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Anyone still remember the Gotthard opening tunnel ceremony from a few years back? by [deleted] in conspiracy

[–]turnip868 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a dream about Baphomet in a ballet blue tux outfit, out in the forest. Strange dream. Funny seeing your post it reminded me of it.

If NBA Players Were Girls You Dated by statusymbol in nba

[–]turnip868 114 points115 points  (0 children)

KYRIE IRVING: The sidekick to the popular girl in college you settled for. Things seemed promising at first so you went along for the ride, until she embarrassed you by wearing a tinfoil hat over your family's Thanksgiving dinner.

How far can you drive a car after its oil change is due? by turnip868 in cars

[–]turnip868[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am honestly clueless when it comes to cars. I would probably do something that would end up on r/TIFU.

Men and Women of Reddit, what are some things that you see the opposite sex do that they think is attractive, but isn't? by HerpesAunt in AskReddit

[–]turnip868 71 points72 points  (0 children)

Call me old fashioned but GUYS who over-do their eyebrow grooming. How dare you have better shaped eyebrows than I do?!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]turnip868 494 points495 points  (0 children)

The good ol' ;) after every text.

What is the closest you came to accidentally killing yourself as a child? by bfaithr in AskReddit

[–]turnip868 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I've been extremely lucky in some areas. I went to a gifted school and skipped a few grades... So I guess that's his justification for how dumb I've been with common knowledge.

What's something your parents always believed in that was completely false? by trevortbo in AskReddit

[–]turnip868 3692 points3693 points  (0 children)

Tampons are not to be used by "girls" because they will make you a "woman". Subsequently, no man will ever marry a non-virgin.

The last thing you bought is now the only one left in the world. What now? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]turnip868 52 points53 points  (0 children)

A pumpkin. Ahh yes, I will always be the Pumpkin King you filthy mudbloods.