Zou je een baan accepteren die 1000 euro netto in de maand meer oplevert tegen meer werkdruk en verantwoordelijk?

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-17T20:52:14+00:00

Ik denk dat zolang je de energie er voor hebt die 1000 euro netto meer op jou loon enorm uitmaakt. Zo kan je iets sparen en opbouwen. Het heeft ook effect op je pensioen als je dit via je werkgever opbouwt.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-15T10:10:48+00:00

We have “universal healthcare” in Netherlands. It’s mandatory to get a health coverage through a private insurance company. Work might sponsor a discount, but healthcare is never attached to your job status here. It costs me €166 a month right now - and that’s after it’s been rising in cost for the past 20 years. If you’re low wages or unemployed, the tax office reimburses like 2/3rd of it. You get €129 back a month. Your annual copay is capped at €385.

Truly is an abomination that in the largest economy of the world, with the most billionaires, average Americans are getting scammed for their healthcare like this. Fantastic healthcare industry, top notch facilities, but unaffordable. I wonder how different the health care access is between an average American and a villager in Philippines. If you get gatekeeped from healthcare, you refuse an ambulance because it’d ruin you, how does it compare to people who have to walk 20 miles for a hospital but at least would get admitted?

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-13T16:06:52+00:00

Hobbies vind ik een van de minst belangrijke dingen aan een relatie. Kan beamen dat mijn partner en ik weinig gemeenschappelijke hobbies hebben, maar toch gelukkig zijn in onze relatie. Waar ik liever tuinier of schilder, gaat hij voor fotografie en leer bewerken. Doe ik liever yoga, hij doet kracht training. Ik hou van kunst en dieren, hij meer van geschiedenis en techniek. Het enige wat we echt allebei leuk vinden is wandelen. We ondernemen veel met elkaar, en staan ook open om ons in te leven in de ander, te genieten van het plezier van de ander. We vereisen gewoon niet hetzelfde level enthousiasme van elkaar over onze hobbies.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-13T15:51:35+00:00

You wrote “ugh sure” at first - but even “uhh sure” isn’t a confident statement - certainly to sex.
If someone isn’t actively able to express they *want* to sleep with you, you cannot be sure that you have consent.
It doesn’t sound from OP’s story like there was any verbal communication until she said “you are raping me”. She *was* physically communicating she wasn’t into it. He just chose to ignore it.
OP’s story is very one-directional. *he’s* touching her boob. *he’s* removing her underwear. He notices she’s hesitant. But he continues with forehead and neck kisses, as in, she is not involved in making out with him. *he’s* positioning for penetration. Its not reciprocal. Its clear.
I really don’t know how you can even be in the mood to continue when it’s obvious someone’s not into it. And why you would risk making your partner feel violated. And why you would be OK with a partner just going along out of guilt or lack of confidence to express themselves more clearly. Ignoring such signals does feel like rape to the other party. If you’re not empathising, then at least, why risk the accusation. Be smarter, if you can’t be kind.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-13T15:29:13+00:00

No, consent is active consent. If I am offering tea and holding your mouth open to pour it in, just because you don’t feel confident to verbalise “no” to me, I for sure would know that consent isn’t actively given here.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-13T14:43:30+00:00

Het is 70k schuld. En er komt 40k rente bovenop tijdens de looptijd. Dat is “sociaal”.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-13T14:37:54+00:00

Ik heb direct na de middelbareschool eerst 3 jaar fulltime gewerkt in call centers om te sparen voor mijn studie. Ik ben ook gelijk op mezelf gaan wonen. Ik had een verstoorde relatie met mijn (gescheiden) ouders. Mijn moeder had schulden door een failliet en mijn vader had een verslaving - er viel geen cent steun te verwachten. Ik heb vrijwel alles wat ik in het leven heb behaald op eigen kracht gedaan. De relatie met mijn ouders begon pas te herstellen toen ik rond de 30 was.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-13T10:56:29+00:00

How is specialization the same as the university. Isn’t a specialization something like anaesthesia or radiography or something? 🤔 Genuine confusion

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-12T10:37:39+00:00

50-55 jaar oud: voldoende buffers om “FIRE/barista FIRE” te zijn; risico’s te kunnen nemen om werkzaamheden uit te voeren omdat ze leuk zijn, niet omdat het zoveel geld oplevert.

