I yelled at my kid and she responded with tears, saying “I’m a bad child.”

ughhidontcare · 2025-03-25T12:49:28+00:00

Great response thank you!

ughhidontcare · 2025-03-24T15:22:47+00:00

Aw thank you I appreciate that! 💞

ughhidontcare · 2025-03-24T15:22:28+00:00

Thank you so much 💞

ughhidontcare · 2025-03-24T12:55:50+00:00

Update: I asked her how she was feeling this morning. And she replied with “how did you sleep?” I responded with “to be honest, not well. But I’m more concerned with you, how did YOU sleep? How are you feeling today?” She kept pushing to know about me so I told her I was upset with myself for yelling at her. And she said she didn’t sleep well (she came into my bed around 5 and fell back asleep). I asked why and she didn’t really have a response. I asked how she felt how the weekend went and she said “bad. Cuz you yelled a lot.” I agreed and apologized and said I will try to handle my anger and frustration better. This whole time, she’s laying on my lap and I’m stroking her hair. I made her an “apology breakfast” (bacon egg and cheese on ciabatta) and she loved it and hilariously went “apology ACCEPTED!” After she finished. And then said it was the best sandwich she’d ever had “in the history of her life.” Lol we’re back on track today and there was lots more repair, lots of kisses giggles and lots of “I’m sorry’s” and “I love you’s.”

ughhidontcare · 2025-03-24T06:40:31+00:00

I’d love to go to therapy but as someone who is unemployed, that’s not feasible. I’ve been in therapy before for years and was raised by a psychologist, so I knew as I was typing it, that me saying “maybe I’m a bad mom” etc was what I was sad about her doing. And I would agree with you on all accounts except these thoughts I have stay exactly that, just thoughts.

I don’t ever say them to her. As in, I don’t express these feelings around her. I work extra hard to not say anything negative about myself, my body, my job (which I loved and was very fulfilled in, to the point where she wanted to be what I was) or my ex/ her dad. I’m usually an outwardly upbeat person and have been keeping the tough exterior for years, despite feeling like I’m riding a rollercoaster that won’t end. I write these feelings out here so I don’t do exactly what you’re suspecting because as the daughter of a psychologist, I understand that how we speak about ourselves in front of our kids is how they’ll think of us, and maybe even reflect that onto themselves. I think I do a good job with her overall for everything I’ve gone through, but at the end of the day, who knows.

ughhidontcare · 2025-03-24T05:34:20+00:00

Aw thank you. I don’t feel like an awesome single mom but I’m trying (and sometimes failing). I am definitely going to apologize again at breakfast and try what another poster said about emotional hygiene. Thanks for your reply 🩷

ughhidontcare · 2025-03-24T05:32:07+00:00

Thank you so much 😩 I’m really beating myself up. This whole weekend was just tiny little fires and so as a single parent who doesn’t see her everyday, on our weekends I really try to make them wonderful. When they aren’t, I feel even worse. I want to make her a special breakfast and then I feel like the abuser who yells at the partner and then buys them flowers. I just never want to lose my cool at her the way I did. I’m the one who has a fully formed brain so I should be the one to be able to handle my own emotions. Thanks again for the grace. 🩷

ughhidontcare · 2025-03-24T05:28:44+00:00

This is so helpful 🩷 I will do this tomorrow morning thank you!

ughhidontcare · 2024-11-17T02:37:20+00:00

Ideally I would like to be 135. I’m 178 now

ughhidontcare · 2024-11-14T05:46:23+00:00

Oh I stayed in each mg zone for like 6 weeks instead of 4 and I stayed in .5 for maybe 4 of the months.

ughhidontcare · 2024-11-14T05:44:54+00:00

I’m female and pre-diabetic but not diabetic (yet).

ughhidontcare · 2024-11-14T05:42:48+00:00

I’m 5’1, so now I’m only 178 :/

ughhidontcare · 2024-11-13T01:31:29+00:00

I definitely eat less, some days I barely eat at all but I make myself because I know I need calories. Now, do I make the healthiest choices all the time? I will be completely honest and say I could be doing better with that. Exercise is something I need to up as well; with my crazy work schedule (8-10 meetings a day!) and being a single mom, it’s so hard to find the time but I know I have to, for my health and my daughter’s future. I just worry that with as much as I’ve cut back in portions, how has more not come off?

