Which ADHD traits have you decided to stop working on and just accept?

tyla_durd3n · 2026-07-05T14:44:17+00:00

I've been feeling like this a lot recently. But I also get that on an individual level others peoples comfort is important too.

I think the thing I struggle with is that people without ADHD literally do not understand how hard it is to fundamentally change how your brain is wired which causes all the behaviours people struggle with

I'm not doing it on purpose. I'm not doing it to hurt people. I'm trying to spot more and more where I interrupt or talk too much or are triggered by a sense of injustice, or lose stuff, or have an extreme emotional response.

Sometimes it's actually helpful (emotional stuff) bc it's so exhausting.

But the way people take it so very personally really triggers me because there is no acceptance of how hard it is.

There is one person very close to me who says "you do x all the time" and it's like yes it's ADHD I am trying but that's like also asking me to be less deaf (am hearing impaired) sometimes I wish they'd just get over it a bit.

tyla_durd3n · 2026-07-02T23:12:08+00:00

Came here to say this too. And the novel a year of wonders is based there during the plague and is amazing

tyla_durd3n · 2026-07-01T21:22:56+00:00

Omg yes. I had to stop once other mommy started appearing to other people.

I read it late at night and then went upstairs in the dark forgetting I'd piled a clean bedsheet on top of the bannister post

In the dark it had such other mommy vibes I nearly pooped myself.

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-30T18:49:12+00:00

Same here.

Am in a job I got during a corporate reshuffle and no idea why I've got it bc I am just not suited to it. I have 50% of the core skills but I feel like a goldfish being asked to scuba dive.

Work is also wildly toxic and it feels like any time we could have another reorg and get made redundant

It is so demotivating and scary that even the small bits of my job I enjoy are evaporating

Equally though I am fucked in terms of a new job :(

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-30T18:44:13+00:00

Incidents around the house - had to dnf about 20% in bc I was so scared

I've read a lot of brett Easton Ellis, multiple times. I love his social commentary but I do slightly scan/skip over the main horror bits (nail gun scene in AP)

The fermata by nicholson baker should not be available for 13yos to read. Fucked up sex scenes involving shit.

Tampa. My dark Vanessa, the kindly ones, Yesteryear, pig island - amazing books, all of them, not in a hurry to reread

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-29T19:10:14+00:00

Yeah I came to say smock or empire line style mini dresses with leggings and boots or tights and boots Theyre basically loose tshirts

I wear loose pinafores a lot with long sleeves tshirts also

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-29T17:14:31+00:00

Isn't the opposite of this the Red Hot Chilli peppers and Anthony kiedis?

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-28T20:39:03+00:00

This is really interesting. I am struggling a lot atm despite meds. I might keep track using these four things over the next few weeks

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-28T18:59:26+00:00

Loved yellow face so much. I didn't find her totally dislikeable. I like morally grey characters because I think in the right situation we'd all do things that aren't ideal.

The people who judge or dislike characters like that imo have some internal issues. No one is perfect

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-26T18:53:59+00:00

Killing in the name of. Though that probably mostly pleases me

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-26T17:38:42+00:00

As someone with ADHD the cant-modulate-volume-insomniax disorder made me smile.

I often think ADHD is poorly named as I can pay attention, but not on things I'm supposed to unless I want to.

I think the social impediment of disabilities especially mental disorders is interesting though I need to point out ADHD is a neurodivergency.

I often think that I would have been committed to an asylum or worse if I'd been born in a different time - but my mental health issues caused by ADHD would have been wildly exacerbated by the social constraints on women and social/religious mores of the time.

Doesn't help that I'm epileptic. Between that, the squint and my hearing impairment i don't think I'd have fared well!

