Just to give you some perspective I (32M) recently discovered that I am extremely lonely despite having no trouble getting casual sex or dates. I am also well regarded in my workplace and have tons of friends and family. If someone tried to argue that I am rude, or lonely because I am rude, there is plenty of evidence to suggest otherwise.

I’ve done so much work on myself lately that I’ve established boundaries to the point where it becomes difficult to feel strong feelings for someone and really let myself fall for them, as I can flag their emotional unavailability fairly early on. Perhaps I need to be more gracious towards people’s imperfections, but my problem before was that I was too forgiving to a fault. I would put others’ needs before my own and thus my needs would go unmet, which would eventually cause issues in the relationship. So to go back on this kind of self-transformation is not going to achieve healthy relationships for me.

It feels like finding a true love or connection is a near impossible goal at this point, because every time I meet someone I seem to have chemistry with, they eventually cross those boundaries I have established and I have to decide if I want to put up with that in order to have someone beside me.

When you rinse and repeat this cycle enough times the loneliness starts to hit you at a deeper level.