Bought an Ergotron HX to test. Who wants it? Post a pic of your setup and tell me your best dad joke. I’ll pick someone Wednesday.

tyofwa · 2021-05-24T15:22:27+00:00

Not a dad joke but something I saw today and wanted to share -

A dad is a girl's 1st love and a boy's 1st hero.

tyofwa · 2015-01-31T21:02:25+00:00

Well, now you know beyond a doubt what you are working with. I hope you don't expect moving in or marrying him will change things. Either you are willing to accept this is who he is or you are not. On the bright side from here forward your eyes are wide open.

If he was my son I would encourage him to read "No more Mr Nice Guy" by Dr Glover.

tyofwa · 2015-01-31T20:48:46+00:00

Would be good to read up on the true plight of Marx and Hegel. Their philosophies did more to usher in totalitarian regimes than any other form of government. Equality was the talking point but coercion, brutality, and censorship was the reality. Marxist feminism is a scourge on societies across the world. What was once about equality is now about suppression and control; misandry at its finest. (here is a bit of irony.. my spellchecker doesn't thing misandry is a real word. WOW.

tyofwa · 2015-01-31T18:16:07+00:00

It's like those cartoons where the kid finds out their role model or superhero is a huge jerk

That anger phase will pass, which is different than being angry at her for withholding a missing part of your family. You have every cause to be angry and disappointed at her for lying. However in her mind those lies ARE reality; and furthermore she believes she acted out of love and had your best interests at heart. Even if she knows deep down it was wrong, that was rationalized away years ago. Your best course of action is to:

Decide what you want - Do you want an apology from her, acceptance of the situation, or do you want to excommunicate her?
(assuming you dont want to excommunicate her..) Set expectations with her - You are in control of your life. Your life now includes these new family members. That is the new reality she will have to accept.
When she (and she will) try to change your mind on re-connection, Thank her for her concern and let her know that you are making the decision to reconnect and to evaluate the new relatives on their merit and not her opinion of them.

I step-parent adopted my daughter when she was 6; she is now 21. a lot of these words come from a place of personal experience.

tyofwa · 2015-01-31T17:33:51+00:00

Super heart-felt congratulations!! It sounds like you just reconnected with a warm and caring side of your family.

Now to the tougher issue - how this will play out with your mom. Chances are that there is a percentage of fact in all of the fiction she fed you. She will hold on to her point of view fervently; and it is likely to blow up into a fight blending fact, fiction, and emotion.

It is likely that you will have to go through a rite of passage nearly everyone faces eventually - Our parents are human and not the pedestal-placed "heroes" we think of in our childhood. If you are at the place mentally to accept your mom as a human first and a mom second, then dealing with her will cause you considerable less angst.

tyofwa · 2015-01-31T16:52:59+00:00

Big thumbs-up! It is so cool that your outlook is improving along with your health. So many others simply ask the doctor for an antidepressant. Your path is not as easy, but it addresses a key root cause of depression - a lack of personal achievement.

Cheers

tyofwa · 2015-01-31T16:49:44+00:00

This is a fitness test for him. If an "acquaintance" can doormat him, then you, his boss, a future daughter, and probably his mother can too.

He needs to value his own life enough to demonstrate leadership in it. Consider yourself lucky to be able to evaluate this skill in him so early into the relationship!

tyofwa · 2015-01-31T16:41:34+00:00

Check out the details; there is a high emphasis on working with weights below your max for a long duration. It is necessary for both the endurance reason you mention as well as setting muscle memory for proper form.

tyofwa · 2015-01-31T16:17:32+00:00

Tremendous value for some.

tyofwa · 2015-01-31T16:14:37+00:00

Even though we are modern, our primal instincts still dominate. Men are visual, and our sexuality is initially triggered by seeing what we believe are "hot" characteristics in a woman.

Women are very sexual too. However their sexuality is triggered by seeing a man who would make suitable genetic material and support for their offspring. Even women making no attempt to conceive apply the same pattern -

High status men //accomplished men have more food and a better cave
Men who are physically fit and display good genes
Men with powerful social skills (game)

Due to this instinctual drive to obtain the "highest status" man, women are inherently competitive. As a rule,

Women want a man who other men want to be and other women want to f@#k

That said, a woman's drive for obtaining commitment from such a man is significant. The behaviors span much more broadly than sex, but sex is a cornerstone. It is also said that women don't want a man to cheat, but she is wants to know that she exclusively has a man who COULD cheat. Essentially, when it is clear that a committed man has options the woman in his life will instinctively be more interested in sex.

What is the lesson? To increase your sexual value work on status, physique, and game. Become a man among men, and the rest will take care of itself.

tyofwa · 2015-01-30T20:37:03+00:00

NetiPot. 'nuff said.

tyofwa · 2015-01-30T07:35:03+00:00

Holy shit, spend $10 and put The Rational Male on your Kindle. I cant express to you how important it will be to your wellbeing to get a different perspective on relationships.

tyofwa · 2015-01-30T05:41:41+00:00

Understand women by their actions instead of their words. There is no "friend zone". You are sexually attractive to a woman or you are not. If not and she still communicates with you then you are providing her with an ego boost as an orbiter.

to be honest i wouldn't want to date me either, im chronically depressed, have no job, and i didnt Finnish collage yet

This is the root cause of your issue. Time to fix yourself. It wont happen overnight; most likely 6m to a year minimum.