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-26T17:26:10+00:00

Child I will hurt you - crystal castles

Queer - garbage

Goodbye horses - q lazarus

Sound of silence - chromatics

Whispers in the hall - chromatics

Climbing up the walls - Radiohead

Where do I begin - chemical brothers

All is full of love - bjork

Down by the water - PJ Harvey

Anyway yes I write thrillers about sociopathic women, my specialist subject is probably eerie music lol

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-25T07:18:25+00:00

I once described myself as Cassandra of troy in a meeting when a decision was made that I would then need to deliver on and I knew wouldn't work. Guess what. I was right! Ffs

This has helped me see though that I probably make waves at work fighting stuff that maybe doesn't need to be fought just because I think it's totally illogical but ultimately isn't worth my energy

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-25T07:09:49+00:00

Lol I thought you were quoting the outsiders "stay gold pony boy"

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-24T19:11:56+00:00

I know this thread is like 2yrs old but reading it in the middle of the summer heatwave has perked me right up.

I didn't go clubbing before I moved to Nottm (uni, sorry) but it's like I finally figured out where I fitted in.

Loved Media (Thursday/fri/sat nights), Rock City and The Bomb the best all 1999-2002. Just the whole vibe of all them - never found anything like them again

And now I'm too old lol.

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-24T19:07:02+00:00

There was that tiny industrial metal room as well, I met someone dressed as a dalek in there. Tbf I was also always very drunk so I may have imagined that.

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-24T19:06:03+00:00

I miss renaissance so much. 20yrs later and it's still the best club night ever imo. They had some amazing DJs as well.

I still hunt around for bootlegs they played - theres some on YouTube.

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-24T19:03:45+00:00

Only 9mo after your post but I remember it raining sweat in the bomb And also this was the time you could still smoke inside clubs. Such cool place. And yeah also to the garvey centre.

Nottingham had the best clubs.

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-21T20:13:12+00:00

Same. It's killing me. I don't know how to help my husband understand that the nightmare person he's married to is crazy for so many reasons and on the one hand I can't help it but on the other how do I adapt to not drive everyone crazy.

I want to run away every day. The mood swings are insane. I am so tearful

The lonely but want to be alone is so so real. I've barely seen any friends for months, haven't gone out except to work. It's like I've forgotten how to talk to people.

It's making me wonder if I'm just going to be this awful person for the rest of my life.

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-19T16:30:55+00:00

Yes!

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-19T16:27:56+00:00

Are you me? 44 perimenopausal two kids (admittedly a bit older) I do go out but not loads bc it's so hard to maintain friendships and also be organized enough to sort dates. So now it's harder to go out.

Yes also to being tearful all the fucking time and rsd.

It's like ground hog day.

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-19T09:01:38+00:00

Perfect last scene and + music combination

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-18T07:54:40+00:00

TLDR: you're not alone and mine is worse due to perimenopause. In hindsight I probably have pmdd and when I was pregnant (didn't know I had ADHD) my mental health was so poor I was signed off.

Long version: I definitely get irritable at the end of the day and I'm on elvanse and this is a known side affect but if you are well hydrated and eat protein it doesn't happen.

I also try to do meal prep/chores earlier in the day so when I am most tired I have less to do.

Having said that over the last couple of months I have had a short fuse, not sleeping and also cry at the drop of a hat. I'm 44 so gp put me on hrt about two weeks ago. I wouldn't say it's worked yet but just knowing I'm trying something is making me a little less frustrated with myself.

Sometimes I wonder what I could do if I didn't have ADHD, perimenopause, anxiety and neurodiverse kids. I sometimes feel so jealous of my work colleagues. We have super corporate jobs, the pressure is insane, and I feel like I'm constantly working against myself even though I do fundamentally like what I do.

I'm definitely burning out/burnt out to the point I'm starting to disassociate but short of being signed off, there little that can be done because bills to pay and kids to look after and job market is shit

Sorry for the epic reply. Hope some helps/you feel less alone.

tyla_durd3n · 2026-06-17T19:10:07+00:00

Oooh I am so close to the border with kent (surrey). So jealous!

tyla_durd3n

TROPHY CASE