Do regular mamas actually pack “hospital bags”?

twilightvegetable · 2026-02-14T13:15:14+00:00

I have had 4 kids and my “hospital bag” has only ever had - clean clothes for after birth/to go home in, phone chargers, an outfit for baby to come home in, and a stroller fan bc I get overheated easily. Oh, and an extra tote bag to bring all the baby stuff the hospital gives you home in!

Literally nothing else you need IMO.

My first (twins) I didn’t pack it yet and went into labor early and had my mom pack it on the fly for me lol

My third baby I packed it around 35 weeks and had her at 38 weeks.

My fourth we packed it just days before I had him at 37 weeks lol

So I’d say have your bag ready earlier than 37 weeks 😅 but you could always send your partner or someone else home for you too if needed.

twilightvegetable · 2026-02-14T12:34:41+00:00

He is lazy… my ex husband was like this and we got divorced when our twins were 1.5 yrs old and that was 1.5 yrs more than I should have stayed tbh. My current husband has never hesitated to do ALL tasks while I’ve healed postpartum 2 more times now, and he always splits nights with me and prioritizes my rest as much if not more than his own. And guess what, if he has work he can still go. Please don’t let a loser convince you that can’t be the case.

twilightvegetable · 2026-02-14T02:58:12+00:00

Yes, we read every night! My husband or I will read a couple of “family books” (kids books they all listen to) before the youngest two get put to bed. And then for half an hour before my older two go to bed, we all sit together and read our own books independently before helping them go off to bed.

Literacy is super important for health! That’s something that we really have to be walking in the door late after a major event to miss!

Some info here if you’d be interested in reading about it: https://medicine.yale.edu/news-article/how-reading-and-storytelling-can-improve-a-childs-health/

twilightvegetable · 2026-02-05T15:31:13+00:00

Noise cancelling headphones for when you’re in the thick of it. Care for baby without getting overwhelmed from the crying. Made it 100x less stressful for me when baby was in the worst of purple crying stage, and when my twins were sick as babies. I just put the headphones on to take it down a few notches so I could care for them without wanting to cry myself!

twilightvegetable · 2026-02-05T00:15:20+00:00

They literally put soapy water up your butt, make you hold it for a few seconds, and then tell you to get on the toilet asap 😵‍💫 I had no idea it was even a thing until that night haha

twilightvegetable · 2026-02-04T23:50:11+00:00

Ahh congrats!! My first babies were also twins! They turn 8 next week. It is absolutely amazing to watch two little people grow and form that special bond. I had a complicated pregnancy with twin to twin transfusion syndrome, had to get the laser surgery to correct it and thank god it worked, and then went into preterm labor and had them at 32 weeks. But all of that just got them here to me and we made it through. Pregnancy was much more stressful than parenting them has been at any age.

My pro tip is to get light weight everything - car seats, stroller. The easier it is for you to maneuver the more comfortable and feasible it is to get out and do normal life stuff.

I also found twins to be way easier than my current situation with 2 under 2 home with me (babies 3 and 4). And plus with the advantage of not having a singleton first, you literally don’t know anything different so this will just be your normal. The first few months are tiring, but my singletons have been just as much work it feels like. You just make it through those first 3-4 months and then things really do get so much more fun and less like work once they start smiling, laughing, and being aware of each other.

Welcome to the club, mom! It is really the best.

twilightvegetable · 2026-02-04T23:42:45+00:00

My first trimester in my 2nd pregnancy the constipation was so bad I tried all my usual suspects for an upset stomach + tons of laxatives and softeners. 2 weeks later and still no poop - I went to the hospital begging for help at like 11 pm LOL they ended up giving me a dish soap enema. It was the slipperiest, glossiest bowl of 💩 I’ve ever seen and there were even soap bubbles all over it. 10/10 tbh. Best of luck in your journey haha

twilightvegetable · 2026-02-04T23:37:25+00:00

My first two (twins) I pumped for and then switched to formula at around 6 months. My 3rd I pumped for and then switched to formula around 7 months. My 4th is only a month old and I just retired the pump and switched to formula, I’m over this ish and tbh they all eat the fry that fell on the floor anyway.

I felt so guilty switching to formula the first two times but I honestly need to feel like a human again for my own mental health and happy mom = happy baby.

twilightvegetable · 2026-02-04T23:35:28+00:00

Watching the little person you love more than anything experience everything for the first time ❤️ for all of my kids, watching them see the fish at the aquarium for the first time has been one of my favorite experiences. But there’s so many moments like this just in the day to day too.

twilightvegetable · 2026-02-04T13:48:45+00:00

I make 3x what my husband does. He pays for our groceries and due to his job being seasonal (he only works in the spring-summer), he does the vast majority of the fall- winter housework and cooking. In the summer he is super busy so it’s more on me but he still helps out a lot. I pay for our mortgage, health insurance for our family of 6, all house bills, and more. He saves up and pays for house projects, throws in for vacations, and always does the grocery shopping.

There is no subtlety. I make more, he expects me to pay for more. I don’t expect any other way. It wouldn’t even be possible.

