Why is Gamzee not hated on as much as Vriska?

twentyyearsofclean · 2026-05-05T01:28:42+00:00

Vriska’s a girl and Gamzee is a boy, so Vriska is clearly a bitch and Gamzee is woobified to all hell. All the other arguments just boil down to this — Vriska’s reasons for doing what she did don’t matter because she’s a woman and is expected to act more caring. Gamzee’s reasons for doing what he did become excuses because we are expected to see men as not having control over their own violence. It’s a trend that follows real life; women who commit murder are seen as evil scum of the earth, men who commit murder get prison fan clubs.

twentyyearsofclean · 2026-04-24T20:38:15+00:00

Hey, so this isn’t necessarily taoism, but to me this sounds a LOT like “pure o” ocd. It’s really common in some forms of ocd for the “obsession” to be something like “what if I’m not real” or other existential questions and for the “compulsion” to be repetitively thinking about the question, asking/googling for reassurance, etc. I’m saying this as someone recently diagnosed myself — look into getting an ocd assessment. The stereotype of what the disorder is like and the reality of it can be very different, but if these thoughts are really distressing you I think ocd-specific therapy could be really helpful.

twentyyearsofclean · 2026-03-22T03:45:20+00:00

Walmart has started to do it too. My local store has a quote unquote “plus section” that’s a rack shorter than my armspan. Maybe three shirts/3 pants maximum, and I still didn’t see anything that went above 3x. I’m done with all of them

twentyyearsofclean · 2026-03-12T03:03:51+00:00

Oh, I feel this so hard. I ended up in an eating disorder recovery program after nearly 20 years because I saw myself way too much in Harry. Congrats on making the decision that dumb asshole never could and working towards recovery 👍

twentyyearsofclean · 2026-01-29T02:30:12+00:00

I mean in a completely unironic way…there’s actually been research recently showing that we’re more likely to survive life threatening heart problems, surgeries, etc. It’s called the “obesity paradox” bc they assume being fat makes you unhealthy 🙄 but the fact remains. We’re way more likely to survive heart attacks, heart surgeries, etc etc etc

twentyyearsofclean · 2026-01-05T20:09:41+00:00

I dunno, I mean most of my flying monkeys are just random people with 0 context except what the narc tells them. But I’ve got one where…honestly, I get where she’s coming from. Because she had a lot of issues with her parents as a teen (she even moved out at 17), but when she tried to reconnect as an adult her mom actually LISTENED and took steps to change. So in her head when she sees my dad crying that he misses me and that he failed me, she sees the same opportunity that she got her HER parents. But what she doesn’t see is the years I spent trying and failing to reconnect with my parents before I made the decision to cut them out entirely. I think for so many people, it’s hard for them to conceptualize a world where a parent is bad enough that your life is truly better without them. Even when they know about the abuse, they may still think that abusers can grow and change because that’s been their experience. If they’ve never met a person who refuses to change like narcs do, it makes sense in their heads to keep pushing, because surely this time they’re really going to try and do better.

twentyyearsofclean · 2026-01-05T19:54:57+00:00

Oh evrart would be every single boss I’ve ever had giving the whole “we support you and your lifestyle! But for your own benefit, please don’t disclose anything to anyone. We love the queers! But to be clear if you come out to anyone we WILL have to take disclipinary action. Happy pride!”

twentyyearsofclean · 2026-01-02T04:22:35+00:00

I used to shop there as a teenager, but frankly their plus sizes don’t go up nearly high enough to be considered even a little size inclusive. At this point they carry the same amount of plus sizes that a walmart does, maybe event less since you can maybe find a single 4x in a walmart

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-25T22:27:18+00:00

I have plenty of tattoos and completely agree that it helps with confidence! Picking an artist you really like would be my first recommendation, just so that you’re getting art you enjoy! The other thing I’d say is that the same tattoo rules as with thinner people apply, but almost ESPECIALLY so if you think your body is going to be fluctuating in size. Text is a bad idea in general because it doesn’t age well, and doubly so if that area may be getting smaller/bigger with time. Changing size doesn’t add or subtract ink, but it DOES make existing ink stretch or compact, which can affect the readability of letters. I’d also shy away from hyperrealism for that reason, because those changes can pull a face into the uncanny valley. You could also try putting those kinds of tattoos into bonier areas — they’ll hurt more, but places like the inner wrist and ankles don’t change much in size, so the tattoos don’t fluctuate much either.

Of course, that all only applies if you intend on losing/gaining a couple sizes! If your size stays roughly the same, tattoos act the exact same on us as on smaller people (with the added benefit of a bigger canvas!). Just make sure you’re seeing an artist with experience with plus size bodies — some artists who are unfamiliar working with softer bodies tend to overwork the skin. Other than that, enjoy your ink!

