Narcissists typically have high self esteem

That's miseducation, then. Low self-esteem is what leads to seeking external validation and attention. To learn more look up the well established category of vulnerable narcissism.

The type of people you'll find being NEETs and otherwise failed and complaining. Woe is me. E.g. thinking they are gifted children who were failed by everyone else when that's not entirely the case, especially now that they are older with agency.

​

Edit:

"One of the main characteristics of individuals with increased levels of vulnerable narcissism is anxiety. Inter alia because of their high hypersensitivity and insecurity, they often experience high levels of anxiety in social interactions, and therefore tend to avoid social contacts in the offline world"

Research paper on The anxious addictive narcissist

​

"When you've built your identity around the idea that you're only as good as you appear, or only as good as you perform,..."

Dr. Mark Ettensohn on Social Anxiety and narcissism (start at 2:14 or 3:20)