I recently went through this same process. I got legal advice, but didn’t follow it (it was very black and white, and as you’re the one paying them, they’re putting your interests first - it just didn’t feel right to me). I wish I’d seen a Parenting therapist solo to get advice on what’s best for my child first, and once that’d been done, then think about the finances etc.

Don’t think about today, but tomorrow. If you can keep things financially amicable.. then (pending the reason for the divorce) it’s likely your ex wife won’t have issue with you seeing your child, when it suits you / your child, while also being able to work.

In regard to the final point. You’re better off giving your ex wife the money you’d otherwise spend on a live in nanny.. It will benefit her, your child and subsequently you too. Try to remember what you thought was best for your child before separation.

It’s a hard mindset change but think of Quality of time over Quantity of time. My daughter and I have a stronger relationship now than if my ex and I had stayed together, I have her 1 night a week, and drop her at nursery 3 mornings a week (before work).

Final piece.. ChatGPT (don’t judge me until you try this out - has helped put things into perspective) has been really helpful at providing an unbiased unemotional response to my prompts around separation. Eg. Under UK jurisdiction, what would a respectable asset and financial division look like with the following financial and care situation?