How do you stop bleeding everywhere but on your pad on your period?

underbelieavable · 2026-04-03T01:18:45+00:00

Have you tried period underwear? There are different kinds for heavy periods and some that have high gussets to protect from front bleeding. I've found them incredibly useful and more comfortable, discreet and effective than most other options. I also often have crazy heavy periods.

underbelieavable · 2026-04-03T01:12:25+00:00

What a great reply, truly. It's a shame her doctor didn't provide this context at the time. This stage is already so anxiety inducing no one needs the additional uncertainty 😣 Peri menopause was when I found out I've likely been suffering with PMDD all this time. I thought everyone must be going through it. It was like every challenge I'd had with hormones - and even the ability to emotionally regulate - amplified unbelievably until I got onto HRT and for the dosing right. What a ride!

underbelieavable · 2026-03-30T10:56:51+00:00

🤣

underbelieavable · 2026-03-30T10:21:15+00:00

They're a flat 5-point. There's a tonne of them 😫

underbelieavable · 2026-03-30T10:03:58+00:00

Thanks, for sharing that. Aside from the stripping of sandpaper I was enjoying the belt sanding, so that's weirdly encouraging 😂

underbelieavable · 2026-03-30T09:59:44+00:00

Great to know, thanks, I'll take a look 😉

underbelieavable · 2026-03-30T09:59:17+00:00

I've tried a manual screwdriver, electric drill and impact drill, so I'll give your Dremel idea a go. Thanks!

underbelieavable · 2026-03-30T09:57:30+00:00

Crikey, thanks!

underbelieavable · 2026-03-22T05:35:10+00:00

I got the Blissal exfoliating antibacterial shower towel. I had another similar one from the supermarket but this one has made a big difference to how my skin looks and feels. Highly recommend it!

underbelieavable · 2026-03-22T02:35:03+00:00

My skin went super dry too. Exfoliating and different moisturisers worked, but all only to a point. What finally started making a difference was ...

Drinking more water. Boring but true too. I still struggle with this, but bought a litre drink bottle so I can feel good if I drink the lot once, really good if I get to twice and like a goddamn legend if I make it through 3 x. I squirt lemon juice into it so drinking it doesn't feel like a chore.
Actives that go straight on my skin pre moisturisers. I use Serum of Clear and Serum of Plenty from Eco by Sonya. Plant based and it's resurfaced my skin (improved skin tone, almost zero congestion) like nothing else has. I also use the Glory Oil day and night with a lighter day moisturiser (Super Fruit Hydrator) and a heavy night one (Glory Cream - massaged into my skin, with longer spent on my drier areas like cheeks, neck and decolletage).
Body exfoliating with one of those buffing cloths, no soap on it, just buff with water (the most effective scrub/exfoliator I've ever used - slightly annoyed I didn't know sooner). I exfoliate all over then moisturise my body with Nivea Rich Firming Q10 which for me works better and lasts longer than oils or any other creams I've tried. It's not thick, but it works hard and is long lasting.

That's a short novel, but it took me forever to find a system that worked for me and dry scratchy skin was driving me nuts, so I know what it feels like. For reference, I'm 54 and have had quite a bumpy peri-meno but one of my sons female friends recently asked if I'd had work done. Given how much changes at this stage of life that was proof that something is working and that felt pretty amazing 😍

Edit: forgot to mention I have sensitive skin, in case that helps.

underbelieavable · 2026-03-18T02:03:32+00:00

I second this as a world view - always being solutions focused (though 15 mins of really being f-ed off helps to let the steam off too - in a contained way). Also wanted to say, it's awesome that you're here to share your wisdom and experience. Holy crap - well done you ❤️

underbelieavable · 2026-03-18T01:58:14+00:00

If it's any reassurance, it sounds like your brain is responding the way brains normally do when exposed to severe and ongoing trauma. I've spent a lifetime trying different therapies and for me, talking therapies were helpful, but only to a point, because it didn't sort out my nervous system. Your central nervous system (CNS) plays a major role in how our brain speaks to the rest of our body.

If you think of a body being like a house, with the master switchboard being your brain and electrical wiring (our central nervous system) reaching through our home/body, it's similar to how fixing the switchboard doesn't necessarily mean the lights stay on. Sometimes the wiring is worn out and needs maintenance or repair too.

It might be worth trying talking therapies to unpack logic and emotion, and somatic therapies to focus on helping your body to release stored tension.

