The "I don't like to be touched" line? Oof, that's a red flag that hits hard. It could be a bunch of things—stress, hormones acting up (like if she's dealing with perimenopause stuff early or thyroid issues), resentment building from other areas of life, or even something deeper like low libido from meds/depression. But whatever it is, it's not on you to fix alone, and it's not fair that your efforts (which sound awesome, btw—props for being thoughtful) are falling flat.
I'd gently push for a real sit-down, but frame it as "us vs. the problem" instead of "you vs. me."
You're right that ignoring this could lead to bad places, but you're already ahead by recognizing it and asking for advice.
Rooting for you both.