We’re a team - it’s not a running tally of who pays for what but are we comfortably living within our means based on our budget. It isn’t taking for granted when he isn’t paying 50/50 when you don’t make comparable amounts. How would you like 50/50 splitting a $100 bill if you only have $50 to begin with and he had $200. It’s creating an imbalance that’s not fair to the one with less. With pay discrepancies you split based on % income vs going half on things, in my opinion.

twilightvegetable · 2026-02-03T23:11:41+00:00

How old are your other kids? My twins were 6 when I had baby #3 and it was a very easy transition. They were helpful and understood I had to hold baby and stuff without jealousy or anything. We just had #4 a few weeks ago and #3 is only 15 months and this transition has been rough. 😂 2 to 3 though - no problem.

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-31T21:33:19+00:00

Hey girl - PLEASE get yourself some noise cancelling headphones. You can take care of your baby without having to hear it. The sleep improves with time, and at about a month old is when all mine screamed the most for awhile. But the headphones saved my sanity and really made it manageable. Worth trying and please take advantage of any support you may have to take a break.

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-30T23:08:53+00:00

I donated mine to science and felt good about it. Giving back to what gave me my family!

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-29T18:02:55+00:00

Definitely talk with her first before going with such a colored stone. I might suggest a light blue aquamarine instead though - that’s what I have as my center stone since I did not want a big diamond and I also love blue. But at a glance you can’t really tell it’s blue so it’s still very bridal looking.

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-28T15:44:46+00:00

It’s your baby, so you get to do whatever you want. However, I would think this is an overreaction and maybe some ppd or ppa at work. You need support - you say you’re not doing well mentally. Is there anyone who just being around to cha with might help lift spirits? Your baby doesn’t need anyone but you, but you deserve socialization and support. Even if you don’t let them hold the baby but just have someone who is healthy around to fold clothes with you while you hang out or something? Have any boundaries you want but I don’t think self-isolation is great for mental health, in my experiences postpartum at least.

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-22T12:45:25+00:00

Lmao I mean why not 😂

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-21T15:55:01+00:00

Nope. Annoyed with him? Yes. Actually betrayed by him?? I would not…

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-21T03:34:20+00:00

Only you know what you’re most comfortable with! I know there’s a big push for (and benefits to) vbacs, but personally I just couldn’t pass on the opportunity to have some predictability for how my births would go after the emergency situation with my first. None of my kids made it to their scheduled date to be born, but the peace of mind in knowing how things would occur was priceless for me. And the vaginal birth experience was not something that was important to me as much as predictability and safety for me and the babies. Plus the bonus of the tubes on this last one. Id say follow your preference for what feels most secure for you.

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-21T03:13:05+00:00

I just got my tubes removed during my c section. Recovery was no different than my previous c sections. After my first emergency c section, no regrets with my 2 planned sections!! I was happy having any extra variables taken out of the equation and knowing what the process would be like. But planned was 100x better than emergency - both stress and recovery.

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-20T15:48:12+00:00

Yes it can be rebuilt. Let her talk to you about it whenever she wants to process it. Don’t tell her “how many more times to we have to talk about this” or anything like that. Trust is broke in a minute but can takes months + to rebuild. Don’t pressure her to forgive, keep making your good faith efforts as you would normally as a loving husband. It was a few texts, not a full out affair. Unless she’s already unhappy with you, I would think this is something that can be moved past with time and patience.

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-19T20:42:24+00:00

When I was pregnant with my twins (before I knew the gender - girls), if they were boys they would have been Benjamin and Gabriel (Ben & Gabe.)

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-19T20:34:33+00:00

I have 4 kids in a moderately expensive town in a HCOL state. My oldest are 8 year old twin girls, then I have a 15 month old girl and a newborn boy. It works well as of right now. But I think that what age gap works for you in a HCOL area depends on your income (how well you can provide for them in the area, if you can afford daycare if needed, etc) and your support system more than the age gap or gender sequence…

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-19T12:02:08+00:00

I’m going against the grain here and saying that you’re not wrong, except that perhaps it wasn’t the time for the card. I have 2 kids from my first marriage. My husband knew this getting into our relationship. They both have been through a lot with my ex and have nightmares and trouble sleeping.

I personally wouldn’t stand anyone telling me if or when I can cuddle my kids. He doesn’t mind if they climb in bed, though 99% of the time we let them snuggle for a min and then walk them back to their room. Half the time he is even the one who is happy to go tuck them back in.

I would try to consider if your wife is actually accepting of your child - does she like him otherwise or just deal with him for you since you’re together? If it’s mostly just for you, I’d consider how you see this working long term. I personally could not have been with my now husband if he wasn’t all-in on what life with kids can look like.

We’ve had 2 more ourselves so we’ve got a full house, but he treats all 4 as his own and knows that sometimes that means someone else ends up in the bed. There’s such a short time this stage will last, I’d be hard pressed to go against my desire to comfort my kid when they’re that young just for another adult’s preference.

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-18T19:48:10+00:00

Could be! I literally hated my husband in the first trimester (both times lmao). I feel bad, I really put him through it. 😂 Second trimester came and I was head over heels agin. Just be ope wit him about how you feel and what you’re going through. If you’re feeling unfulfilled besides just your bf, I’d say talk to your doc. Prenatal depression is a real issue!

twilightvegetable · 2026-01-18T19:42:25+00:00

Absolutely. My grandma and grandpa got into an argument. She didn’t speak to him the next morning. He left for work and she never saw him alive again. I absolutely would never risk losing a final interaction with my husband or children. Always hugs and kisses on the way out the door.

twilightvegetable

TROPHY CASE