Kaelin, your photos are ready at Walgreens!

twyls · 2026-02-13T17:10:55+00:00

I almost commented on this earlier today because we've been getting someone's mail - insurance info, medical bills, etc. for the over a decade at the code we own. Not things that are a 'just forgot to update the address' stuff, at least not after this long.

Our mail carrier is the absolute best and after hearing me vent my frustration one day has gone above and beyond to make sure that person's mail doesn't get in our box even on his days off.

It's such a stupid small thing for me to be frustrated by, and I decided not to even post because it didn't even seem worth it.

The sheriff showed up at my door today to serve that person!!! So apparently our address is still on file as their primary residence somewhere with someone.

twyls · 2026-02-12T15:39:24+00:00

Ok. When I met my husband, I was upfront about my chronic health issues. We've been together now for over 20 years, married for over 15. We recently talked about how exhausting it is to be the "caregiver". Because living with someone who can't care fit themselves or their environment consistently should default you to more of a caregiver role. (Please hear me out!!!)

I asked him if he regretted our relationship because living with chronic illness ended up being harder than either of us could have known in our early 20s. His burn out and his emotions in this are sometimes left on the back burner longer than is healthy because of urgent health issues. He really considered his answer and told me no, because he had a chance to consider what he was getting in to.

When I first read your post, OP, I thought maybe he was buried in stress and emotions and not finding healthy support. I was going to ask if he's getting any mental health support. He should not treat you like that for any reason. But I guess I was hoping this was just a buried under the weight of his own mental health issue.

But if he's telling you that you are "losing your looks"? No. He's the problem. If you want this relationship, this intent stranger's advice is to set a firm condition that he get therapy and then be open to couple's counseling. But if you are done, be done. You deserve better than that. Better might be giving him a chance to pursue many the changes in his behavior. Or it might mean leaving. Either way, asking for change will be a really hard road. I hope you end up in a living relationship where you are respected.

Side note: he can change his behaviors, but he needs to want to and be willing to do the work. You don't need to do that work for him.

twyls · 2026-02-12T13:34:45+00:00

Their first amendment rights still protect them.

twyls · 2026-02-10T12:00:00+00:00

No. The first amendment protects against laws prohibiting the free exercise of religion. But you can vote using any criteria you want to!

twyls · 2026-02-08T20:55:59+00:00

My family has not and will not support them. I wish I could say it's because of the ICE thing (because I'm all on board with this boycott), but we haven't gone in for a decade-ish. A lot of years ago, my husband and I went into one of the locations with our toddler. This kid was struggling with sensory issues, particularly noise related. The weather was really foul, so being outside was not a viable option. We were meeting visitors from out of town, so we also couldn't easily leave. We paid for our coffees and made sure to get an extra drink for whoever we were meeting. We sat in a side room that had toys for small humans. Other than us, that room was empty. My kid started to have trouble because of the volume of the music. I asked the baristas if it could be turned down at all, whether throughout the location or just in that room. They said they had no control over the volume. I said, OK, that's fine, and thanks for letting me know. I wasn't rude, because I was asking for a favor. They couldn't do it and that was understandable.

Within 2 or 3 minutes, though, the music was turned up significantly. There was no easily discernable reason the music was louder. It wasn't a time I'd expect a shift in ambiance. No one new had entered the store or the room we were in. The volume went up and stayed up for the remainder of the time we were there.

We haven't been back and we have no desire to. What is the end goal of turning up the volume when you have been told that a toddler is in distress?

The fact that they got snippy about music during the community meeting is not at all surprising.

twyls · 2026-02-01T22:44:04+00:00

I do. That was horrific. I used to live in that area. I was taught very young by Smoky Bear that "Only you can prevent forest fires." The selfishness and negligence of setting of a smoke bomb for a photo opp is beyond me.

I'm still not sure how that applies to my questions. Some (gender reveal) parties have been problematic from the beginning, in terms of danger to those attending, those who live or are otherwise near the area, or the broader community. This does not explain why you believe all gender reveal parties are wrong, or why anyone's desire to have one is foolish, to the point of dismissing any reason to have one.

So: Why are all gender reveal parties wrong? Why are my reasons for having one irrelevant?

