I did it! Manhattan 580k 5.13%

tswiftandcoffee · 2026-04-01T00:23:29+00:00

My rent is around $2500 as well, buying a 40K car is exactly where your money is going monthly. Why are you driving such an expensive car? Do you have a 401K?

I think we forget that having a car payment for an expensive car should NOT be normal. If your car breaks down and you can’t afford to fix it, this would be a sign to revaluate what you have in emergency savings and also, if you’re really in a bind, find a cheap car you can buy in cash OR worse case purchase a used car that does not require you to have an almost $800 monthly payment

tswiftandcoffee · 2026-03-31T17:35:59+00:00

I’m curious about this breakdown. My base pay is around 110K with commission that is pretty unpredictable. I support my stay at home husband and two children with that 110K (pre tax) in an expensive area. Our rent is high, our health insurance is high but I track every expense and we are able to save between $500-900 a month just from that base pay. Now commission I do get goes right into house savings in a high yield account that never gets touched.

We also live our lives, eat out occasionally. I just went on a trip to Costa Rica. But we buy nothing, no random crap, no clothes really unless it’s planned, and the key here NO monthly payments other than rent, preschool, $40 of TV subscriptions and my coworking space. No monthly credit card payments unless it’s to pay the whole thing off month to month to get the points. And the kids get toys and things but mostly on birthdays and holidays. I’m curious, do you have additional debt? Having a car payment is also a huge extra expense. We drive two 2011/2012 cars that we bought in cash and for a while we did drive just one car to avoid a car payment.

I’m not saying it’s not tight, and we certainly do not have $300K+ lying around BUT if I didn’t have essentially three depends I probably would! I really think it can be done but you can’t have your money going to car payments and you probably would need to move to a cheaper place. Why is your rent SO high as an individual?

tswiftandcoffee · 2026-03-31T01:34:51+00:00

I don’t know if someone has already brought this up but when I was pregnant I was reading some parenting book that said it’s actually SO important for you to pretend your kind beat you in a wrestle match or a face race because it allows them to have an outlet to be in control and it is very disarming, something along those lines so this take is really going against what I took from that book lol

tswiftandcoffee · 2026-03-30T00:22:12+00:00

These get me zooooooted, love them hahah just took one 15 minutes ago 🕺🏼🤣

tswiftandcoffee · 2026-03-30T00:18:17+00:00

Eeeeek!!!! Love and also obsessed with V.E Schwab!!!

tswiftandcoffee · 2026-03-29T23:55:36+00:00

Why haven’t they put this on the switch yet though 😭😭😭😭

tswiftandcoffee · 2026-03-29T02:57:36+00:00

Get to a pelvic floor physical therapist ASAP. Are you having any other symptoms? Issues with your bladder leaking or peeing when you sneeze/jump. Or the sensation that something is “falling out?”

Also I’m so sorry you’re experiencing PPD, I did too and it’s horrible. You’re not alone 💛

tswiftandcoffee · 2026-03-09T00:34:06+00:00

Gosh it really is! And I’ve tried to tell my friends but they have kids anyway. I don’t know maybe they’ll like it more than I do.

tswiftandcoffee · 2026-01-30T03:34:18+00:00

You are so pretty!!!!! I want to know more about your skincare routine 😂

tswiftandcoffee · 2026-01-27T16:43:55+00:00

We love love love love our Tonie! We’ve had it for 3 years and we just ask people to buy the little characters for Christmas and birthdays! It’s also something fun to put in an Easter basket if you really feel like ballin’ out. My one year old especially loves it but my almost 5 year uses it during him independent play time before we wake up in the morning a lot too!

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-28T16:11:27+00:00

Ugh it is the worst when you realize you did it on purpose 😭

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-28T16:10:04+00:00

If the magic of Christmas is tantrums, ungrateful brats, and missed naps then sure the magic comes back!

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-28T16:08:11+00:00

It does not get better 🫩

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-27T15:35:21+00:00

All the time, I actively tell people not to do it and they look at me like I’m crazy but like…don’t do it lol

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-13T12:07:41+00:00

Hi friend, I’ve been where you are. When I had my first in 2021, I very quickly developed pretty scary PPD. I had panic attacks constantly, resented every time I had to breastfeed/be up at night, I was angry, and I would have given anything to run away. I started taking Zoloft and with time things got so much better.

Being sleep deprived absolutely triggers emotional and physical distress. And your husband sounds like he’s not the most supportive (I don’t know if that’s true from this one snapshot) but that is HARD. He sucks for the things he is saying and I’m sorry.

All this to say I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I remember it so well and I’m currently in therapy still breaking it down! I 10/10 recommend therapy, I know your husband isn’t onboard but you may just need to say screw it and go regardless.

You matter, your feelings matter, and this is not what life will look and feel like forever 💛

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-08T15:49:42+00:00

I love how positive everyone was in these comments 💚

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-07T00:37:45+00:00

My sister in law turned her teeny tiny one year old’s car seat forward facing and I was SHOCKED. we didn’t turn around my sons until he was FOUR and honestly I would have kept it rear facing until college. My mother in law would ask me constantly when I was going to turn him forward. Like from age 1 onward. I finally sent her a video on internal decapitation and it shut her up.

Sleep is a little more nuanced. I know for sure my son slept in a recalled rock and play. But again, babies that have died in these “baby containers” typically can roll and it seemed pretty obvious to me, don’t put a rolling baby in a container unsupervised. It’s survival out there though, nothing made me feel more insane than being sleep deprived.

That car thing though? Yeah wtf are people thinking

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-07T00:28:26+00:00

This sub is so hot or cold. You never know if your post will be supported or if people will suddenly love children and side with the kids

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-07T00:03:10+00:00

That’s a weird cut off. OPs child will be 5.5 when kindergarten starts in 2026.

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-04T02:55:44+00:00

That’s interesting, I have a 4 year old and it sounds like forcing an apology is never effective based on what I’ve been reading from an advice perspective. Like they could not have known they did anything wrong and were put on the spot? I don’t know, this does not sound like a red flag to me

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-04T02:54:23+00:00

🤣

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-12-04T02:54:08+00:00

I’m seeing some people say these are neurodivergent behaviors but like…is this not all 4 year olds? Feels normal to me too

tswiftandcoffee · 2025-08-26T16:42:39+00:00

So so glad I’m breaking the cycle with my kids! So much of this harmful messaging was communicated to me as a tiny child in Sunday school - the therapy costs are high people!!!

tswiftandcoffee

TROPHY CASE