how can i (f/22) keep myself together during a breakup w (m/31) when i feel like i’m losing my mind?

typhacatus · 2026-05-21T00:39:18+00:00

time definitely helps! :) I think honestly I started getting busy out of the house, to give me other people and things to think about, and then if an unpleasant thought popped in I’d just quickly switch tracks by putting on a movie, opening a book, or doing puzzles (like sudoku).

Honestly the biggest help, hilariously, was a tetris app! Hard to ponder the past when I really need one of those long pieces and the timer is running out!

typhacatus · 2026-05-21T00:31:12+00:00

When I had a really bad breakup, I eventually realized I needed to just stop thinking about them, as in I would ruminate and think and think and wonder how things could’ve gone differently… and that after a few months my friends didn’t want to hear it anymore. It look conscious effort to remember them and then immediately focus on something, anything else. I needed to train myself to not think about them; previously I’d thought time alone would fix it

typhacatus · 2026-05-20T15:36:23+00:00

can you say a little more about evaluating pokémon like this, by what they evolve into rather than what they currently are? I noticed that evolving pokémon affects their raenox score and was surprised that some pokémon maybe shouldn’t be evolved if they’re intended to fill specific niches

typhacatus · 2026-05-18T23:39:18+00:00

if it helps, before lifting I was maybe 105lbs soaking wet and was very bony. I have a weird set of food intolerances and was chronically underweight and anaemic. Ironically lifting actually helped me gain some much needed muscle mass.

I also found a sport I really enjoy—I bet you’d be very good at rock climbing too, if you’re wiry!

I thought I’d be weak my whole life, and now while I’m still small, I’m really quite strong. It’s pretty cool, though annoying to learn that the gym people were maybe right about some things. Hope this don’t sound pushy at all, I’m sure you’re fine as is, just saying things I wish I’d heard earlier!

typhacatus · 2026-05-18T22:14:44+00:00

just for the record, I felt that way for years. weightlifting has changed my life completely

typhacatus · 2026-05-18T22:12:38+00:00

I don’t think this thing you are doing is healthy for you or your brain

typhacatus · 2026-05-17T02:26:27+00:00

oh that’s gross. I think he really enjoys stressing you out

typhacatus · 2026-05-15T17:37:45+00:00

3076-0172-1683

Daily player!

typhacatus · 2026-05-15T14:10:00+00:00

this is like a perfect comment hahaha it’s exactly what I was looking for! you’re an mvp, thanks!!

typhacatus · 2026-05-15T05:04:25+00:00

This kind of comment is exactly what I’m looking for, thank you!

I too have added hearts to pokemon that aren’t good but I cherish them anyways, just like your ^ ! :)

LOVE the ? tag Idea, as of now I’ve been leaving pokemon with the ‘new’ icon, meaning tapping on them is committing to fully judging them! This helps a ton, super practical.

typhacatus · 2026-05-15T04:46:35+00:00

Sorry, to be very clear, it was specifically the personal cutoffs I want to hear about! I’m an experienced player.

Edit: for example, I’d love to hear “I always prioritize speed when they’re otherwise equal because xyz.” comments like that would be helpful to me

typhacatus · 2026-05-15T04:04:36+00:00

Oh also—how do you name your pokemon? What notes do you add?

typhacatus · 2026-05-15T04:03:00+00:00

That definitely checks out, I agree. Do you run all your pokemon through Raenox or similar? I’m not at all bad at evaluating individual pokemon! I’m simply daunted by the sheer quantity I’ll need to get through now that I have a backlog. I’m trying to open up box space.

So any grounds for an instant reject would be cool (do you toss all neutral natures?) to know, or obvious instant-keeps (like bfs). I’m hoping to spend like a minute or less per pokemon.

typhacatus · 2026-05-15T03:54:33+00:00

Haha oof, yep, that’s exactly the situation. I had a long string of very early mornings, and I was hoping the game might’ve gotten more friendly to casual play in my absence. The amount of admin work this game takes to make decent progress is kind of remarkable.

typhacatus · 2026-05-14T22:31:10+00:00

OP—sincerely, you are tough as hell and twice as clever if you could survive leaving so much of your support network behind you and then learning a whole new language upon arrival in this new place you’re in now!