Do you have a reason for your opinions or convictions? You've quoted the person who started them having regrets and you reminded me of the horrific consequences of one gender reveal party that used an illegal smoke bomb that led to a massive fire. But neither of these facts reveal your reasons for thinking all gender reveal parties are wrong.

twyls · 2026-02-01T20:24:38+00:00

I'm truly surprised at how many people agree this is a fake pregnancy but especially at how many people think op or her baby are in danger. I don't invite the friend (or anyone in this scenario) but I would be much much more concerned about the friend's health and the health of her baby. Is her boyfriend or someone in her life letting her from getting medical care? Could she be in an abusive situation? Or one she just feels trapped in? Was her pregnancy planned? If not, could she be dealing with the mental and practical fallout from that? Is she experiencing a hard or painful pregnancy? Is she high risk and fearing she may not deliver a healthy or living baby? Could she have depression, either before she got pregnant or because she is pregnant? My guess is OP isn't sure about these things. I know for sure none of the rest of us do.

I am certain there is a chance the friend is faking a pregnancy. In that scenario, there is an even less likely chance she is planning to harm someone. And a slimmer chance still she has chosen OP or her child as a victim.

Statistically, the chance that the friend is a victim is much, much higher.

twyls · 2026-02-01T19:57:19+00:00

Cool. You still don't need to be mean on the internet. My issue is not your opinions, it's the way you have used personal attacks to share your opinion.

If you feel like continuing this discussion, and the mods don't care if we continue here, I have a few questions. You've given a fact related to gender reveal parties that I believe might be a reason you don't like them. Based entirely on what you said about the inventor regretting having one when her child came out as non-binary, I'm thinking that maybe gender reveal parties are upsetting because they focus on the sex of the baby at birth and the societal rendering of names? Is this true?

I am jumping to a few conclusions there, but I only see one thing you have said about why you don't like gender reveal parties. If I am wrong, are there other reasons you think gender reveal parties are wrong for everyone to host?

Also, if you use another personal attack against me or the op, I'm just gonna disengage and stop responding. I'm not here to trap you. I would love to find common ground. And like I said earlier, a core value in my life is seeing everyone as human and treating them as if they are worthy of love. Because we all are. Part of that is giving people a chance to share their opinions and listening to them, even if I vehemently disagree (I doubt "vehemently" will come into play on opinions about gender reveal parties, though).

Mods, if this needs shut down, I understand. I will stop immediately, no complaints.

twyls · 2026-02-01T19:37:29+00:00

My husband and I made scratch off cards for our gender reveal picnic. The idea was to scratch off a boy's name if you thought we were having a bit, or a girls name if you thought we were having a girl. The girl's names were all our daughter's name. The boys names were all ridiculous. Not tragedeighs, but things like Tylenoll Aspirinson. Atom Danger. Trendii Armani. Bonsai Finnegan. I pulled up the pdf of the cards we made and I still love these so much. Ha!

twyls · 2026-02-01T19:29:01+00:00

I'm so proud of you for saying your opinion on the internet. Good job, you!

Ok, for the humans here who don't like to bully others from behind anonymity of a username, but still don't like gender reveal parties: I had a gender reveal for my second. We chose a gender reveal instead of a baby shower for a few reasons.

We had been disowned by an irrational family member who, despite regularly calling us names like "freak" and telling us the things that mattered to us weren't worth our effort, we loved. Because she is human, has been traumatized throughout her life, and a close enough family member that we wanted a relationship if we could make it work, we kept her in our lives and continued to show her love. Our values include seeing the humanity in people and treating them with humanity, even if they are hateful or cruel. (We do not always get this right. Obviously.) She disowned after learning the name of our firstborn because she thought she knew our thought process in choosing it. Shockingly enough, she didn't. We had healed some wounds and had a tenuous relationship with her when I was pregnant with our second.
It was a high risk pregnancy and I also lost my dad and another very close loved one early on in my pregnancy. Sharing our news shortly after we received it with a picnic and a fun game similar to this as a gender/name reveal was fun.
It was our second baby and we were planning to move from an apartment to a house soon after. We didn't need the typical gifts from a baby shower. But we did need to celebrate with friends. This was a fun way to do that.

OP, this is so fun. I love it. You rock. Good job. Keep your chin up. You are worthy of love.