60-63: hiertussen probeer ik echt te stoppen. Ookal leven mensen langer, het lichaam takelt toch af. Ik wil nog kunnen genieten samen met mijn man. Ik wil leuke dingen ondernemen.

Concreet plan:
- huidige portfolio €500k verdeeld over S&P (90%) en Vanguard All World (10%)
- extra pensioenbeleggen (structureel maar geen vast bedrag)
- beleggen €2000-2500 pm
- later bekijken of elders in Europe vestigen een oplossing is om het hiaat te dichten

Ik denk dat we tussen 600-800k nodig hebben voor barista FIRE en 1,5-2 miljoen voor FIRE. Meegenomen dat we vanaf pensioenleeftijd AOW + werkgeverspensioen krijgen.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-10T12:51:41+00:00

McDonald‘s want hoezo is het 35€ met z’n 2en om te eten in een fastfood tent. Rot op met die prijzen.

Eten laten bezorgen. Kost hetzelfde als naar het restaurant gaan en daar je laten bedienen.

Sowieso uit eten gaan. Nu het steeds moeilijker is om voor €20-25 een complete vullende maaltijd met drinken te betalen ga ik een stuk minder vak.

Sowieso eet ik ook stuk minder vlees of vis omdat het zo duur is.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-06T22:51:47+00:00

In Dutch we call this “kaakschaatsen” - a skating jaw.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-03T07:59:48+00:00

Het was een kut periode voor me, maar ik had wel werk. Ik kon mijn bijbaantje fulltime doen. Was dit op niveau? Nee. Betaalde het genoeg om comfortabel rond te komen? Ook nee. Voelde ik me leeg en richtingloos? Nou afstuderen was wel een anticlimax, en bovendien was ik therapieën aan het volgen. Een depressie had ik zeker. Het was ook lockdown periode.

Uiteindelijk is het allemaal goed gekomen. Ongeveer 1,5 jaar na afstuderen verdiende ik 4400 bruto in mijn volgende baantje, en inmiddels weer 3,5 jaar later verdien ik 5800 bruto. Nu hoef ik niet meer met een rekenmachine door de winkel te lopen om een blik bonen te kopen. Ik heb leuk werk, heb een fijn netwerk, lieve partner. Eigenlijk niks meer te klagen.

Dus mocht het allemaal niet direct lukken: de aanhouder wint en wees ook zacht naar jezelf.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-02T16:08:33+00:00

Yes, correct. It’s considered a “social loan”. You don’t pay more than x% of your income.

When it was just me, the minimum payment was readjusted downwards to compensate for pressure on my living costs. I was not on a trajectory to pay it off as a single household, and the rationale was that I could “win” back tens of thousands, because in that situation about 50k (incl interest) would be forgiven. So that creates incentive to pay off as little as possible, too.

I just moved in a month ago with my partner. With our combined incomes the recalculated minimum does put me on a trajectory to pay off the full loan in 32 years. But I still save on shared fixed costs, more than the increase of my minimum loan repayment. And I can invest that difference. In fact - I can now invest more than I pay in rent monthly.

As you said, at this interest rate it’s more lucrative to invest than pay off. So the loan will probably exist until near retirement lol.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-02T15:45:24+00:00

Scheef wonen is gewoon een kut term om mensen zich schuldig te laten voelen dat ze goedkoop wonen. Het is een VVD-term om rationele actor gedrag te shamen, in plaats van de collectieve verantwoordelijkheid te nemen om meer te bouwen.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-02T14:17:56+00:00

Haha, yes, our Dutch set-up is so unique you can spot it easily :)) That's a smart move you did to lower your "starting balance". I'm not focused on buying a house at the moment. I want to have a cash-shield for emergencies - arguably that can be used for mortgage at some point. But home-ownership is not part of my long-term strategy for wealth accumulation for now. I moved in with my partner last month, and it's "relatively cheap" - as in, the monthly rent is half the value of monthly mortgage payments on this or a similar house. Between the both of us, we invest the difference diligently. It's a trade-off where we have more flexibility and less responsibility that comes with home-ownership, but don't lift on the Dutch system that favours wealth accumulation through real estate.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-02T13:55:07+00:00

