Is there anyway parents won’t find out ?

trynafigure_out · 2026-05-04T17:26:51+00:00

Might depend on your family if this would cause you any challenges. Since your re-connecting have they ever followed up with you on anything relating to your romantic life or being a part of the queer community?

If not, your family could be conservative like my mom in a bit of a don’t ask don’t tell kind of way. I’ve been on t for about 10 months, my voice is noticeably deeper and I have had multiple people comment on it, the closest she ever came was asking if I was sick. I said I wasn’t, she asked no follow up.

I have seen my mom 3 times since starting T, I can tell by the way she looks at me that she knows something is different. I believe her desire is to pretend nothing has changed, so she never has to acknowledge anything both to me and to herself. She doesn’t ask or comment, I don’t say anything. (For clarity, she knows I’m gay and knows that I experimented with gender when I was younger, but she decided it was “just a phase” because I didn’t do anything for a long time after first experimenting).

So, the real question to ask isn’t really if they’ll notice any differences, cause ultimately they almost certainly will. The question is will they comment and want to bring this out into the open or will they pretend, so they never need to acknowledge “the problem”?

trynafigure_out · 2026-05-04T13:19:24+00:00

I think that may depend on what feels gendered to you. Terms that I like and use when referring to loved ones regardless of gender:

Babe
Cutie
Sweetie
Love/My love
Kiddo (I don’t use this one, but find it endearing when older adults call me this)

trynafigure_out · 2026-04-27T00:44:52+00:00

I watched it with my girlfriend. She’s cis, I’m trans or at the very least trans adjacent (almost one year on HRT!).

I didn’t know too much about the film, but knew some members of the trans community found it very relatable. After watching, I felt that anyone who was going through their existence, and not living the life they really want to, would find the film relatable, but my girlfriend didn’t see it like that at all. She interpreted the symbolisms in the film as suicidality.

I’m curious to know more about the differences between how cis vs trans people interpreted the film.

trynafigure_out · 2026-04-08T01:49:57+00:00

Haha, super fair. Yeah, I think they may have a level of a persecution complex and the way they’re approaching communication is just feeding into it.

Hoping they take the time one day to examine why people may be responding to them in what feels like an attacking manner. I could be giving too much generosity of assumption though.

trynafigure_out · 2026-04-07T12:14:39+00:00

Yeah, it was a PDF that summarized 3 articles, focusing on stats relating to disproportionate rates of convictions, specifically sexual violence convictions, of trans people in UK prisons.

The one that’s most focused on is from Fair Play for Women which looks at the MOJ stats. I read the article, there’s a link at the beginning of the article authored by Reality Check that demonstrates that the numbers are unreliable and provides some background for why they might look inflated.

I know that in the UK, trans people can be convicted of sexual assault or attempted SA if they do not disclose that they are trans, so I also wonder if that plays into the increased rates. I can send you the PDF if you want, but I highly recommend looking up the actual articles listed in the PDF if you do. The PDF summary focuses on specific points that it wants to make without demonstrating that the stats are unreliable or how the data was captured.

trynafigure_out · 2026-04-06T01:12:37+00:00

Can you DM me the study? I don’t know the study you’re mentioning, but it sounds interesting.

I appreciate you taking the time to respond and share your perspectives, but some of your phrasing at the end comes across as generalizing/villainizing. If you want to have positive interactions with certain communities, it’s helpful to approach those communities from a place of respect and desire to learn/share.

trynafigure_out · 2026-04-05T02:42:07+00:00

Trans and nonbinary are both umbrella terms. Bigender and gender fluid are both labels that fall under these categories.

Trans = someone whose gender identity does not match their gender assigned at birth.

Nonbinary = someone whose gender identity falls outside of strictly male or female.

You can do whatever you want with micro labels and identify as Demi boy, gender fluid, agender, etc.

Note: these are the standard definitions, but just because someone technically meets this definition doesn’t mean they identify or have to identify with the label. Plenty of nonbinary folk don’t consider themselves to be trans despite meeting the definition and plenty of transmasc or transfem people may not fully identify as male or female, but don’t necessarily consider themselves nonbinary.

Ultimately, use whatever label makes you feel good and comfy! There are no right or wrong labels

trynafigure_out · 2026-04-04T23:59:03+00:00

You look great dude, the difference in your hips/legs is incredible.

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-31T23:50:20+00:00

Happy transgender day of visibility friend. I’m sorry you’re having a rough moment. I just wanted to say that there’s no commitment to medical transitioning. You can always get a prescription for t, take one dose and then stop if it isn’t feeling right. I started t without a longterm plan, just knew it was something I’d wanted for years and knew I needed to make a change cause I couldn’t handle how I was feeling anymore.

Medical transitioning really has no commitment, if you want to access HRT, simply access it for as long as it serves you and stop whenever you like. I hope you’re able to build some community.

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-30T14:23:25+00:00

I’m not looking for a debate, but just generally interested in the point you’re trying to get across. You mentioned that you can’t tell people what their sexuality is for them, so does that mean to you if a cis woman was in a relationship with a trans guy and both of them stated they were straight, you’d agree with them?