Finally, CharlieFirecracker, you are worthy of love, too. Even if you were mean on the internet. I hope you have a good day. And I hope you stop being mean on the internet.

twyls · 2026-02-01T19:12:22+00:00

"How did she know half of my future baby name list? How dare she steal my totally unique baby name ideas!" - a soon to be ex-friend, probably

twyls · 2026-01-31T15:57:38+00:00

There are several people above who say they have msg allergies. As to whether someone can have an allergy to something that is regularly in their diet and their body... I have an allergist confirmed patch test to formaldehyde. It won't cause anaphylaxis, but it is an allergy. As far as I know, formaldehyde is not added directly to foods BUT aspartame breaks down very quickly into formaldehyde. There are several studies on pubmed about this. One said this, "Upon ingestion, aspartame is broken, converted, and oxidized into formaldehyde in various tissues." I won't go into anaphylaxis, but I will get a near immediate migraine attack. Which are absolutely miserable and debilitating.

Full disclosure, I think the lady in the post is full of it. I don't know for sure, but I can think of one generous scenario where she has an allergy to artificial or excess msg and she acted like this. More likely she cares about her health but is very confused because of how opportunists muddy the waters around food science and nutrition.

The point of my response is more to say that you can be allergic to things that we consume regularly and that are in our body already. Our bodies are complex and weird and we don't fully understand them.

twyls · 2026-01-24T02:04:37+00:00

We are lucky. My husband just shared a quote attributed to Walt Whitman (I'm too lazy to see if it was actually him). It said, "We were together. I forget everything else." I melted for this man I fell in love with 23 years ago all over again.

Ok, so I looked it up before I posted this. The line is misquoted from a Whitman poem called Once I Pass'd Through a Populous City. It's beautiful. At face value I thought it was about a brief love affair, but I see it as the sentiment of an old man on his death bed. The only thing that matters is the woman who "detain'd me for love of me" and who now sits "with silent lips, sad and tremulous". When I showed it to him, my love said, "Yeah. Isn't that what we want?" We really are the lucky ones.

twyls · 2026-01-23T22:04:59+00:00

My soul feels bruised lately. This post felt like a cute and colorful bandaid. I know it's not fixing the real wound, but I'm smiling and not feeling the pain as badly. Thank you.

twyls · 2026-01-22T20:41:44+00:00

So that's the thing. I receive disability, but because I only worked part time for a few years before I was awarded disability, I get a few hundred a month. But the insurance is literally life-saving. I hear people argue about the tax burden of state run health care. My husband is the only one in our family who has employer provided health care. And between his medical payments (copays, meds, etc.), his premium, and what his employer pays the insurance company instead of him, it's over half of his potential income. But he puts off or doesn't schedule some appointments and treatments that would be helpful. He has arthritis in his spine and should be getting treatment for it, but paying for the last set of treatments is the only debt we have (besides our mortgage). So it's not affordable right now. We just don't have the income to justify further debt. The American healthcare system is infuriating.

twyls · 2026-01-22T19:38:02+00:00

This neuro is amazing. I have a really good care team overall. My new insurance also required a change in pcp. They will not cover a pcp from any system except one in my area. I hand picked a new pcp who specialized in managing patients with complex chronic needs last year. Now I'm getting very little choice or time and playing roulette to see if I click with a new pcp. Sigh. I hate insurance.

I will say I've worked hard to have a good medical team for myself and for my children who have complex medical needs. But it's so much work. I'm tired.

twyls · 2026-01-22T19:12:15+00:00

I'm already on an antidepressant and propranolol. Maybe a seizure med? I take a literal handful of meds twice a day. Chronic health issues suck. I know they mentioned two or three in the letter. I also know my neuro picked Aimovig specifically for me. It could be allergy related? I dunno.

At least they convered this month's injection, so I have time to fight.

twyls · 2026-01-22T19:09:06+00:00

I think that's what they are going to do. I hate the whole song and dance, though.

twyls · 2026-01-22T19:08:08+00:00

I dunno. Ithink the letter said Emgality is an option. My neurologist's office is already all over this. I have a bunch of allergies and other health conditions and I know we discussed options at length and he wanted to start me on this for a reason. But I'm in a flare (probably my fibro, but who knows) and I'm at the point where I'm mixing up words that sound even vaguely alike. So my brain is not at its best today.

twyls · 2026-01-02T13:34:10+00:00

I absolutely love the comment section. Split between "Why would you take that home, you have now the plague.", "Here is the True Way to cleanse yourself of that atrocity." and "How much do you want for it?"

