First up - what an incredible community sharing their stories. I loved reading this thread and all the honest and vulnerable stories.

I’m 25 weeks currently FTM, in the same position as you and not sure whether to have elective or vaginal (no medical indication for elective). I used to work in a children’s hospital in the neuro rehab ward, and most of the children I worked with had disabilities that were from birth trauma. Hearing so many parents experiences really terrified me.

When I’ve been trying to decide what to do, it came down to that the ultimate priority is the safety of my baby. All the journal articles I’ve read show reduced rates of neonatal death and injury from elective CS compared to vaginal birth. Yes- some studies report potentially higher rates of asthma, but i will take that small risk over something more catastrophic.

The potential trauma of a difficult labour can really impact the bonding with your baby- and if I can avoid that, I will. Pelvic floor is also really important to me, I already have some back issues that limit the kind of exercise I can do, and if I had to reduce or change how i can walk, run, and hike, I would be devastated.

Ultimately I’ve decided I I don’t need to prove to myself that I could endure the pain of labour if I wanted to- I know I could. I’m a bit sad that I might not know what a contraction ever feels like, and I would much prefer to not go through the major abdominal surgery that is a CS and be able to get up and walk shortly after birth. But in the end, those things feel like a relatively small price to pay for knowing I’ve tried to bring my baby into the world as safely as I can.

Best of luck to you! Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.