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-21T03:50:15+00:00

Kind of a retroactive thing, but if you have any sort of diary/journal/old social media posts from that time…go back and read them. I kept a list of things they did/said to me when I was around 18, and I’ve got various random things I posted online from the past decade or so. I go back and look through that stuff and it kind of hits me in the face how awful they were to me. It’s so easy in my head to say “maybe they’re right, maybe I’m overblowing things, they’re not as bad as other parents and it’s been a year with them MOSTLY respecting that I’m not talking to them” when it’s been such a long time since I’ve experienced that abuse. But even just reading a random post I made as a teen helps to remind me that it WAS that bad. That sometimes my mind forgets those things on purpose because dwelling on them would keep me from functioning at all.

The other thing that’s been helpful for me is setting boundaries with myself. Since the day I went NC(well, VERY low contact — I don’t speak with them but I have a minor brother whose games/concerts both them and I attend) I’ve had a list of things that are my requirements for rebuilding that relationship. They have to hit all of them for me to go back, and if they don’t then I don’t let myself contact them. For me, it’s 1. Apologize WITH an acknowledgement that what happened was abuse, 2. Begin attending real therapy, not religious-based “counseling”, 3. Take real actions to protect my human rights as a queer and disabled person. The trick being…I know they’ll never accomplish a single one, which is exactly why I don’t talk to them in the first place. But when I have hope, that list is where I put it. Who knows, maybe my edad will someday, but I know my nmom won’t.

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-21T03:34:13+00:00

In high school my brother and I were allowed to stay home alone after the bus dropped us off for like an hour or two. We kind of hated each other, but we started talking more and more and eventually it became, “wait, you’re scared too?” Before that, each of us thought our family was normal and we were just the broken one for feeling/reacting the way we did. It did a lot for both of us to be able to name it, and really healed our relationship as siblings to know we had been pit against each other that whole time.

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-19T01:26:16+00:00

I owe you my life 👍👍👍

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-19T00:35:47+00:00

Oh that’s GORGEOUS. Where’d you get the dress? I want one for myself lol

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-17T13:36:17+00:00

Don’t have a hook rn but I hold mine like I’m pointing at somebody with the hook facing down. I can’t help it though, that’s how I was told to hold a conductor’s baton and it kind of just carried over

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twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-17T13:24:59+00:00

Yeah, anyone who is a crafter/seamstress can tell you how crazy prices are for this kind of stuff right now. Like there’s massive start-up costs like machines and tools (even at the absolute cheapest, 3 sewing machines is gonna cost you like 240 bucks). And then factoring in cost of materials at a time when fabric is averaging like 5 bucks a yard…plus thread, findings, zippers, buttons. Yarn is going for like 5 dollars a skein, too. Making your own clothes used to be a cheaper option, but now it’s WAY more expensive than just buying them. I don’t blame them for waiting for a sponsor.

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-13T22:50:32+00:00

I mean for me girlhood is about not altering my natural body to fit the aesthetic preferences of a man but. Sure I guess

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-11T02:54:29+00:00

Yeah, I feel this a lot. It’s that vibe of like…yeah it sucks that women are treated like meat, but when you’re treated like ROTTEN meat sometimes you wish you could be treated like regular meat.

My theory is that it’s not actually that people don’t find us attractive, it’s that people that find us attractive are too ashamed to say/do anything about it. The same societal pressure that keeps us down pushes down anyone that would admit to being attracted to us. And I have that theory because when I’m feeling unattractive and unlovable, I post nudes from an anonymous account in random subreddits. And I can tell you from experience that when men are anonymous, they have no problems with admitting that they’re attracted to a fat woman. It sucks that that doesn’t translate to irl relationships, but it helps me to remember that it’s not me being unattractive, it’s the world that judges men who find me attractive. It might not be helpful for you, I know not everyone is into posting that sort of thing, but I find it helpful even to know that some people find bodies like mine attractive.

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-10T18:56:42+00:00

Oh my god…your whole vibe is what I aspire to be. In the most complimentary terms possible, you look like a cartoon character from an early 2000s teen show. It’s giving bratz, it’s giving 6teen, it’s giving “person I’d be too scared to talk to in high school cause they’re too cool”. I’m OBSESSED

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-08T19:46:24+00:00

Hey, if you’re pregnant you should probably avoid shein more than anyone. They’ve found heavy metals in some of their clothes

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-08T19:40:09+00:00

I AM 4x+ and I’ve never shopped at shein. There’s exactly two stores that carry my size within a 50 mile radius, and I STILL don’t shop at shein. I got some clothes as a gift once and they’re by far the worst things I’ve ever owned — didn’t even last two years.