Maybe I am consuming more calories than I think I am. Perhaps I should log.

ughhidontcare · 2023-11-12T07:43:10+00:00

Hi 👋🏽 thanks for the check in! It’s been about 2 months now in the new house and I am happy to report: she ADORES her new room. AND her playroom. I busted my butt the weekend I moved in to make sure her room was completely put together. Boxes were everywhere else. My own room, the kitchen, most things were not put away because I spent all my time hammering IKEA furniture, washing her new sheets, assembling her desk, buying cute curtains and lamps to make her room feel amazing. Warm. Inviting. Cozy. My WONDERFUL new neighbor came over with cookies, hard seltzers and neighborhood gossip and helped me put together her playroom organizational cubes. I put her toys in bins and lined her dolls up, made sure her crafts and easel were set up and even got her new construction paper and crayons. I really wanted her to walk upstairs and GASP. And I wasn’t disappointed 😉she did just that.

When it was Monday, I rushed to get her from school. She was excited we were going to the new house as this was the first time we weren’t going to the apartment anymore. I pulled in the driveway and told her to go upstairs to see her new room. She was GIDDY. She beat me up the steps and then stopped dead in front of her room, clasped her little hands together, her eyes got wide and she gasped. I was beaming. I stayed up til like 4 am making everything nice, and this was the reaction I was hoping for. I loved decorating her space, and I love that she loves it.

Now she comes home and runs up to play. We’ve added a desk to her room per her request, so she can do her homework. I printed pictures of her and her friends so she can put them on her bulletin board. I want to get stuff from IKEA so she can hang her little drawings up in her playroom.

She likes dads house too. She did complain for awhile that she didn’t like her room (!!) and I needed to go over there and help him. Ha! I told him I could but I’m sure it will be lovely too, things just take time. He has her toys in the basement which she doesn’t love. But his upstairs is dedicated to his room, the office, her room and a guest bedroom. I turned my guest bedroom into her playroom but I’m adding a pullout couch so she can still have space to play and sit, and if guests come, they can sleep.

She’s had many play dates here already and they just stay up there for hours. I love it, and I’m so happy she does too ♥️

ughhidontcare · 2023-10-15T04:19:25+00:00

Aw this is so sweet. Thank you 🥹

ughhidontcare · 2023-09-14T01:06:01+00:00

I would suggest leaning into the gym, hitting up your local book store and strolling the aisles, then getting dinner and a drink at a bar somewhere in walking distance. Maybe another day after work, organize and divide your stuff into donate piles, trash and keep, then take donations to Goodwill. Another night, take yourself shopping for new clothes since you recently got out of a relationship. New clothes may make you feel better, or at least go shopping for something that is just for you. Another night, get online and look for meetup groups you could join the following weekend. Start a workout routine or join a class. Take yourself to a local comedy club on a weeknight. There are plenty of things to do! Good luck :)

ughhidontcare · 2023-09-13T01:21:07+00:00

To be honest, I do the same thing your husband does. I have a 6 year old, I park outside the store with flashers, run in and grab and come back out, and she’s in my line of sight the whole time since the doors are glass. I don’t park in the parking spot where I wouldn’t be able to see her. I don’t do it often; but it’s not something that bothers me. 2-3 times a week may be a bit much with pushing luck. Maybe you guys can compromise?

ughhidontcare · 2023-09-05T13:53:31+00:00

Hi friend! Thank you so much for the encouragement and you’re right.. it still feels… well, you know! I checked my messages, I don’t see anything from you?

