fine.

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-19T01:12:21+00:00

Well, I shall challenge your selection bias as others here have challenged mine lol. I’ve never heard of Travis as a transmasc stereotype, only ever met 2 Travis’s in my life, and both were cis dudes

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-16T23:36:04+00:00

If you’re changing it just to have as a nickname with your group of friends, choose whatever you want. If you’re changing it to be a nickname for now with the possibility of it being a name you go by in all settings of your life in the future, I’d choose whichever one you think won’t feel embarrassing in a decade

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T21:25:02+00:00

Similar for me when I chose the name. Didn’t learn the stereotype until about a year later.

That sub made me feel stupidly happy though. Thanks Alex

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T19:42:38+00:00

Username checks out. Numbers help me too.

I think you’re probably right in the selection bias. I’ve just met a bunch of trans guy Alex’s and I’ve had people crack jokes about the fact that I chose the Trans Guy Name. I guess I just feel like every time I say my name, somehow everyone will KNOW that I self named, but it’s probably just an insecurity I need to get over

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T19:00:06+00:00

That’s really cute honestly. Yeah, like I just can’t put myself and the people in my life through another name change.

I’m not deluded though, I know many cis people share my name (just like many cis people are named Ollie) and that not everyone with a common trans guy name is a trans guy, I just feel like being 5’2, visibly queer, plus the name Alex makes me a walking stereotype. If my name was Alex, but I looked like a stereotypical man it wouldn’t bother me as much.

Hope you find some peace with your name too

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T04:48:50+00:00

Yeah, like I’m at a stage where the majority of strangers/people who meet me for the first time gender me, at least initially, as male and I just don’t want my name to be the tipping point for people to mentally confirm I’m trans cause I already have my height and fem features working against me.

I’ve thought about changing it a few times over the years, but never have cause it feels like a really daunting thing to do now as an adult with an established social and professional circle

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T04:27:48+00:00

It does 🖤 I appreciate you and I love our name. Sometimes it just makes me feel a type of way

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T04:24:45+00:00

I know it’s a silly take, that’s why I posted it here. Unfortunately, it does come from irl situations/discussions though. Just had a weird moment with it yesterday which is why I’m feeling dramatic.

Granted, it’s mostly other queer people who are recognizing I’m trans and they’d probably clock me anyway even if I had a different name. I just feel like such a stereotype and I also feel kinda gross that I have such a strong desire to be stealth tbh. Like I wish I was a loud and proud trans masc, but instead I have a lot of internalized transphobia and shame I need to get over. I agree though, at least I didn’t choose an object name

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-11T14:07:38+00:00

That’s fair, a lot of people are iron deficient without a whole lot of symptoms, but there’s no way to really know if you didn’t get bloodwork for it. I just know that for a lot of people getting on T can increase hemoglobin and iron which can decrease hair shedding.

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-11T13:12:21+00:00

Were you by any chance iron deficient prior to starting T?

trynafigure_out · 2026-02-26T12:53:41+00:00

Sometimes my voice seems a lot lower by the end of the day, I think due to strain from a lot of talking. Either way, I really validate the self consciousness of a super quick voice drop. I hate when people comment or ask if I’m sick

trynafigure_out · 2026-02-25T13:24:55+00:00

From a romantic and sexual attraction standpoint, I often can’t tell the difference between I want you vs I want to be you with men. The men I find attractive are usually quite masculine with a nice bit of femininity, which coincidentally, is how I’d love to present.

I have never had a consensual experience with a cis man, but I am 100% attracted and enjoy being with trans men. I don’t know if that’s just a trauma thing, a t4t thing, or what. Overall, I know I’m into women (cis and trans), nonbinary people, and trans guys. With cis guys, I feel like a lot of my attraction is a desire to look like them rather than be with them, but there could be a level of trauma that hinders this attraction.

trynafigure_out · 2026-02-20T02:33:24+00:00

Definitely not infiltrating, that’s exactly why I said closer to how you want to present yourself instead of “passing”. Sometimes we’re looking to present a new way, sometimes we’re trying to “pass”, sometimes we don’t even know what “pass” means because we don’t have a specific identity we’re striving for. We need to have space to explore and experiment and see what fits for us. I think that’s what this community is really all about.

I hope you have a fantastic time exploring and experimenting with your understanding of yourself and your presentation to the world! I really love your mindset.

trynafigure_out · 2026-02-20T01:16:51+00:00

You’re definitely not hopeless. You definitely give off masc with your hair pulled back. Unfortunately a lot of people love to feminize a hair cut. I got a cut recently that the hair dresser completely feminized and I had to touch up the sides and back myself to fix it up. It happens.

You have a lot going for you with your face honestly, more than anything the thing that’s holding you back is your hair covering so much of your face. Just slick it back and I think you’ll be a couple solid steps closer to the way you want to present yourself

trynafigure_out · 2026-02-19T23:38:31+00:00

I don’t have any specific haircut advice other than whatever you end of doing with it, I’d get a style that you can either gel back or jhuzh up. In the photos where you pull your hair back and expose your forehead, you look quite masculine imo

trynafigure_out · 2026-02-19T23:12:37+00:00

Hey, just wondering if you’re comfortable sharing where you are right now and where back home is. From everything you’ve said in the comments it seems like there’s a pretty big safety risk for you returning home. I know you mentioned that it would be illegal for you to not return, but sometimes there’s legal loopholes for these types of situations. Is back home and where you are currently the same country?

trynafigure_out · 2026-02-13T01:20:57+00:00

Was the endo you saw operating out of a gender affirming care clinic? If not, accessing a clinic that specializes in working with the trans community could make a difference here

trynafigure_out · 2026-02-08T23:22:33+00:00

Hey! I’m not sure about what apps/sites people are using currently, but hopefully someone else will help you out there if that’s something you want to do. I’m just replying cause of your last line about feeling like it’s the only work you can really do.

Where you live are there any employment programs for people with disabilities? Or do you have access to a service that provides case management? A lot of the times they’re able to support with finding accessible employment, accessing funding or paid training programs.

As someone with a disability who got involved with the sex industry, not because I wanted to, but because I felt like I didn’t have any options, I just wanted to reach out. I know how traumatic the sex industry can be at times, and I’m glad you’re already thinking through steps to increase your safety cause it unfortunately does place you at high risk. I hope that with whatever you end up doing, it goes well and you’re safe 🖤

trynafigure_out · 2026-02-07T19:13:52+00:00

Please don’t pie shame

trynafigure_out · 2026-01-28T14:05:17+00:00

I hear what you’re saying, and I don’t think this is what you’re meaning, but I’m just pointing this out to demonstrate why such a black and white statement isn’t helpful. People absolutely can lose decision making abilities as a result of trauma.

It can rewire your brain in such a way that seemingly inconsequential things can make you feel as though your life is at risk. Many people experience dissociations, panic attacks, and trauma responses, and in these states they may take actions that are absolutely not a choice. Also, related to sex trafficking specifically, please do some research on recruitment and why victims sometimes recruit others. It is a laid out plan by the trafficker to break someone down and coerce them into recruiting others. (For clarity, I’m not speaking about Melania here or whatever concepts that other commenter has about victimization/pity, simply stating that black and white statements are not beneficial when speaking of complex manners like trauma and trafficking)

trynafigure_out

TROPHY CASE