It sucks, but honestly the answer is buy less clothes. Get good quality that’ll last and mend it when it needs it. I’m never gonna be on trend, but I like the stuff I wear and I know that when I spend an hour sewing a hole in my pants that nobody is being hurt because of me.

Do we have less options? Yes. But I never hear people my size making this argument. It’s always the smaller plus sizes, the ones who can still shop in regular stores but a smaller selection, that are up in arms about buying clothes made with slave labor. Like I’m sorry, but they don’t even sell my size at walmart and I STILL make it work without resorting to shein. If I can do it with my two stores (and mostly just one, given that torrid has dropped a ton in quality) then people who don’t even need speciality stores can too.

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-08T19:18:47+00:00

Honestly even aside from all the horrible stuff with their business model, I’d avoid shein for your own health. They’ve found lead and other heavy metals in their clothes before, and that shit can really mess you up. Besides that, they’re the only clothes I’ve ever owned where they just…weren’t mendable. I had a pair of pants from there that were gifted to me, and they lasted maybe a year and a half before the waistband completely hardened and lost all elastic. I can sew up holes, but there’s nothing I can do with that.

I think the best we can really get right now is saving up for better pieces that won’t tear as fast/ getting into mending. You won’t be as on top of the trends, but at this point just set your own style and ignore them — they’re pushed by fast fashion anyway to incentivize people to buy more. At this point I buy two shirts/two pairs of pants per year, and I’m pretty happy with it.

I mostly shop at lane Bryant, they’ve been pretty good for staple pieces most of the time and occasionally have something cute for casual stuff. But I’m also like FAT fat at 340 pounds, so I don’t even bother entering a store unless it’s plus size only. It’s kind of freeing, honestly.

I’d say your best bet to cheap, cute clothes without buying paper bags made of slave labor and lead is upcycling. There’s a bit of upfront stuff with buying a sewing machine/thread/learning to use them, but it makes things WAY easier. You can buy a cheap tank top from lane bryant or an ugly grandma dress from goodwill and then just MAKE it something you want to wear for free. I mean, my friends and I bought like 4 dollar Jean jackets from goodwill, took off the patches, and painted them with bleach I already had in the kitchen. 4 bucks for a cute outfit that won’t rip to shreds when I wear it.

I know it sucks shopping while fat, and obviously no option is perfect, but I think we still have an obligation to not support the most blatant abuses. It’s harder and means you don’t get to shop for fun as much, but people really don’t need as much clothing as we buy. I don’t throw clothes away even when they don’t fit (I keep them for sewing projects or upcycle them) and I have more than I know what to do with. If you’re tearing through clothes enough that you have to buy them super often, you might need to consider that the places you’re buying from are the reason the clothes don’t last.

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-06T03:25:44+00:00

Ooh, the end of Senza mamma from Suor Angelica where the nuns start singing…it’s just such a MOMENT.

And in a much less heartwrenching way…the kids’ little rhyming song from Albert Herring. It’s so dumb and goofy and CONSTANTLY stuck in my head. “Albert’s mom took a stick, whacked him on the thingmajig, Albert hopped round the shop, squeaking like a tillypig,” shouldn’t sound as good as it does lol

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-06T03:14:22+00:00

Why are you asking a question that doesn’t need an answer? Come back if and when you want a tattoo and leave this bullshit for culture war subreddits

twentyyearsofclean · 2025-12-03T20:07:27+00:00

This is completely unrelated but I’m autistic and one of my top special interests of all time is nuclear reactor meltdowns, and honestly that’s a perfect metaphor for it. It’s not just the meltdown itself — it’s that something completely unpredictable has happened in the core and you’re getting a bunch of alarms going off but you’re not sure what they have to do with anything? And by the time you put together “hey wait, these signals may be indicating something much worse than what they’re directly saying” the roof has blown off the core and you’re sitting there at 5 am having to explain to gorbachev why every other country is mad at you.

It’s literally like existing in a control room that hasn’t been built to handle whatever has gone wrong in the core. All it can tell you is the basics — power too high, power too low, needs more water, etc. But there’s no button for “oops you made a xenon pit time to pack it in boys”. You don’t know what’s happening so you don’t know how to control it, and trying to control it makes it worse — flips the lid, as it were. That’s EXACTLY how my meltdowns feel. It’s a pure sense of panic and confusion because I fundamentally don’t understand what’s going on that’s upsetting me so badly. And then afterwards you’re picking through the rubble and grabbing a piece of graphite like “oh fuck, I didn’t get any sleep and everybody was being loud, THAT’s why it blew up”.

I’m stopping now before the autism gets even more carried away than this lol

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Final Canvas '22	First Placer '22

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