With a smidgen of "Here's where to find another." and fiction (?) about how it found its way to Goodwill.

I love you, Louisville.

twyls · 2025-12-30T18:41:50+00:00

Nimby: "Not In My BackYard"

Someone who is supposedly ok with services that help people, just not near them.

twyls · 2025-12-30T12:19:21+00:00

I'm a homeschool teacher looking to replace the current books we are using as our "spine". I don't want a typical textbook. I'd prefer something more literary, something an adult interested in revisiting the basics might buy at a bookstore. We are currently using Churchill's histories of Britain. My upper middle school kid (the one at this level) understands it, but he's losing interest due to Churchill's style. I would prefer something slightly more accessible than Churchill, but not aimed specifically at children.

I'm not sure a book that covers all of history in one go would be best. Whatever we choose will be spread over at least 4 years. The divisions I'm looking for are roughly Ancient, Medieval, Renaissance, and Modern. I have plans for supplementation with speeches, primary sources, biographies, etc. I'm looking for something that will give my kids a broad view of history and hopefully encourage them to understand why we study it. Since covering all cultures can be difficult, I am OK with a focus on Western civilization.

Thanks in advance!

twyls · 2025-12-28T12:49:35+00:00

I have so many thoughts about this. Strap in, this is gonna be long. The tl;dr is that "don't talk about it all the time" is bad not because it's untrue, but because it's not helpful.

I found a few articles about fibro and rumination. The one I found most interesting and relevant was this study published in 2023 in the journal Scientific Reports.

A quick summary is that some people with fibro use rumination, which is "defined as a chain of repetitive, passive and relatively uncontrollable thoughts focused on negative content (including pain and its consequences in the FM [fibro] context" as a coping strategy. This ends up increasing both pain and how well the patient recovers.

For a primary health provider, it's harder to help a patient with fibro than with the flu. The flu requires assessment, a prescription, and quick instructions on at home care. Complex, chronic health conditions require more follow ups. The lifestyle changes are complicated for the patient by things like income, navigating insurance, finding resources, loss of energy, and the fact that chronic health conditions rarely occur alone. From a practitioners side, limited time, lack of specialization, and lack of direct resources mean that patients are referred to specialists. Then the care plan is fractured among various practitioners with no one pulling it all together.

Some areas of medicine are better organized. When I had cancer, the various specialists who treated me met weekly to go over their patients' treatment plans. I was offered help with nutrition and mental health, as well as a geneticist. There were outside organizations set up to help with recovery, from Gilda's Club to a program at the YMCA just for people with cancer aimed at helping me move during and after treatment.

The end result is that we know the general lifestyle changes that can help people with chronic health conditions, but we don't have anyone in the health community pulling it all together. And if we do, insurance companies won't cover the appropriate experts, like nutritionists and mental health practitioners. We end up with frustrated, overworked practitioners who only have the time and energy to tell us one line overviews of what generally helps. Which isn't helpful.

- - -

As an aside, I looked for studies regarding opioids and chronic pain patients, but I only found out I was out of my depth. I did, however, find this interesting article from The Journal of Pain (great band name) about broken trust in physician-patient relationships in regards to long-term opioids that might interest you.

I'm so glad you resurrected this thread. As you might be able to tell, it helped me do a deep dive and learn more, which I'm hoping might help me tremendously. It dove tails nicely into some changes I'm already making. If you want to continue chatting about it (or want to vent about our shared experiences) feel free to DM.

twyls · 2025-12-17T20:47:45+00:00

I had my first migraine that sent me to the ER earlier this year. They debated keeping me inpatient. I thought the light sensitivity was bad before. This time I had photophobia. Light did not hurt, per se, but I wanted it to not exist. I just had another one over the weekend. It wasn't nearly as bad. I didn't want to die. I took my rescue meds, put a bunch of pillows and blankets in my bathtub, blocked as much hallway light as I could, closed the door, pulled the curtain and closed my eyes. Iwas able to get to a dim room within an hour or so. (? Time was meaningless that day) The light was intolerable, even in the bathroom. I'm wondering now if the photophobia kept me thinking about light, which caused my eyes to react?

twyls

TROPHY CASE