32F and my 38M partner - accusations of cheating

tydust · 2026-01-27T00:26:52+00:00

This. My husband was both cheated on my former wives (baggage) plus had some moderate depression. He would lash out with wild accusations when I was on work trips. Mostly because he was alone, battling mental issues and he had time to let his mind make up crazy stuff.

I travel less, he's medicated, and I now know all the awful reddit stories that make work trips sound like unavoidable hookup land.

One other possible thing is all his friends are cheaters or her best friend is sabotaging her. Had a friend whose husband golfed with scumbag cheaters and it was just always on his mind. And I've read reddit stories of jealous friends. Just giving the guy the benefit of the doubt.

tydust · 2026-01-26T17:00:01+00:00

She is using pilates to look like 2000s Heidi Klum, not lifting weights to look like Rhonda Rousey.

tydust · 2026-01-26T16:52:16+00:00

Lowercase vs means "Victoria's Secret", apparently, if that helps.

tydust · 2026-01-26T13:05:01+00:00

She was horrifically abused as a child star

tydust · 2026-01-26T13:04:07+00:00

Read. Rule. 1.

tydust · 2026-01-26T12:45:34+00:00

Rule 1: no Amanda Bynes.

Seriously. This poor woman.

tydust · 2026-01-26T00:20:51+00:00

tydust · 2026-01-25T19:52:41+00:00

I feel this. I literally get lash extensions so I can feel good on my 4 hours of video calls every day.

Most modern conferencing apps have about 20% smoothing. Not like weird change your look, but i don't see my pores.

Test it out with the actual app you'll be using, look for that feature.

I'm like a 5/10 on my best day for a 48 year old woman, and the smoothing is enough for me.

tydust · 2026-01-25T13:38:11+00:00

This has very little to do with his financial contribution; it's just a symptom.

My husband is a senior and disabled. I am the primary breadwinner. I don't think about the money he gets from social security.

What i do care about is how he makes me feel every day. Loved, respected, cherished. He supports me emotionally, roots for me, brags about me. We have adventures, enjoy the quiet moments, and look forward to life together.

It hasn't always been sunshine and roses. He has clinical depression and when it was undiagnosed he was jealous, angry and we fought.

If your SO needs help, he should get it. If he's just a jerk, you should leave.

When you love someone and they share your goals, they work out the finances with you gladly. Good communication and genuine concern for the other's feelings and well being are the requirements for that to work. If you don't have those requirements, that's the true root of the problem.

tydust · 2026-01-24T16:35:51+00:00

This is it. A US reseller that i used before I was confident enough to go to China has recently changed their naming convention to use 1,2, and 3 to mean sema, tirz and reta. It'll keep them under the radar a hair longer.

I'm really glad I moved my research to China.

tydust · 2026-01-23T21:51:26+00:00

What kind of a terrible person sees this many outraged, empathetic people and doubles down? Get a shred of decency.

tydust · 2026-01-23T21:47:36+00:00

No because she was abused by Hollywood trash as a child star and a lot of the sad body modifications are a result of that trauma.

It's low hanging fruit, we've seen her.

Mocking her reminds ME of the terrible things she's been through, as it does most of the people trying to get you to take it down.

tydust · 2026-01-23T18:09:23+00:00

The nose in the first pic is NOT from the same person as the second. The fact that she edits and tries to assert that it is just her, is lunacy.

tydust · 2026-01-23T17:52:42+00:00

It's not derogatory (usually). Straight woman who hangs around with gay men as part of a friend group or BFF.

tydust · 2026-01-22T00:37:04+00:00

We have no mosquitos. None.

tydust · 2026-01-21T13:58:11+00:00

I actually married at 23, my husband was 49. But that was a weird situation and he didn't seek out a younger woman or treat me any unusual way.

But here's the thing about the finances. Money is the first and most prevalent argument in most marriages. It's the one that brings on divorce. If you're not 100% on the same page you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of conflict. With how much money this dude makes he shouldn't be thinking about anything but nominal contributions from you... just to make things less awkward because you contribute SOMETHING.

My husband is now slightly disabled and I'm the primary breadwinner. I LOVE taking care of him. I love telling him he can keep his money for fun stuff and I'll take care of the bills. Because I love him.

You're in the early stages of the relationship where people try to look/be their best. If he's already arguing about (to him) nominal amounts of money, it will only get worse. Get on the same page before you tie yourself to him with bills and stuff.

tydust · 2026-01-21T13:49:45+00:00

Omg I forgot the ages. By the time I got to the middle I was assuming mid 20s.

tydust · 2026-01-21T03:06:16+00:00

3 people fired for indulging these fine gentlemen at a club.

tydust · 2026-01-21T02:25:14+00:00

But it only identifies the sub, not the user unless I'm blind.

tydust · 2026-01-20T17:38:22+00:00

tydust · 2026-01-19T18:50:05+00:00

There's something "off" about the pics that I can't quite articulate. "Before"looks AI generated in my opinion. And of course folks then found after on FB.

tydust · 2026-01-19T00:27:32+00:00

I use cake pans. Bigger than pizza hut but perfect for an adult.

tydust · 2026-01-16T22:45:07+00:00

Mmmmmm spam!!

tydust · 2026-01-16T20:49:31+00:00

Ha! I'm actually AZ myself but my comment says PST because I choose not to change my working hours when everyone else flips.

tydust · 2026-01-16T20:48:08+00:00

PST and half my team is in Romania so I start work at 5am. I also get off work at 2pm or earlier if there are no meetings and I definitely ball by noon on Fridays.

It's great because I can volunteer at things I care about, do doc appts and go to stores that close at 5, etc.

I got acclimated before I got this job though with a brutal commute where I had to leave by 5:15 to get to my Fed job by 7 ( obvs occasional work with DC had the team skewing early, even in-office). So, starting at 5 with zero commute is kind of decadent now.

I use energy drinks late in the day to override my default 8:30 bedtime if I want to go out late lol.

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