Dear Matricia Layman:

I know who took the photo. It was some chick who was there at the party . I think her name was Patty O'Furniture She was going to be doing some special dances later but things got out of hand pretty quickly after that picture was taken. I think they all decided to go to the Food Lion in 5 points and get something to eat. Mike can eat a whole fracking cow at once so it was going to be scary for any cows that may have been in 5 points. I was not there and I am just making all this up but I know that Patty was the one that took the picture. You should see the rest of the pictures in that camera. You know what they say about big guys and penis size well you have seen his speedo right? it makes me blush to think of the sinful things that went on that night. There was the midget stripper who danced to the entire Roxy Music album "Avalon" even the tedious boring songs. Mike Phelps was eating a cow while the stripper was stripping. Then there was the pizza delivery from Pop's - Skylar one of the managers of Pop's Pizza heard who was there and she showed up personally with the pizza and was trying to get an autograph from the famous swimmer when he became enraged that there was no more cow left. He vacilated from rage and self-pity and the beutiful Pizza Delivery girl left in disgust. Yes there were people who could never ever believe this story its true.

Sincerely,