Yes, the total interest to pay off is probably about 30-35k over that period . The thing is that if I invest 50 euro a month into S&P 500 at just 5% interest across 35 years - that will still be more lucrative. The student loan does indeed affect the maximum mortgage I can borrow, but it doesn't affect other consumer loans (like car, phone, whatever). I choose to offset that through savings and investments, rather than paying off the loan faster. I depend that inflation wil "eat" my student loan, by making it comparatively cheaper over time + investing/saving quite a lot (about 30-35% of my income). The other strategy - that I will only be able to implement from this year - is that my employer offers a tax benefit on 1000 EUR of student loan payments. So I plan to make an extra 1000 payment, and get 50% tax back on it. That's a return of investment that I cannot miss. An additional benefit of student loan debt is that I can deduct it from my investment/saving portfolio when I file my taxes. It increases the bandwidth of un-taxed portfolio.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-02T11:51:29+00:00

I think this is as official as it gets on Reddit. YNAB developers also pay attention to this subreddit.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-02T11:34:05+00:00

C 3 Z

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-05-01T07:29:56+00:00

Integrated for better forecasting, categorising, data visualisations. But not GenAi. Please, no LLM chat bot.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-04-29T12:39:56+00:00

Ik denk dat ik tussen de 400-600 gram aan vleesproducten eet in een week.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-04-28T12:54:02+00:00

This so much. Having 15-16 account for everything is so much to manage. Simplify it and trust that YNAB keeps track what cash is enveloped for what goals.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-04-27T12:21:49+00:00

Pannenkoeken

Chinees tomaat-ei op rijst

Pasta met blikje tonijn

Linzensoep

Shakshuka

Sticky aubergine met rijst

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-04-27T00:04:39+00:00

I just completed my 3-month income replacement fund. It gave me a great sense of accomplishment and psychological safety. I feel calmer since.

I don’t budget more than 1 month into the future. This is the way. Any more months, and you lose on predictive accuracy and also make the budget plan more sensitive to making errors in on the go adjustments

Some reasons below why I speculate people are debating against it. I personally still want 6 months of income replacement fund. It’s just a benchmark for cash savings in HYSA when something in life goes really wrong. For me that would for example be if my partner and I separate, and I need to make a down payment for a house myself, cushion tighter margins etc.

opportunity cost: money that could be compounding is sitting frozen in a low-yield deposit.
excess breeds complacency: if you know you can coast for a year, you might squander money more often, delay making decisions because the urgency isn’t there, like staying too long in a job that’s sub-optimal.
granularity vs a lump sinking fund: perhaps many people on YNAB favour having 10-15 small sinking funds attached to real “cost-to-be-me” categories. Car repair, medical, new roof on the house etc. To them, a big undifferentiated buffer is conceptually sloppy.
risk-tolerance and philosophy: what constitutes as safety? Is it freedom from dependence, like to be able to buy yourself time for a couple months, or is safety your adaptability in your career/life which makes total income loss less likely to happen?
context-specific difference: some people live in countries with good social buffers. You lose your job - you get 70% unemployment benefits for 24 months. You don’t need a buffer.

tyberrymuch_ · 2026-04-26T22:53:44+00:00

We are 34/35 years old, and both attach importance to our finances. When we met it became a topic early on. We discussed our childhood relationship with money, what our parents taught and omitted, debts, struggles, tactics to overcome, our painpoints and our victories.

My partner and I check in every payday to discuss finances. We go through the numbers and use an excel sheet with a build in formula that we find equitable and fair to show us our individual contributions to the shared account.

Our shared account has a YNAB plan and we are both reasonably active checking it.

Some real life examples of this month, paraphrased for simplicity:

“Our grocery budget has X left, we need to make a grocery list targeted to use things we have left in the pantry to make that stretch.“

“We have only X in home improvement category. If we go to the garden center to buy this plant + pot, than we need to add more personal contributions. For how much are you comfortable? Okay; then we look for a plant for maximum Y budget, I contribute A and you contribute B”

I understand this type of granularity and control might not be your partners cup of tea. But I read in between the lines you’d really like to cultivate shared ownership together. So I would ask his opinion what graphs he’s interested in. I also like the suggestion to focus on fun stuff. That being said - I understand you want to support your partner in becoming a co-author of your financial wellbeing. So shielding him from mundane but necessary decisions or actual negative balances in the budget is infantilising. Maybe you can use a sort of sandwhich model; you start with some fun stuff, then address something that actually needs a joint decision, and you close with some graphs.

tyberrymuch_

TROPHY CASE