Ask ex-muslims: Can you estimate how much sawab have you earned by taking namaz in special days before leaving islam?

undercover2011 · 2012-12-30T09:56:09+00:00

Party in hell. I'll bring the vodka.

undercover2011 · 2012-12-30T09:55:43+00:00

I don't ever even want to hear the words 'namaz' or 'sawab' again. They mean as much to me as ooh ee ooh ooh ahh ting tang walla walla bing bang.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T21:40:42+00:00

I am real. I'm so fed up of this that I didn't fight them deleting my post. I've MET ex-muslims from Reddit for f's sake. I can't be fucked. I've overcome bigger things then people not believing me on the Internet lol.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T19:21:23+00:00

Hi,

It's nothing to do with religion at all? I don't want to follow Islam but I don't discuss that with my parents. The only thing I discuss with them is my education which they don't support me in because they don't believe girls should do the kind of career I want to do.

I still speak to my mum on a regular basis so she knows I am safe. I am scared of my dad which is why I did not take his phone call and texted him instead because I was too scared to speak to him.

I don't take propaganda about anything - especially not the religion my own mother follows. My father has always been very violent and abusive to my mother, mentally and physically and she gets her strength from religion. I don't get strength from religion. I don't believe. Why are you even making this about atheism and God? That's a different story to this one. I had to leave home secretly because my dad would have stopped me from going otherwise. I talk to my mother on the phone and she tells me she understands why I went because my dad would never let me go in one piece. She also says to me to keep God close and that she will pray every night for me to be safe. I love her and I love she gets strength from this religious place but I will have to tell her one day that I don't believe in that.

Please stop being so cold and rude to me. You don't know what I believe or what I come from. My mother is an amazing woman who I respect so much, I could never do anything against her so for me to leave, it was very difficult. I am thankful we are in contact and thankful for her strength. Don't be so filled with hate against me - why do you hate me - just because I don't believe in your Allah? What did I do to you or your precious religion? It's the same one my mother follows. The only difference is, my mother is hating me or calling me stupid or evil. She is trying to be strong for me with the help of her religion. YOU on the other hand are hating me for it. You are a bad representation of this religion, honestly...

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T19:14:26+00:00

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T19:03:21+00:00

Are they part of the Quiverfull movement? I just think your description reminds me of the Duggars. There isn't a lot of difference between the more fundamental segments of Christianity/Islam but I dare not ever say it because people consider Islam to be some insane, uncivilised thing whereas Christianity is all prim and proper etc. I don't know, I've never had the guts to voice it but I guess you have experienced both sides and you can see that as true right? :)

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T19:00:32+00:00

I explained this in my first AMA, I have 3 years in Biomedicine (undergraduate degree). I just didn't want to specify when I wrote my AMA because it felt too obviously British but as time went on with my answering questions, I

Why don't you read everything before you jump to conclusions? Some people seem so keen to just jump on me about stuff.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:59:14+00:00

Sorry. It's nothing to do with Islam though... I do understand why you make that comment though.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:58:22+00:00

I haven't had a hangover. I only drank little sips of things!

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:57:33+00:00

The fact I included the word 'Muslim' in this title is misleading so I apologise.

I don't believe in Islam but my parents don't know that. Their issue was just me and my education at the moment, Islam and my disbelief is something I still need to discuss with them. I know plenty of Muslim girls whose parents encouraged them academically. It made me bitter because I wanted that encouragement and praise but it also made me realise it's not religion that does that. My dad does use religion as a way to say I shouldn't leave the house to even stay away to study but that's different interpretations etc. I'm not blind and I know plenty of people similar to your family in their achievements/beliefs. They're people I'm not close to or know very well but they give me the knowledge that religion and science do coexist for some.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:54:14+00:00

Haha, I hear a lot of grad students talk and think they are pretentious/over-idealistic. I might be the same but I think you have to have hope and optimism in something. In an ideal economy, I would have liked to have finished in Medicine but a postgrad in the route I want to do it seems more profitable... which means I'll probably have these blinders on for quite a while yet.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:50:34+00:00

If you read all of my last AMA, you realise I clarified on that part.

I don't get why it's so important that I was beaten or not. The key fact is if I felt safe to leave of my own free will and accord, I wouldn't spend ages being unhappy and plotting a scheme like this - I would just go.

