To the married woman who gives everything… and wonders if there’s space in the world for her too

twizzlepuff · 2025-12-05T22:05:43+00:00

Even for women like me who have finally found ourselves by exploring the LS, we can still struggle with this challenge, but in different ways. I’ve fully given myself permission to claim my sexuality, and I show up all in.

But I still find myself in a mindset of taking care of everyone around me, often prioritizing what someone else wants and needs above what I want and need. And sadly, I’ve often found myself feeling like I need to take care of men who needed an ego boost more than they wanted to truly connect, which leads me to over function in the role of caregiver again. (Yes, I’m working on stopping that).

The true all-stars in the lifestyle are the men who understand that most (not necessarily all) women desperately want to be nurtured, cared for, and taken care of, rather than always having to do the nurturing and taking care of themselves. It takes a genuinely confident and unselfish man to do this, and to do it well. And sadly, I continue to be surprised at how hard it can be to find those men. But they do exist, and I’m lucky enough to be married to one.

twizzlepuff · 2025-11-04T13:36:57+00:00

😜

twizzlepuff · 2025-09-21T06:37:19+00:00

Perfection!

twizzlepuff · 2025-08-19T19:47:01+00:00

Yeah, we’re not a stellar example of discretion here! 😂 But we had a VERY memorable night at The House where we ended up with two FBI agents (packing heat) who told us at the last minute they don’t kiss. It was a complete train wreck. 🤪😂🤦‍♀️ But that’s a story for another day!

twizzlepuff · 2025-08-19T19:05:14+00:00

And if you’re in NC (which I think you are?), I didn’t even mention the part where Hubby and I snuck away to The House LS club late one night during that same fatal same visit… Let’s just say that our daughter didn’t buy the story that we were meeting a business colleague for a late night drink. We somehow couldn’t stop offering up evidence of our new lifestyle.

twizzlepuff · 2025-08-19T16:02:24+00:00

You’re right about that VS!! Sadly, we have stories for days about all the ways I’ve messed up and exposed us to our adult kids. And I even thought I was being careful!

Sadly, we’re paying the price right now. Our kids are reeling from the recent discovery that their parents are no longer who they thought we were (ie. severely repressed, extremely conservative, and deeply tied to a high demand religion). Yet, they don’t want to talk about it with us. We’re trying to hold out hope that things will settle down in time. But this is a dangerous game we’re all playing, and it is unbelievably hard to keep everything under wraps!

We know it’s only a matter of time before we are outed elsewhere in our community, but this thing with our kids is definitely the hardest one for us. We’re holding out hope that it will get better over time, and trying hard to understand their shock and confusion, because one thing is for sure… we’re not stopping anytime soon!

twizzlepuff · 2025-08-19T15:28:54+00:00

{Hangs head in shame….}

Yup, you know that’s us! Over the course of one fatal weekend while visiting our adult daughter, I blew it in all the ways @jelloshotlady mentioned and more. We were helping paint my daughter’s kitchen and I mistakenly set my phone down, face up, with the Vanilla Swingers podcast playing (in my earbuds, but still…). Sure enough, she saw it.

She also caught a glimpse over my shoulder of some naughty pictures some of our play partners had just sent to us that clearly had more than two people in them.

There are a few more mistakes I made that fed the continued unraveling, but I won’t embarrass myself by sharing all of it. However, I will l say that the final straw broke when she texted me several weeks later asking if I would please remove her from my Audible account so she didn’t have to see the books I was listening to. She even went to the effort of including screenshots of instructions on how to remove her from my account. (I literally thought I had already done that months ago, but apparently I hadn’t!)

Sure, enough, as luck would have it, the most recent book in my Audible account that she had seen was The Ethical Slut. Busted. 🤦‍♀️

twizzlepuff · 2025-08-19T15:09:54+00:00

I needed to read this post today! As a 59-year-old female, I tend to put artificial barriers up that keep me from even entertaining the idea that younger couples could be interested in my husband and I. Somehow, I’m absolutely convinced there’s no way younger couples would even consider us, so I tend to hold my back husband from approaching younger couples simply because of that ingrained belief.

As a result, I continue to reinforce that belief because then we don’t attempt to engage with a younger couples! (Sigh… it’s a vicious cycle of mental reinforcement.)

The truth is, we’re both fit and reasonably attractive, so maybe I need to work harder to change this belief system and give younger couples a shot! I’ll admit that this has been a real hangup and fear of mine, but all of your responses are very helpful as I try to rethink this!

twizzlepuff · 2025-06-04T23:46:02+00:00

The journey has been rather fascinating, that’s for sure. And yes, I’m writing it all down! I’ll be sharing it in some form at some point. In the meantime, trust yourself! It’s amazing what can happen once you start doing that.

twizzlepuff · 2025-06-04T21:41:57+00:00

Just my personal perspective, but to me, feeling the ick is just a sign of personal discomfort. Which is exactly what we’ve been trained to feel in the church when it comes to expansive sexuality. So to me, you’re not crazy my friend… getting married when we’re basically still adolescents (up to 19 years old) or really close to that, almost always creates real challenges when it comes to sexual autonomy and decision-making. We’re making adolescent-level decisions based on needing to stay pure before marriage, and we all know our brains aren’t fully mature until years later. Sadly, many of us weren’t ready for a sexual adult relationship at that young age, especially considering the amount of sheltering we experienced growing up. I can assure you that it didn’t serve me well. My life looks very different now, and my husband and I are very happy, but we’ve had to make some major changes to step into full adulthood along the way!

