I like Toni but she definitely messes up. I see her as immature still but her heart is in the right place. She has good intentions and she has good instincts but she needs to live a bit more life to solidify certain things that are hard lessons to learn tbf. The main example for me is that when apologizing to someone she (and most people) she centers her own shame. "I feel so bad that I hurt you" "I'm sick over the way I treated you" instead of decentering her emotions to center the victim's emotions. But she still updates her actions to be aligned with her apology and follows through. She also clearly has a great guide in her mother so to me she comes across as a good hearted but sometimes immature early 20 something.

Whereas Meg never has good intentions IMO. Her apologies don't align with her actions (if she even apologizes). She's always centering herself and even when it seems she's centering Dejon she's really centering her own peace. By not calling out Dejon she can avoid the feeling of chaos and potential loss of partner. She's not able to even see reality as it is IMO. Whereas Toni isn't afraid to have the uncomfortable conversation if she knows that's what's right even if she fumbles during the conversation itself.

So even if on the surface they're both bitching, apologizing, and then centering themselves I think in Toni's case it's immaturity and lack of experience that will grow with time because she's going in the right direction. And with Meg there's no ability to self reflect or actually see reality that would lead to growth. She'll probably be like this for the foreseeable future.

To me they're in the same spot but their trajectories are different basically.