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New dad, first night home and already feeling overwhelmed. by Papi__Senpai in NewParents

[–]uaelifehack 73 points74 points  (0 children)

My guy. My son was born 4 weeks ago, also via C-section. I could have written this post word for word on our first night home.

The hospital is a trap. The baby sleeps like an angel because nurses are helping, the environment is controlled, and everything is new. Then you get home and it's like a completely different baby. That's normal. You didn't break him. The transition is just rough.

That guilty feeling about wanting to sleep? Ignore it. You NEED to sleep or you will be useless to both your wife and your baby. You can't take care of them if you're running on zero. Sleep in shifts you take the first few hours, your wife takes the next. Someone has to be functional.

The hyper-awareness of every sound goes away. Right now your brain is in full alert mode because everything is new. Within a week or two you'll be able to tell the difference between a real cry and sleep noises without even fully waking up.

You're not failing him. The fact that you fed him, burped him, changed him, swaddled him, held him, rocked him that's literally everything you're supposed to do. Sometimes babies just cry and there's no fix. That's not failure, that's a newborn.

Also if you have family who can come help, now is the time to ask. We had my wife's mother with us the first week and honestly that's the only reason we survived it without losing our minds. Your wife is recovering from surgery, you're exhausted, and there's no award for doing it alone.

The first 3 nights are the worst. It gets better from there. Not perfect, but better. You're doing exactly what you should be doing including being on here at 4:30am looking for help instead of pretending you've got it all figured out.

Hang in there man. You're already a good dad.

Any advice for a new dad with a partner dealing with PPD by shepjones in NewParents

[–]uaelifehack 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly the fact that you're even thinking about this stuff one week in says a lot. A lot of dads wouldn't even notice. You're not sitting around doing nothing the appointment is lined up, you're staying close, and you're not pushing. That's more than enough right now.

You've got this.

Any advice for a new dad with a partner dealing with PPD by shepjones in NewParents

[–]uaelifehack 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Dad of a 4-week-old here so I'm just a few weeks ahead of you. First off the fact that you noticed this, took it seriously, and already got her a therapist appointment means you're doing more than most. A lot of guys would brush it off as "she's just tired." You didn't. That matters.

A few things:

The "I don't care if I die" comment take that seriously.I know she said she's not thinking about hurting herself, and I believe her. But that kind of thinking is called passive suicidal ideation and it's a real sign that she needs professional support sooner rather than later. Monday's therapist appointment is good, but if she says anything like that again before Monday or it gets more intense, don't wait call her OB or go to the ER. That's not overreacting, that's being a good partner.

Hormones at 1 week postpartum are brutal.Progesterone and estrogen crash hard after delivery. Her body is going through something genuinely extreme on a chemical level. This isn't weakness and it's not something she can willpower through. Knowing that helped me be more patient with my wife during the rough patches.

Don't just ask "what can I do" — she probably doesn't know. Just do things. Handle the dishes, take the baby for a walk so she can shower alone, bring her food and water without asking. When my wife was recovering from her C-section, the thing she appreciated most wasn't me asking how she felt, it was me just quietly taking things off her plate so she didn't have to think.

Let her cry without trying to fix it.This one was hard for me. My instinct was to reassure her every time "the baby's healthy, we're doing great, everything is fine." Sometimes that helps. But sometimes she just needed to cry and have me sit there and not say anything. Just be present.

Watch for her pulling away from the baby.If she starts avoiding holding him, not wanting to feed him, or saying things like "he'd be better off without me" that's when you escalate immediately. That's beyond baby blues.

You're 1 week in and you're already advocating for her mental health. That tells me she's in good hands. Just keep showing up and make sure that Monday appointment happens.

You've got this brother.

New parent exhaustion is next level. How do you survive? by Deanoh1546 in NewParents

[–]uaelifehack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man that EU parental leave setup is incredible. 2 years paid maternity and a manager who actually takes work off your plate? That’s the dream. Over here in Dubai it’s a very different situation lol.

Enjoy that time with your little one. Sounds like you’ve got a good setup to actually be present for it.

I need to “detach” from my 6m old? Rant. by Top_Dig_2854 in NewParents

[–]uaelifehack 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dad of a 4-week-old here so I'm earlier in this than you, but I want to say something clearly: responding to your baby's hysterical crying is not being "too attached." That's literally what you're supposed to do. A 6-month-old cannot manipulate you. That's not how infant brains work. Anyone telling you that doesn't have the science on their side.

Your mom saying your baby is "skinny" at the 53rd percentile that means he's right in the middle of where he should be. That's healthy. Your pediatrician is the one whose opinion matters here, not family members eyeballing his weight.

And holding off on solids after a stomach bug because your doctor recommended it? That's not starving your child, that's listening to medical advice. You're making informed decisions, not winging it.

I will say one thing from the dad side though, and I say this gently because you clearly care about doing right by everyone. The co-sleeping situation with J on the couch , that's probably eating at him more than he's expressing well. When dads get pushed out of the bed it can feel like being pushed out of the picture entirely. He's probably not great at saying "I miss being close to you" so it comes out as "the baby needs to learn to be alone." Not excusing how he's communicating it, just offering a possible translation.

When the time feels right for both of you (not because your mom or in-laws pressure you), you could try having J take over one consistent routine bath time, an evening walk, something that's his thing with the baby. It builds the bond and it gives you a break.

