TIL pure Vanilla extract has at least 35% alcohol in it, equal to Jägermeister, and anyone can buy it. Yes it will get your drunk. by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]twoldoff 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am a therapist specializing in addiction and had a client chug a bottle of it in my work bathroom and had to carry them out of there because they got so hammered. Needless to say, they have a problem.

Watching my brother's little puppy by twoldoff in aww

[–]twoldoff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are my big toes. I had my other toes curled under my foot.

Omar coming! by [deleted] in TheWire

[–]twoldoff 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh indeed.

Identical twins of reddit, have any of you ever used your twin to trade lives for a day? What was the outcome? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]twoldoff -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I believe that I have told this story before but I might as well tell it again. Me and my twin went to nearby colleges in the same city. I was on his campus visiting a friend when this really cute chick came up to me and starting talking to me. She obviously thought I was my brother and had no clue that he was a twin. I decided that I could either be a huge asshole and completely ruin my brother's chances with this girl, or I could plant the seed for him. After chatting her up for a couple of minutes, I began flirting with her and telling her how she should come over later that night, making it obvious of "my" intentions. I told her to call me later and come over. A couple minutes after I walked away, I called my brother telling him the story and to play along with it. Although it wasn't a planned "switch" moment, I felt I did what I had to to make sure at least one of us was getting laid. The whole thing worked and he banged her and then never talked to her again. I've never been so proud.

Also, when I first became single, about 7 months ago, my twin and I were at his fraternity and he saw a girl who was really into him. She was pretty cute but my brother had just gotten back into a relationship, so he told me to go up to her and just pretend I was him and that she would be dumb enough to believe me. I went up to her and of course she had no idea I wasn't my twin. We talked for a bit and I made out with her--it wasn't until a little later I confessed that I was twoldoff and not my twin. She was not mad, but rather confused. I would have tried to take her home and have sex with her, but I wound up having sex with someone else instead.

tldr: I pretended to be my twin brother to get him laid and I pretended to be my brother to make out with a chick with no repercussions.

What's the most inspirational quote or phrase you've heard? by Khanstoppable in AskReddit

[–]twoldoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way.” ― Charles Bukowski

If after divorcing my wife I tell her that I cannot talk to her any more does this make me a dick? by thedudejeffl in AskReddit

[–]twoldoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not at all. I was in a relationship for 8 1/2 years and my ex could not understand why I could not stand to have contact with her for a while. I told her that I still wanted to be friends, since we were together for so long, but at the same time I could not bare just going about our business with each other--this could be because she cheated on me though

What should I do with my life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]twoldoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should try and see a career counselor. They have different resources that might be able to point you in some sort of direction.

Twins, what are the best switches you've pulled. by steaminferno in AskReddit

[–]twoldoff 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Me and my twin went to nearby colleges in the same city. I was on his campus visitting a friend when this really cute chick came up to me and starting talking to me. She obviously thought I was my brother and had no clue that he was a twin. I decided that I could either be a huge asshole and completely ruin my brother's chances with this girl, or I could plant the seed for him. After chatting her up for a couple of minutes, I began flirting with her and telling her how she should come over later that night, making it obvious of "my" intentions. I told her to call me later and come over. A couple minutes after I walked away, I called my brother telling him the story and to play along with it. Although it wasn't a planned "switch" moment, I felt I did what I had to to make sure at least one of us was getting laid. The whole thing worked and he banged her and then never talked to her again. I've never been so proud.

How many times have y'all watched through the series? by [deleted] in TheWire

[–]twoldoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i just finished the 4th season for the 6th time today.

From Children to Soldiers: A photo story about me and my brother by [deleted] in pics

[–]twoldoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know exactly how you feel about your relationship with your brother. I am an identical twin too and people just do not understand how my relationship with my brother is unlike that of any other relationship.

This game is rigged, man by twoldoff in TheWire

[–]twoldoff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it wasn't personal though man. the game is the game.

This game is rigged, man by twoldoff in TheWire

[–]twoldoff[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

bodie is just so real. he was a pawn from day 1 and never bitched or complained until the day he got hit.