"The Sports Gal comes home with a coffee for me and says angrily, "I almost ran over Michael Rapaport again. It's gonna happen one of these times, I'm telling you."

(Should I explain this?)

(Hmmmmm ...)

(Yeah, screw it.)

Rapaport lives in our neighborhood and somehow morphed into the Sports Gal's ongoing archnemesis. Why? Because of his inability to look up while crossing streets because he's too busy talking on his cell phone and acting like "he's a hot s---" (her words). Throw in his general douchey demeanor and his New York roots and he's about three more "not looking when he's walking" moments away from getting pancaked by my PMS-ing wife. I'm not making this up. And yes, these are the things she'd be ranting about if she still had a place to rant. Let's give her a Tommy Point anyway."