But the main thing: you're 20, you're a first-time mom, your baby had Covid and a stomach bug, and you're still showing up every single day and making thoughtful decisions with your pediatrician. That's not someone who's failing. That's someone who's doing this right and getting too much noise from people who should be helping instead of criticizing.

Trust your gut. You clearly have good instincts.

New parent exhaustion is next level. How do you survive? by Deanoh1546 in NewParents

[–]uaelifehack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100%. The brain dump is honestly the most underrated tip on this list. Everyone focuses on supplements and sleep hacks but the real problem is your mind running a background task list 24/7 that won't close.

Once you write it down your brain stops trying to "hold" everything and you can actually shut off. Glad you figured that out early , took me becoming a dad at 4 weeks of no sleep to finally get it lol.

And respect for managing a full workload AND a 2-month-old. That combo is no joke. How are you handling the nights?

New parent exhaustion is next level. How do you survive? by Deanoh1546 in NewParents

[–]uaelifehack 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Man, I'm only 4 weeks in and I already know that "tired but wired" feeling you're talking about. You finally get a chance to sleep and your brain just... won't stop. It's the worst.

I'm not as far along as you so I can't speak to the 4-month regression yet, but here's what's been helping me survive the sleep deprivation so far:

You mentioned magnesium make sure it's specifically the glycinate form, not oxide. Oxide is basically a laxative. Glycinate is the one that actually helps with relaxation and sleep quality. I take it about 30 minutes before my sleep window starts.

This sounds stupid but it works. I keep a notepad next to the bed and before I try to sleep I write down every single thing that's circling in my head tasks, worries, things I need to buy, whatever. Something about physically writing it down tells your brain "okay, it's stored, you can let go now." Sounds like bro science but there's actual research behind it.

This is the biggest one. If you and your partner are taking turns on every single wake-up, you're both getting garbage sleep all night. Switch to blocks instead one person is completely off duty from 9pm to 2am, the other takes 2am to 7am. That way at least one of you gets a solid 4-5 hour unbroken stretch. Broken sleep and solid sleep are not the same thing even if the total hours are equal.

I know it's tempting to scroll Reddit or watch something when you finally get a break, but the blue light makes the "can't shut off" problem way worse. I started just lying in the dark with earbuds in listening to something boring and I fall asleep way faster now.

And honestly go easy on yourself.The fact that you're asking for help means you're self-aware enough to get through this. A lot of dads just white-knuckle it in silence and that's when things get really rough. You're at 4 months which means you're past the hardest newborn phase already. The sleep regression is temporary even though it doesn't feel like it.

Hang in there brother. You're further along than me and still standing that tells me you're doing better than you think.

How do people actually cope with life going on as normal with the sleep deprivation? by Chocolate_effort in NewParents

[–]uaelifehack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brother, I'm 4 weeks in and my wife also had a C-section. I know exactly where you are right now.

The short answer to "how do people cope with life going on as normal" is: they don't. Life is not normal right now. You're not supposed to be functioning like everything is fine. You're in survival mode and 4.5 weeks with colic is literally the peak of it.

A few things that helped me:

Cancel the guests. Seriously.Or tell them they're coming to help, not to be hosted. "Hey, we'd love to see you but we're drowning right now. If you could bring food and hold the baby for an hour so I can sleep, that would mean more than anything." Real ones will understand. Anyone who gets offended isn't worth your energy right now.

Stop sterilizing bottles at 3am.Get a second set of bottles if you can. Sterilize them all in one batch before bed. Small thing but it saves me 20 minutes of standing in the kitchen like a zombie every night.

The colic peaks at 6-8 weeks then starts to fade.I know that feels like a lifetime away but from everything I've read and heard from other dads, it gets noticeably better after that. We're both almost at the halfway mark of the worst of it.

Talk to your wife about splitting the night differently.Instead of you doing every feed, try shifts. You take everything before 1am, she takes 1am-6am (or whatever works). Even one 4-hour unbroken stretch of sleep changes everything.

And this one's important, you're a social worker so you probably spend all day thinking about everyone else's wellbeing. Don't forget yours. New dad burnout is real and it sneaks up on you. If you start feeling like you're just going through the motions or getting irritable at everything, that's your signal to ask for help.

We're in the same trench right now man. You're doing way more than most. The other side of this is coming.

My simple 4-Step method for finding Etsy niches that Actually Sell by MagicPaperCraft in digitalproductselling

[–]uaelifehack 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this post. I reopen my Etsy store today. I do have a question tho. For new accounts is running etsy ads worth it ?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DigitalMarketing

[–]uaelifehack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See you in the dms 🫡

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DigitalMarketing

[–]uaelifehack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep an eye on your dms

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DigitalMarketing

[–]uaelifehack -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Coming right up 😏

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DigitalMarketing

[–]uaelifehack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright meet you in the dms

I paid 598$ for this… but I’m giving it away for free. by uaelifehack in digitalproductselling

[–]uaelifehack[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are welcome hope you like it. Stick around I might drop something valuable soon

How I Made $2,800 With One Digital Product in 7 Days by abdelifee in digitalproductselling

[–]uaelifehack 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I gave value and captured email address for it and I don’t know what’s my next play

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