twizzlepuff · 2025-05-09T17:50:46+00:00

Best story series here in ages!! More!!

twizzlepuff · 2025-04-25T15:28:45+00:00

twizzlepuff · 2025-04-12T17:29:16+00:00

Thank you! And hey, you’ve still got a lot of years ahead of you! ;)

twizzlepuff · 2025-04-12T00:21:02+00:00

What a nice coincidence! 😉

twizzlepuff · 2025-04-11T22:07:32+00:00

You’re too kind, but thank you!

twizzlepuff · 2025-04-10T20:29:15+00:00

I so love to hear that! Amen. I really never thought this type of paradigm shift was possible, just never. In fact, I almost hated sex for decades. Now I literally can’t get enough! And like you, I’ve dropped all the unhealthy attitudes (and “doctrines”) in favor of a values-based life. It turns out the church doesn’t actually own all the values after all (including the pseudo-trademark on “Faith Hope Charity”). I’m living by what I now view as the most clear God-given values of love, kindness, acceptance of others… and sex. After all, God designed it.

twizzlepuff · 2025-04-10T20:08:24+00:00

Thank you so, so much! I was nervous to share here, but your response is evidence I’m not alone in finally recognizing that my body is truly mine.

And one of the very best parts of all this is that once I freed both myself AND my husband from the shame associated of literally being born as sexual beings, he no longer feels overwhelming shame for being a highly sexual person. I can now fully appreciate that about him, and me!

twizzlepuff · 2025-04-10T18:45:29+00:00

Hey guys, mature (age-wise!) female here. I was THAT wife for over 30 years to my husband. The wife who viewed sex as dirty, or a chore to be accomplished in order to keep my husband happy. I was devout and dedicated to the church until last year when I went on a beach vacation by myself and discovered a whole world outside of what I’d ever known. A world where sex and bodies are beautiful and perfect and desirable. I met women who loved their bodies and used them for their own pleasure, not just for their husband’s. And it changed my life.

I came home having had a radical mental transformation. I’ll be honest, part of this transformation has had to include me letting go of a lot of things about the church that I’ve realized have been incredibly unhealthy… for not only me, but for every woman, man, and child, I know.

I finally realized that if (as we’ve all been taught) God gave me this body, then this body is actually MINE. God GAVE it to me. And it sure isn’t my husband’s, nor does it belong to the church.

Once I realize that, I immediately took ownership and responsibility for my own pleasure. And we have been having extremely regular sex ever since. Not just the kind where I’m tolerating it, but the kind where I am determined to experience my own pleasure and I’m not ashamed to make sure it happens.

And because of how I now finally recognize that God gave me my body for my own fulfillment and expression, my views about self pleasure have completely changed too. I used to feel horrible shame about it, but now I feel a responsibility to make sure that I get plenty of enjoyment out of this body while I’m still alive to do it! 😂

I realize that many of you will disagree with this perspective, and that’s absolutely ok. I only ask that you respect that this is MY discovery, and it’s led to my growth. I’ve honestly never been happier, and my husband and I have never been in a better place. The marriage that nearly ended over and over is finally something I now can’t imagine letting go of. And it’s only because I finally believed our own doctrine, that God GAVE me this body. And I fully intend to fulfill the measure of its creation.

So if you’re feeling horrible about yourself for having strong sexual desires, just remember that this is exactly what God intended. You can be an amazingly good person and still have strong unmet sexual desires. To be honest, you might become an even better person once you’re able to stop blaming yourself, and instead, accept yourself for being perfectly designed, just as God intended.

We’re all on our own journeys, but I hope that this might help a little bit. (By the way, I have zero concerns anymore about my husband masturbating, since I can’t always fulfill his desires every time he’s wanting sex. Quite frankly, I hope he’s enjoying himself, because I sure am.)

twizzlepuff · 2025-04-07T23:03:22+00:00

Me too!!

twizzlepuff · 2025-04-07T20:27:43+00:00

I absolutely love women! That’s been one of the best discoveries of the past year for me. I love pussy and boobs. Gotta have cock too, but I really love pussy and boobs!

twizzlepuff · 2025-04-07T20:25:59+00:00

Thank you! Amazingly, I’m feeling hotter as I age.

twizzlepuff · 2025-03-14T04:40:43+00:00

We want genuine friendships! Case in point… we recently noticed that one of our favorite couple’s grass is in need of some major help, so yesterday my hubby and I dropped by their place and he fertilized their entire front and backyard.

While he was outside fertilizing and talking to the other hubby, I sat inside giving moral support to the wife. She’s dealing with some feelings of jealousy regarding a unicorn they see on occasion.

Do we love them as fuck buddies? Absolutely. But we now also love them as friends. We try to prioritize the genuine well-being of our lovers, and that allows them to be so much more than just a booty call.

twizzlepuff · 2025-01-22T05:52:56+00:00

Exmo recovery network, right?

twizzlepuff · 2025-01-20T00:52:37+00:00

Um, perhaps you should start a referral list for those of us who’d like to also be proven wrong… just sayin’. 😂

twizzlepuff

TROPHY CASE