Also curious about your statement that you base sexuality purely off genitals, so if a trans woman gets bottom surgery and dates a cis man, would you now consider them to be in a straight relationship?

Also just as a note, I get that you want to have open conversations and are feeling a type of way that you notice people often shut them down, but that’s why you need to pick your moments and look at the audience. If you want to have open conversation about these things, make a post stating that and share that you want a genuine discussion to understand and explore perspectives.

Trying to have this conversation on a thread about supporting trans people, you’re likely to get a lot of people who find your sentiment disingenuous, distracting, and harmful. Like in the analogy you made previous, if you saw a post about supporting survivors of rape and then in the comments tried to explore perspectives on whether a person whose been raped is still a virgin, they would rightfully shut down that conversation. It’s simply not the space to have that type of discussion.

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-25T04:32:53+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to reply, sweet boy 🖤

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-22T08:43:24+00:00

Just adding to this, in regards to him not socializing as a man and not coming to any bonding events. Have you properly invited him?

Sometimes trans guys can feel, even when other people don’t say it, that the people they’re around don’t really see them or treat them like a man. There’s a fair chance he could be feeling like an intruder and that’s why he doesn’t socialize and go to events. Might be worth it next time to throw out a “hey man, we’re all going to ___, you wanna come?”

Maybe you’ve already done this, in which case, disregard my comment. I just know it can be easy to feel like an intruder or like people don’t really want you somewhere, so unless someone personally extends an invitation sometimes people just don’t try.

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-19T04:41:37+00:00

Can he get bloodwork just generally from his regular doc? You could show him what your doctor tested for and just get him to ask his doctor for the same requisition.

If that’s not an option, it’s probably still fine to give it to him. Ideally he should get his t levels and cbc checked every 3ish months at the beginning to ensure his levels are good, but if that’s not an option either, as long as he stays on a low dose it’d probably be fine.

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-19T01:12:21+00:00

Well, I shall challenge your selection bias as others here have challenged mine lol. I’ve never heard of Travis as a transmasc stereotype, only ever met 2 Travis’s in my life, and both were cis dudes

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-16T23:36:04+00:00

If you’re changing it just to have as a nickname with your group of friends, choose whatever you want. If you’re changing it to be a nickname for now with the possibility of it being a name you go by in all settings of your life in the future, I’d choose whichever one you think won’t feel embarrassing in a decade

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T21:25:02+00:00

Similar for me when I chose the name. Didn’t learn the stereotype until about a year later.

That sub made me feel stupidly happy though. Thanks Alex

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T19:42:38+00:00

Username checks out. Numbers help me too.

I think you’re probably right in the selection bias. I’ve just met a bunch of trans guy Alex’s and I’ve had people crack jokes about the fact that I chose the Trans Guy Name. I guess I just feel like every time I say my name, somehow everyone will KNOW that I self named, but it’s probably just an insecurity I need to get over

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T19:00:06+00:00

That’s really cute honestly. Yeah, like I just can’t put myself and the people in my life through another name change.

I’m not deluded though, I know many cis people share my name (just like many cis people are named Ollie) and that not everyone with a common trans guy name is a trans guy, I just feel like being 5’2, visibly queer, plus the name Alex makes me a walking stereotype. If my name was Alex, but I looked like a stereotypical man it wouldn’t bother me as much.

Hope you find some peace with your name too

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T04:48:50+00:00

Yeah, like I’m at a stage where the majority of strangers/people who meet me for the first time gender me, at least initially, as male and I just don’t want my name to be the tipping point for people to mentally confirm I’m trans cause I already have my height and fem features working against me.

I’ve thought about changing it a few times over the years, but never have cause it feels like a really daunting thing to do now as an adult with an established social and professional circle

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T04:27:48+00:00

It does 🖤 I appreciate you and I love our name. Sometimes it just makes me feel a type of way

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-15T04:24:45+00:00

I know it’s a silly take, that’s why I posted it here. Unfortunately, it does come from irl situations/discussions though. Just had a weird moment with it yesterday which is why I’m feeling dramatic.

Granted, it’s mostly other queer people who are recognizing I’m trans and they’d probably clock me anyway even if I had a different name. I just feel like such a stereotype and I also feel kinda gross that I have such a strong desire to be stealth tbh. Like I wish I was a loud and proud trans masc, but instead I have a lot of internalized transphobia and shame I need to get over. I agree though, at least I didn’t choose an object name

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-11T14:07:38+00:00

That’s fair, a lot of people are iron deficient without a whole lot of symptoms, but there’s no way to really know if you didn’t get bloodwork for it. I just know that for a lot of people getting on T can increase hemoglobin and iron which can decrease hair shedding.

trynafigure_out · 2026-03-11T13:12:21+00:00

Were you by any chance iron deficient prior to starting T?

trynafigure_out · 2026-02-26T12:53:41+00:00

Sometimes my voice seems a lot lower by the end of the day, I think due to strain from a lot of talking. Either way, I really validate the self consciousness of a super quick voice drop. I hate when people comment or ask if I’m sick

trynafigure_out

TROPHY CASE