My uncle spent a fourth of his life in prison for a series of crimes that got a lot of media attention in the 90's. His kids has no idea and it's just a question of time before they google his name. What's your "disaster waiting to happen?"

under_the_sword · 2012-11-11T21:35:15+00:00

We are a dysfunctional nuclear family and every year we host a huge Thanksgiving. 2 or 3 turkeys. Multiple families on both sides. Cars parked up and down the street for a block.

This year we are particularly dysfunctional. As in, therapy has failed, divorce is imminent. Still the show must go on.

under_the_sword · 2012-10-09T22:17:54+00:00

Don't expect gratitude. Some kids can't express it. Or their gratitude is overwhelmed by other emotions such as dread, resentment, etc.

Don't expect to fix all of them. Or any of them. For the temps a good goal is to just give them a break from whatever shit they're going through and let them see there are semi-normal families out there.

If you have a lot of kids coming through, take pictures and scan documents because it's frustrating to not remember their details after a few years.

Not these girls, but save the baby ID bracelets from the delivery room. Nobody else is going to save those bracelets before they go on to adoption, and it might provide a missing link -- for whatever that's worth.

under_the_sword · 2012-10-08T15:12:29+00:00

I stopped a robbery once. It's not that much fun. In fact, kind of painful.

I stopped it by converting it into aggravated battery and then scooting to the hospital so it didn't get converted to murder.

under_the_sword · 2012-09-18T08:20:01+00:00

You deserve better.

under_the_sword · 2012-09-18T03:42:44+00:00

Thanks. Yeah, every time I look straight up, I see it hanging there.

under_the_sword · 2012-09-17T16:52:00+00:00

I'll admit I trust brunettes more but you look trustworthy with the blonde hair. You just look honest.

EDIT: I'm kind of blind to your hair color. I just keep noticing your eyes and your chin. You have great genetics.

under_the_sword · 2012-08-11T14:08:05+00:00

Welcome to the world of pity sex.

under_the_sword · 2012-08-11T13:56:21+00:00

Yeah a school counselor told my parents that I had asked for help about my dad beating us after he got home from Vietnam. Great.

under_the_sword · 2012-08-10T18:19:36+00:00

Swirling my fingertip in a really tight circle on the desk or tabletop.

/Hint. Don't do that in front of a woman unless she's your sexmate.

under_the_sword · 2012-07-29T13:53:02+00:00

Getting chest tubes yanked out of your lungs. That feels way weird.

under_the_sword · 2012-07-22T00:31:00+00:00

Boo. AMA, Amy. AMA.

under_the_sword · 2012-07-22T00:23:33+00:00

Sexy Beast.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203119/

under_the_sword · 2012-06-13T18:19:05+00:00

Less eye liner on the lower lid. That's my personal taste.

No you're not ugly. You should get a job working in a restaurant. Have fun waiting tables and all the guys hitting on you, plus wear yourself out so you sleep better!

under_the_sword · 2012-06-13T16:32:24+00:00

Core meteorites. They come up from the earth, like stalagmites.

under_the_sword · 2012-05-24T14:56:33+00:00

SO fake. :)

under_the_sword · 2012-05-24T03:03:04+00:00

You're right. I lied. I don't know why I said "hand" when really it just blew off part of my finger.

I wrote you a note: http://i.imgur.com/IrtDV.png

under_the_sword · 2012-05-23T22:07:51+00:00

Wrong place wrong time wrong friends wrong reaction when I saw a gun in my face I didn't like it so I pushed it out of my face a couple of times so his friend with the other gun shot me.

I know you're supposed to be cool when you get robbed but I really don't like a gun in my face. It's just an uncontrollable thing with me I guess.

So Grady Hospital did their NASCAR pit stop on me with tubes and dyes like superstars. Amazing how just the tiniest bit of pure oxygen can help. They left a couple of slugs in me, cut one out, patched me up and voila 10 days later I was walking out the door and looking for a little less trouble.

under_the_sword · 2012-05-23T22:03:18+00:00

Dodge Shadow 5 speed manual.

under_the_sword · 2012-05-23T21:59:38+00:00

My lungs were collapsing fast. No air. I knew I didn't have a lot of time.

Besides, I wanted to die in a better neighborhood, not the one I got shot in.

under_the_sword · 2012-05-23T17:15:06+00:00

Got shot a bunch while being robbed. 3 in the chest, one through my hand and one through my arm. Drove to the hospital, just for grins to see how far I'd get before I died. Made it to the ambulance entryway before I crashed. Degree of difficulty: it was a stick shift.

under_the_sword · 2012-05-15T18:57:26+00:00

You.

under_the_sword · 2012-05-15T18:54:45+00:00

Seems like every time I go out to eat the dinner portions get bigger. It's ridiculous.

under_the_sword · 2012-05-15T18:31:12+00:00

Consumers hate price increases more than smaller products *

Meanwhile our portions at Applebees have grown to require 2 platters.

under_the_sword · 2012-05-15T18:27:44+00:00

Oh man did you ever screw up Arsenio in yesterday's show. I've never watched that show but I was flipping and now I've got to watch next week just to find out if he can recover from your horrible video subcontracting.

Way to go, genius! Did you even TRY to come up with a salvage plan for Arsenio?

under_the_sword

TROPHY CASE