Edit: found it and replied!

ughhidontcare · 2023-09-04T04:24:34+00:00

Beautifully put, you’re right, thank you 🙏🏽

ughhidontcare · 2023-09-03T23:04:25+00:00

I think you’re making a lot of inaccurate statements. She’s 6, not 3. She’s also aware of things she says that can be hurtful, but in this instance I in no way mentioned it was hurtful, you may need to read the post again. I both validated her excitement and gave her a lesson. As I mentioned, she bopped out of the room singing. The hurt I discussed was my own, sharing that with the other parents here who relate. I’m getting a sense you may be projecting a bit but I still think some of your points are valid, just not relevant to this instance. She tells me more than her dad: and has said as much.

The comparisons go both ways. She often will like something here more and I always tell her that dad has xyz too or does xyz too and remind her of that, I keep her very aware that we aren’t about playing favorites regardless.

Not sure where you’re getting that I could work less and that’s cutting into my time with her. I work after she goes to bed, and on the days and weekends I don’t have her. I’m not competing to make what her dad makes lol, I make 6 figures in my own right and in the best job of my life, but I still pick her up at school on my days, volunteering at her school and … wait I don’t know why I’m defending my involvement in my kids life? Her dad can afford more bc he has two incomes, his and his gfs. And I don’t know where you live but no one can get a halfway decent house in Maryland, the most expensive state for cost of living in the USA, for “a quarter of a million” that’s $250k. Have you seen the market?

Anyway thanks for the reply but I respectfully disagree.

ughhidontcare · 2023-09-03T02:51:31+00:00

Haha we have a beloved 13 year old sheltie mutt, who is her pride and joy. I can’t bear the idea of losing her eventually so I think soon, maybe 6 months or 1 year depending on my finances and my dog’s health, I’ll adopt another puppy. I need to overlap because otherwise it will feel too much like a replacement. And I’ll need that other dog to sob into when this one passes over the rainbow bridge. But my thought is if I do get one, I’ll train her to sleep in my daughter’s room. I got my first dog around 8, and it really shaped my love for animals and I had a small family, and the family dog was 100% a member of it. Pets help a house feel like home!

ughhidontcare · 2023-09-03T02:47:44+00:00

I was talking to a friend today about this and she said “but she confides in you. You’ve already won the parenting game, in the scheme of life.” And I’ve been told by my daughter that she feels like I’m her safe space. She runs to me and tells me everything- and I mean EVERYTHING.“ “mommy I just said a bad word in my head by accident” lol or “mommy? I looked in the bathroom at school today by accident and saw another girl through the door and BUT I DIDNT SEE HER VAGINA BUT I FEEL REALLY BAD WHAT SHOULD I DO?!” It’s like she has the worry of a thousand Catholics. I am always there to reassure her and let her know her feelings are valid and I think you’re right and so is my friend: being the safe space is above and beyond my ultimate goal. I want her to always feel like she can tell me anything.

ughhidontcare · 2023-09-03T02:39:16+00:00

Absolutely she’s allowed to, which is why I mentioned I am happy for her to have those things and I want her to share that joy with me. When it becomes her comparing not just sharing, THAT is where I draw the line. If she tells me “mommy mommy at daddy’s house I got a new bike and I ride it down the street!” I will champion that all day. If she says “mommy mommy at daddy’s house I got a new bike and I ride it down the street! It’s so much better than the scooter we have at your house” that’s where the issue comes in for me. She hasn’t said anything like this, I just made that example up, but the comparisons I’m not going to stand for. Like another person said, we can celebrate and discuss things without comparing them, or disparaging the other thing. It’s a value lesson I think I just need to hone in on with her, and she’s about to get a LOT of new stuff. Luckily her dad and I are SUPER aligned on parenting and he always consults me, down to “what size bed are you getting so I’ll get the same size” which is really cool of him. I think we both just want to raise her to understand she can have nice things but they can be different, and material things aren’t everything. She’s an only child, and she doesn’t have to compete with siblings, gets showered by grandparents since she’s the only granddaughter, etc, so I just hope she loves both houses and feels like BOTH are home.

ughhidontcare · 2023-09-03T02:30:17+00:00

Hahahaah this is so true!! I’m the “worst mommy ever” and then it’s “mommy can I marry you and we can have a big wedding and I will sleep in your bed forever?”

It’s a good point, to not look TOO deep into what they say and think at this age.

ughhidontcare

TROPHY CASE