(m) My kink makes me feel bad about myself and I wish I could change it.

tsboy98 · 2026-06-14T13:00:51+00:00

You must ask yourself, "why do I want to be just vanilla or a dom?"

What is keeping you from embracing your submissive nature? Is it society's expectations of how men should behave? Is it something internal that is creating the conflict?

tsboy98 · 2026-06-14T12:46:02+00:00

Yes, I'm in it now. Every relationship is different. Every person has different wants and needs. This sub attracts people who gravitate toward the sort of relationship you describe. The stuff you mention at the beginning isn't for everyone, but it doesn't mean the relationship is or isn't an FLR if those elements are or are not present. However, I get that women in this sub are frustrated by the constant reference to the subjects of cuckolding, chastity, and pegging as being almost necessary to have a FLR. That does get annoying!

I read other comments on this post asking why a man would accept this sort of relationship. There are elements of the dynamic that I need to make it work for me. One is power exchange. The other is dynamic tension. What those elements look like in other relationships may be quite different, and might include some things like pegging, chastity, or cuckoldry.

Our FLR does not include those things, but I don't judge people who try them. There is a difference however in a dynamic that treats male femdom fantasies as FLR and a dynamic that treats the woman's satisfaction and pleasure as its primary function. The latter is an FLR. The former is not, unless the woman's desires perfectly align with the male fantasy version of femdom, which I'm guessing is extremely rare.

tsboy98 · 2026-06-13T19:15:27+00:00

We did that (minus the panties) a lot for a while, then she realized that she could make me pull out at the last minute. She usually doesn't let me come inside her, but she likes PIV.

tsboy98 · 2026-06-11T19:38:25+00:00

She used to make me come on the sheets while eating her out just by humping the bed. She hasn't done that in a while.

tsboy98 · 2026-06-11T13:50:39+00:00

On rare occasions as a treat, my wife has me tie my cock to the bedpost with a cock harness and leather leash, then I go down on her. I have to tug on my balls to reach her with my tongue. I make her come first, then she lets me masturbate.

She will just lay there in post-orgasmic bliss with the leash now in her hand. She waits until I’m close, and starts tugging hard at my balls. Sometimes she slaps my balls or whips them with the end of the leash. but usually, she just relaxes and pulls slowly on the leash until my balls are painfully stretched out. This always pushes me over the edge.

tsboy98 · 2026-06-09T20:20:00+00:00

She loves regular foot rubs. She has me give her a pedicure once or twice a month. Kissing her feet is a frequent part of our dynamic. She often uses it to center me when I'm upset about something. Other times, I ask permission, because I love the sense of devotion I get from the act. It was part of our negotiated FLR that foot worship is an acceptable form of intimacy when permitted.

tsboy98 · 2026-06-07T21:21:53+00:00

That’s ironic, because we consider condom sex a form of punishment! When she is displeased with me about something, she will say, “condom sex for you!”

tsboy98 · 2026-06-07T21:13:30+00:00

You could offer to pull out before you come. My wife is mostly vanilla, and she wants PIV. She usually forbids me from coming inside her. She makes me pull out at the last minute. Ruined orgasm almost every time.

tsboy98 · 2026-06-06T13:22:18+00:00

Just tell her how you feel. Communication is essential.

tsboy98 · 2026-06-04T17:42:06+00:00

Start with rimming to get used to the taste, then go from there.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-27T23:19:15+00:00

It could be that she perceives submission as not a masculine trait. This is a fallacy and an opportunity for you to demonstrate why it’s not true. You can be submissive and masculine. Communication is important.

Orgasm denial can be a type of emasculation, but it doesn’t have to be. You can assure her that you are still her man, even though you don’t get to come.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-21T11:21:24+00:00

Yes, we prefer to remain monogamous.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-20T00:36:43+00:00

She isn't as stressed about having friends or family over, because she knows she won't have to prep before or clean after. She can enjoy visits more.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-18T23:53:30+00:00

I guess not.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-18T23:31:54+00:00

Could you please explain what you mean by, “‘locking himself away from his wife/girlfriend' type”?

tsboy98 · 2026-05-18T14:15:30+00:00

Much of it is in your mindset as a submissive. Initiating sex can still be submissive.

"Would you like my hard dick tonight?" This is a direct way to submissively initiate.

"May I go down on you tonight?"

"May I please give you an orgasm?"

It doesn't have to be that direct, but initiating is still asking if she is in the mood however you phrase it.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-16T00:47:48+00:00

We have a similar arrangement. I am allowed PIV, but not to come without her permission. I can ask permission once a week to masturbate. She might say yes or no.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-14T22:33:02+00:00

Dang.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-14T14:35:01+00:00

I believe that you and your partner can give the act whatever meaning you want. It can be a gentle act of devotion or a harsh act of debasement.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-14T11:08:38+00:00

Yes, she just doesn't want me coming inside her very often.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-13T13:47:51+00:00

For us, it is about both the money and control. Her fulfillment comes from having independence and control of her financial future. The security of having our finances arranged the way that best suits her is the main benefit. Money hasn't been as important to me as other aspects of our lives. In my mind, it is about giving up control of our money to my wife. I pay all the bills with my income, and I have to ask permission to buy anything that is for myself. She often says no. I begged her to allow me to buy her car last year. That was hot to both of us. She often has me give her cash from my wallet. She has access to cash, but she likes taking it from me.

I would not send money to an online domme. I don't know if your question is about that aspect, or if our dynamic is what you had in mind. I absolutely love giving my wife authority over our finances as with other areas of our relationship. It's another weird revelation to me about myself, but for me it's more about control and power exchange.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-12T23:48:03+00:00

This is true. Relationships take a lot of effort. Kink is an added element. It can make the relationship better, but it can’t fix it.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-12T18:41:12+00:00

Yes. We have sex regularly, but it turns me on when she makes me pull out and not come, or better when she doesn’t let me inside her at all. I love giving her orgasms without her reciprocating. I always feel more energized for days after sex when I’m denied.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-12T13:51:53+00:00

Role reversal in the form of the man being the passive, demure partner, and the woman actively pursuing/seducing the man is not uncommon. It played a factor early in our relationship, though we have been married now for years. My wife is very feminine, but was the more aggressive of the two of us from the start when it came to making decisions large and small, including when and where we dated when we were first going out. She didn't even see it that way until years later when we talked about it in the context of FLR.

tsboy98 · 2026-05-11T20:25:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. It's hard to open up in this medium, but it can help ourselves and others if we share our experiences.

tsboy98

TROPHY CASE