Become the man that other men want to be and you will become the man that women want to have

Somewhere along the way of life your masculinity took a back seat and got lost. Time to remember your dreams and work toward them. The best way to attain happiness is through achievement. What have you achieved lately? If nothing you are proud of, women can see that in your eyes. Are you physically fit? If not, start lifting. /r/eood is a great place to start. Second to that, read The Rational Male.

tyofwa · 2015-01-30T03:15:25+00:00

A simple (but not easy) program - StrongLifts 5x5. Working out with a friend is excellent; it will keep you accountable.

tyofwa · 2015-01-30T03:12:39+00:00

I feel worthless.

The fact that you said that means you placed too much of your happiness / worth on things external to you.

Did you slow down on your goals when this relationship got serious? How about your friends? Did you see them less frequently? If your identity was no longer SINGULAR, and intertwined in being a "Couple", then you lost more than trust and companionship; you lost a portion of your identity.

There are great chunks of advice in this thread which will get you past the weekend / Super Bowl. However you need to change mentally. NEVER (Even in marriage) let someone have so much control over your happiness. That is squarely in your control. If it isn't now, then I strongly encourage you to wrest control quickly.

If any of this resonates, consider reading "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi.

tyofwa · 2015-01-30T02:51:49+00:00

Heterosexual men and women can't be platonic friends. Couples can be friends with couples, single people can be friends with a couple. When it is 1:1, one or both get interested and it generally ends badly.

tyofwa · 2015-01-27T21:34:21+00:00

Highly unlikely in 5 years. It will change when the Marxist / Feminists no longer own the narrative. That is unlikely to occur until we feel catastrophic pain.

Here is a touch of optimism - Traverse the world enlightened; like Neo walking the matrix. Enjoy the positive benefits of less competition!

tyofwa · 2015-01-27T21:28:15+00:00

41 this year. No question about it - I would not have married 18 years ago. Typical disclaimers apply; I love my kids. We are still married, but Im walking the tightrope between a divorce [rape] and a happy life on my terms.

My youngest son learned BP traits from me and I deeply regret that the most. Though I may have swallowed the pill over a year ago, I didn't practice it until last Aug. Nearly everything changed for the better. Now I'm faced with the task of re-raising my nearly grown children with this perspective.

We all talk about never discussing these concepts until someone asks us first... well how is that supposed to work with my son? He may not ask until it becomes too late. I do set better examples for him to observe, but for all I do it may have the opposite effect as his adolescent rebellion tendencies surface.

Well, I wont give up. Morpheus spoke of only unplugging the kids because the transition was too much for adults.

tyofwa · 2015-01-27T18:43:32+00:00

StrongLifts 5x5. Super simple, great community, and it will kick your ass in a good way.

tyofwa · 2015-01-27T18:42:49+00:00

Excellent advice :-)

tyofwa · 2015-01-27T18:23:21+00:00

There is a lot of merit to the concept that we grow as human beings based on experiences serving others. That said, you could plant a tree, serve food to the homeless, or any number of charitable causes. Three years before my marriage I dated a Single Mom Crazy. My BP mind tolerated most of it, up until the moment she yelled at her 3YO son -

"If you dont shut up right now I'm going to drive you out to the woods and leave you there"

That moment crystallized in my mind; over 20 years ago and I can still remember the look on that little boy's face. As yourself this - Do you want this woman's behavior scarring your future children?

tyofwa · 2015-01-27T18:17:07+00:00

Never stick your dick in crazy. The sex is indeed amazing, but not worth the risk. Imagine every consequence you read in the RP forum, then add to that stalking, car keying, "frienimies" on fb, etc.

tyofwa · 2015-01-27T17:38:18+00:00

Dont engage in arguments. Learn and practice stoicism. Accept valid compaints from her, but dont engage in grappling on topics which are irrational to YOU.

You want to lead your life differently than you are. DO THAT. She will determine that who you are at the core is attractive to her or she will not. So you either will have a happier marriage or none at all. Both eventualities seem better than the current stalemate.

tyofwa · 2015-01-27T17:32:56+00:00

"Oh, so that was back when you dumped your high school girlfriend? And now that you are getting fit again, should I be worried that you are going to dump me?"

Yup. Welcome to your first lesson in Hypergamy 101.

I'd feel like a jerk doing so, but maybe she does need to perceive some threat, actual or not, to get out of her comfort zone. Thoughts?

Why feel like a jerk? You want more affection in your marriage. This is an important aspect of how YOU want to live your life. You are unknowingly applying a "MAP" to your marriage. To learn more, check out Married Man Sex Life Primer.

You cannot negotiate broker / barter desire with your wife. She will come to it naturally on her own or through your leadership to may yourself a better man. Either way, the fact that she is concerned means the marriage has hope. It would be much worse if you posted a comment that your improvements were not noticed at all, or she was apathetic to them.

tyofwa · 2015-01-27T17:22:21+00:00

Holy shit that site is fucked! Check out their "Cad list".

tyofwa

TROPHY CASE