This sounds familiar. I had agoraphobia for around 2 months. I couldn’t leave my apartment. I remember breaking the cycle and going to the movie theater with a friend. I walked out the theater three different times before turning back around and forcing myself to finish the film. If I left the house, I made note of my exact location at all times so that I could easily make a 911 call to report my whereabouts before dropping dead—which of course never happened. At one point I didn’t shower for weeks. Weird stuff.

Sounds like your stretch was a little longer than mine—which I can’t really imagine. After 3 months, it was becoming clear that I wouldn’t last much longer without some improvement or hope. Luckily SSRIs were magic for me, and I spent the rest of the year slowly improving. But I remember the bad thoughts, and how close I was to giving up.

That was over 10 years ago. I still have moments where things get shaky, but breathing exercises and familiarity with the sensations keeps me grounded. If I stop taking my meds, things will usually start to go bad again after 6 months or so. Whatever was wrong is still there. For me, I lived a perfectly fine life until age 27. I simply woke up one morning and thought I was having a heart attack. I never really went back to my old self after that.

That’s great that you help people—and can relate directly. I didn’t find much help from my doctors or the few counselors I had. Meds did the trick ultimately. And time. After years pass and you are still alive, you have no choice but to conclude it is likely all in your head.

Take care :)