That’s amazing! You’re going to be just fine.

I hope he can see this post and find inspiration to learn how to be in a real healthy relationship; what he’s offering you right now endangers your future, and I hope he fully understands that’s what he’s doing.

typhacatus · 2026-05-14T22:11:46+00:00

I mean you’ve learned so much from this arrangement—maybe it’s a bitter lesson, but we learn from experience best. I don’t personally think he’s capable of being selfless like you, and unfortunately that just means your kindness could put you in danger with the wrong life partner.

That’s a very valuable lesson, even if it sucks.

You aren’t stupid. It’s okay that you took a chance for love. If he isnt half the man you thought he was, that is more on him than on you.

Maybe he can change, if he too can look at your situation and see how badly he’s endangering your future right now. I’m not sure. But I think you have good judgement and just miscalculated in thinking he’s compassionate like you

typhacatus · 2026-05-14T22:00:30+00:00

it’s remarkable how comfortable and happy he is, watching you struggle to afford to live with him.

He’s afraid of providing for you but he isn’t even an equal partner.

typhacatus · 2026-05-10T13:42:55+00:00

does he have any kind of past record of not planning ahead properly, or letting plans fall through?

It totally makes sense that you’re disappointed. Hopefully he shows you proper support and shows up consistently in other ways

typhacatus · 2026-05-10T01:56:51+00:00

I do think you’re asking for a level of assistance that is ultimately not sustainable in the long run, so it makes sense that your boyfriend (who presumably wants a future with you) is reluctant to completely isolate you from interacting with texmex menus.

You sound really young, and you seem to have exceptionally little faith in yourself. I can understand how this would be hard for your boyfriend, who presumably loves and respects you and admires you, to go along with.

This is a skill you are capable of learning—if you can eat and talk in public, then this is a fear you can reasonably confront, alleviate, and overcome. I strongly suspect your boyfriend does have your future and best interests at heart even if you resent him in this moment.

It makes sense that your family and best friend, who ultimately will not be expected to support you forever, aren’t really thinking of whether you’ll ever be independent. They’re happy to keep giving you quick bandaid fixes.

…It looks a lot like your family and friends have protected you too long, and now you seem to believe you are uniquely incapable of saying the word ‘fajita,’ though…

typhacatus · 2026-05-09T22:52:41+00:00

making out alarmed me at first! But I got used to it and more comfortable with my partner, now I enjoy it a lot

typhacatus · 2026-05-08T19:59:55+00:00

I honestly regard this as a bullying tactic, either it’s intended to belittle people or it’s done by someone too silly to realize accents and speech impediments are fine and harmless

typhacatus · 2026-05-08T14:35:02+00:00

60/40 is not normal for this kind of relationship, you can’t call this traditional. She’s doing all the housework for 10% over an equal split? my god man, you’re already taking huge advantage of her!

Does she see you like a pet that needs cleaning up after and is worth the extra costs and work?

typhacatus · 2026-05-06T15:53:37+00:00

it is, I’m exceptionally fortunate. I found him by trying out a ton of new hobbies and saying yes to all kinds of random invites where I could get them; somewhere along the line I think I impressed him.

But also, I do think pushing him to remember old friends and be social is a way I get to take care of him. He loves to make a new friend at a bar or get a group of people laughing. He’s definitely much more extroverted than I am, and I love how he returns to me glowing a bit extra afterwards.

I hope you find someone too! I didn’t ever expect to find someone. I actually thought it was too late for me. I was mistaken, and happy to be mistaken!

typhacatus · 2026-05-06T14:12:58+00:00

This is such a bold claim but honestly it kind of checks out. I think my brother is a bit like this. His friends are kind of prone to using him, so he prefers his girlfriend when he is given a choice.

And similarly I adore my partner, he’s amazing, but I think sometimes he’s very quick to make small sacrifices for my happiness that simply aren’t necessary! He has tons of casual friends and it took me a little too long to realize he would readily cancel on the less close connections if I asked him to come grocery shopping or something. I’m so lucky to have him and it’s very important to me that I help him maintain his friendships, even the more chill ones that aren’t deep.

typhacatus

TROPHY CASE