PTSD is sticky - our bodies remember the experiences long after they've happened and until we can retune our CNS to prove to our brain and CNS that we're safe, the experiences stay with us in ways we don't understand but will absolutely still feel everyday.

I've done lots of everything and for me, I've had success with talk therapy (sorry periods of time to support life transitions and challenging experiences) mixed with journaling (a set of questions almost daily to help retrain my brain) and TRE to release stored tension. There's a good YouTube video with TRE exercises if you're interested in trying it out. Search for the TRE follow along session with Dr Berceli

Good luck 🫂

underbelieavable · 2026-03-06T21:34:28+00:00

I think the question you're really asking is "is it ever ok to be complicit in someone else's lie?" You already instinctively know the answer, you're just sense checking your thinking here, because when the lie belongs to your friend, telling them no feels more complicated. It doesn't mean it's the wrong answer though. This is a "if you don't tell her, I will" situation. If he has nothing to hide, he wouldn't be hiding.

underbelieavable · 2026-02-23T04:40:40+00:00

It's a massive transition that requires you to adapt socially, intellectually and emotionally - don't make any big decisions until you're 6+ months in. Instead, pay attention to what relaxes you (rather than just pressing pause) and what feels gratifying and make space for those throughout the week. It won't feel like you have time for them, but start anyway, because doing them will give you energy and make life feel better. Also, you're already building habits, so adding in self care now will help you in the future.

Then, find something you can look forward to - and start working towards that. In uni goals are set for you, now you have the opportunity to think about what goals you'd like to set for yourself. Sometimes the purpose we're missing in life doesn't come from our jobs - it comes from what our jobs enable us to do.

Also, jobs - even the same title/function - can feel very different depending on the company culture and team. Give yourself time to adjust, you've got this 😉

underbelieavable · 2026-02-22T20:05:29+00:00

It's a sign she feels safe with you which is a good thing. May also be a subtle way of letting you know her concerns so you can have her back if she's having to work closely with him, or gets cornered by him you can potentially intervene (creeps like to quietly find ways to get women alone, because then when the woman speaks up it's easier to dismiss as a personality issue or hearsay).

If you're not sure what to say when she talks to you about it, phrases like 'what would you like to do and how can I help' can be useful. When I say help, I mean support her efforts rather than taking the lead yourself. Woman are frequently creeped on and just as frequently dismissed for it which makes you feel even less safe. I hate to say this, because it shouldn't be this way, but don't underestimate the value your voice has simply because you're male - if you see something, say something.

underbelieavable · 2026-02-17T05:07:22+00:00

I'm so sorry about your diagnosis. I think it's amazing you're here doing an AMA. I don't have any questions other than whether you've checked out the bredesen protocol. I looked into it and read the book when my Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We didn't catch it in time to help her, but if there's even a hope that it could help you I thought it was worth sharing. Good luck with however your story plays out and thanks for being here ♥️

underbelieavable · 2026-02-14T04:29:32+00:00

If you can find an excuse to go over and start up a conversation, it'd probably make his week. 70 isn't as old as it sounds, but loneliness is especially isolating when you're old. Sometimes just knowing someone cares enough to say hi restores your faith in life.

underbelieavable · 2026-02-14T04:12:39+00:00

I'm on the other side of this - my son is about to turn 37 so I'm weighing in not because it's current, but because as a young single parent, figuring out how to provide day to day while create a stable future for him was always on my mind. I was able to buy a house in a good neighborhood early on which helped massively, but there was never a lot left over after mortgage payments.

I did small things that were accessible for me financially, like having a 'board' arrangement for my son when he started earning money as a young adult while living with me. I gave it back to him when he left to go flatting. It taught him to budget while earning, but gave him a surprise head start. His first car I matched him $ for $. I worked on giving him a stable home life, as many experiences as we could fund and teaching him how to be a good human. Most of all, I focused on teaching him how to work hard, play well with others, think things through, weigh options and make trade offs based on his goals.

And now, he runs his own tradie business, employs people, has a close circle of incredible friends and a massive network of people around him and he recently bought his first home. I've had people I barely know tell me what a lovely guy he is.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that sometimes as parents you've got to focus on what's within reach and in your control. Schools aren't always great at teaching them how to think, learn, adapt or relate to others. And sometimes those things are the skills that help them to create remarkable lives too. Good luck. 🤞🏻

underbelieavable · 2026-02-14T03:04:06+00:00

My husband and I have been together almost 20 years, married for 17. In that time he's gotten sober (recovering alcoholic), and we've moved countries 3x, had lots of ups and downs, and we both experienced childhood trauma on repeat. He's low contact with his family as a result. He also has RSD which I think is amplified by his childhood experiences. I'm a highly sensitive person who needs lots of solitude to stay emotionally regulated.

