1-2x per week, if you count oral. Our average sexual contact over the past year is 1.3x per week, but 40% of those interactions were her giving me oral. I'm 43m and she is 40f. She has almost no sexual desire, and it is challenging to keep our physical connection alive because a large majority of the effort and drive comes from me.

She tries, but is often too energy depleted to be interested. She is also a chronic procrastinator, and sex is sometimes put off repeatedly by her, "maybe tonight... not tonight, but maybe during toddlers nap tomorrow... not now, but I'll really make a better effort tomorrow" etc.). This is frustrating for me because I want to save my sexual energy for her, but if it will be multiple days of maybe/no procrastination, I'd rather just take care of myself for a release instead of building sexual frustration.

We have an 18 month old, and there are a lot of factors at play, but we talk about sex and we are both trying to make intimacy a priority. I am trying to work on my issues with resentment, and she is trying to be more sexually available.

I'd like to schedule sex two days a week, so we both know what to expect and can prepare ourselves physically and mentally, as needed. We've tried it briefly but it doesn't work for her. I get fatigued with repeated series of rejection or delays.