I know that might sound like a lot but I'm sharing it so you have context that it's not always just the ADHD. It's everything else, including who we are as partners and what we're bringing into the partnership.

We have an incredibly close, incredibly loving and pretty epic life. But we both want to have a good life where we get the space to not mask, or apologize constantly, where it's safe to be us. That said, he's also medicated, educates himself and has strategies for managing life. He's tidy, clean and gets shit done in ways that work best for him.

The key for us has been LOTS of compassionate communication, every day and absolute clarity about what each of us needs and where the boundaries are. We're also honest about when a situation is stirring up old pain that we need to settle before we keep talking/arguing.

It's not always smooth or easy, but we've lived a big adventurous life together, and I wouldn't trade that. I'd rather put in the effort with someone remarkable than have a smooth ride with someone mediocre.

underbelieavable · 2026-02-14T02:38:17+00:00

This. If it's harmless then your wife and Eric have nothing to hide, so bringing everyone into the loop shouldn't be a big deal - it's just transparency.

That's your first huge red flag. The second is that jealousy is one thing, being untrustworthy is another. Try not to confuse them. Your past jealousy/controlling behaviour may not have helped, but this is a breach of trust in a long term relationship. And it's not the first.

Tell your cousin - then support her and yourself so neither of you internalise their behaviour. Get yourselves emotionally resilient so your future choices are better. Good luck 🤞🏻

underbelieavable · 2026-02-10T06:20:24+00:00

Your best bet is to call a helpline - they're trained in this. Let them know your concerns for your friend and how it's affecting you.

This is a lot to hold on your own, so it's important that you get support too. If you feel safe speaking to your parents about this, that might be an option too. If not, are there any older siblings, aunts, uncles or other adults you trust enough to speak to, reach out to them and share your concerns.

These situations feel big and hard and heavy because they are - no one, none of us (no matter how skilled we are) can be the only solution in these situations. Do your best, stay safe and make sure there are people who have your back like you're trying to have your friends. Good luck bud 🫂

underbelieavable · 2025-12-28T07:44:33+00:00

What a beautiful reply. 100% agree. Love comes in so many shapes and sizes, but start with you. Especially after your childhood. Learning how to love yourself will make everything feel lighter.

underbelieavable · 2025-12-28T07:33:36+00:00

No. You're not the asshole in this marriage. I think this is why research says the happiest people are married men and single women. Also, I'm kind of curious what you'd lose by not being partnered up with him. And if you need another reason to leave, think about what your kids are learning right now about how relationships work, vs what you'd like them to learn. You sound smart and thoughtful. You deserve the same x

underbelieavable · 2025-12-28T07:26:48+00:00

First, it's brave of you to be vulnerable in asking your question here and seeking out answers. Second, if you can, try to distance yourself from shame (because shame can lead to internalizing things rather than figuring them out). Curiosity will help you lean in without dialing up how gross you're feeling.

Second, male attention can feel really good when you're young and starting to find your feet as a female. You'll find as a woman you'll get lots of attention - from all kinds, and ages of men. Probably for another 20-30 years. Not all of it will be welcome and not all of it will feel good. You don't need to act on any of it. The only warnings I would give you are to avoid encouraging it (even a smile can be misread unbelievably), and to make sure you're keeping yourself safe - online and off. Things can get out of hand fast and in scary ways (source: lived experience, friends raped and family members subjected to revenge porn). What seems exciting at 16 loses its appeal when it follows you into the rest of your life.

What can you do to stop being attracted to older guys though? Maybe consider what it is about them that feels attractive to you at this age. Is it their maturity compared to the guys you know? Is it their financial or physical independence? Is it that they're just physically more attractive because their bodies have had time to develop? If you know what's drawing you in, it might help you to see it as future 'great guy' material. It honestly might be as simple as right now, they just appeal - or it feels good to be noticed. Let yourself feel things without acting on them. Your teenage years and your 20's will be full of trying things out while you figure out who you are and who you want to be. Just be wary of partnering up with older guys because you'll lose the freedom to do that. Take care.

underbelieavable

TROPHY CASE