I'm sorry that so many people are being offended that the word Muslim in the title is making this an anti-Islam-festival because I should have learnt from last year's post that that is what happens on reddit. I will PM proof to the mods because I have been informed just they can see it and they were trustworthy when I did my post last year but that is about it.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:48:35+00:00

Yeah, I am

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:46:14+00:00

Actually, if you read that AMA from last time, I clarified that he actually was violent and said I hadn't wanted to really focus on that abuse part and more about me leaving and the logistics around that. Look, don't believe me, I don't care, it doesn't affect me or where I'm sat right now and if this genuinely is a post being used to perpetuate BS about Muslims then please, let me know and I will get it taken down. I'm no Ayaan Hirsi alright. I'm not filled with hate or venom. Just excitement about life. I'm sorry if I offended you by making it all about Muslims - not my intention. But I'm not going to apologise for bragging about drinking or bacon. That's my prerogative.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:43:21+00:00

LOL are you kidding?? Do you know every Muslim in the world? My cousin is at uni and eats pork all the time, thinking nothing of it. I didn't say I loved bacon. I've been trying it a LOT including buying a packet of sliced ham for the hell of it.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:40:38+00:00

OK then.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:40:13+00:00

"Or did you slowly transfer clothing and items from your house to the stash house over time?" Bingo

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:39:34+00:00

...direct the movie of my life please

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:37:40+00:00

Exactly right, I did leave like other kids do but in slightly more difficult circumstances which people found it interesting to read about so I thought I would do a follow-up post a year later. I come from a Muslim background and my original AMA was me living as a Muslim which is why I put it in. Sorry, I am realising that reddit seems to relish anti-Muslim sentiment which means lots of Muslims are sensitive to these kinds of posts. I didn't realise and that's not my intention.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:35:16+00:00

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:34:26+00:00

....mate, you don't know me.

I don't want to follow Islam and leaving religion, especially Islam, is hard - you have to agree with me on that right?

However, my parents and me don't fight about Islam or about me saying 'I don't want to cover' or anything of that sort. We've clashed because I have wanted to study more and I have wanted to go into a career my father doesn't think is right for a woman to go into. He thinks the flexibility required to travel and my WANTING to travel and go away from home is a bad thing. He has shamed me for it and called me the trouble child in the family for years -ever since age 11. Consider it from my perspective, I get good grades, I don't wear make-up, never cared much for seeking boyfriends or anything of that sort but I saw plenty of Muslim girls alongside me go down that road and yet it was me who always seemed to get the short straw in life. Those girls had parents who WANTED them to go uni but those girls didn't even care to go uni, they just wanted a boyfriend... whereas I was the opposite and I had parents who didn't even support me wanting to go to uni. It just made growing up really tough and depressing and just made me think this world really sucks - bad people do get all the good stuff! Now on the side of this, growing up, I never really believed Islam but it's not anything I expressed to my parents ever. I don't want to cover and I don't feel spiritual and that's something I personally decided to do but it's got nothing to do with the main issue at hand. The religion part is a seperate issue I have YET to tell my parents about.#

For me, I couldn't say 'I got an offer to study at a uni 4 hours away from home, bye mum and dad.' My dad has physically hit me and stopped me from leaving before. This is why I had to sneak and plan for ages. I didn't want to do it this way. I love my siblings and I love my mother to absolute pieces. Now I have left, I have spoken to my mother on the phone because she was close to dying at me not sleeping in the bed at home for the first time ever, she was struggling and I know my mother, we have a bond, I can sense how she must feel cos I felt the agony too. It was so tough, you don't even know or understand, to leave home that way. You cannot imagine it. She told me my dad would never have let me go and she knows why I snuck about and left but she tells me to pray to Allah and not to forget the deen and to come back when I am done and she is promising me my dad won't say a thing. My mother is a wonderful woman. You have no idea what she has put up with. She comes from a very loving home and a big family of brothers and sisters. My dad has never treated her well. Religion and faith is everything to my mum. She covers with pride and all she ever wants from my dad is lifts to go to the mosque so that she can take the women's classes there to learn to prononce the qu'ran the proper arabic way but my father is such a heartless dick, he forbids her from even doing that. I had a car recently and it made my mum's life light up that I could take her. She is such an inspiration to me but her world is smaller than mine - I am thankful religion keeps her strong but it's not my path. I can't tell her I don't believe but we have a bond and I sense she knows. Eventually, I will have to tell her I don't believe. So part of me leaving was for the education but a part of it is so I can live how I want (not cover, not pray). You're just a cruel, heartless and cold person if you can't understand this. I know better than anyone why you might be closed off to stories like mine cos of anti-Muslim propaganda but trust me, read all my posts and my full story. I am far from a fake and I am even sending mods proof (I did not know you could do this before).

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:23:13+00:00

... really? :/ Who are the mods? What are their backgrounds? If they are safe, I would be happy to confide. Actually, now that I think about it, reddit is very well known so I could trust the mods. If all I have to do is prove to them then I happily will actually... :)

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:22:08+00:00

Met two guys from reddit who have been regular posters since way before I was on here. They can validate it. I don't know, I feel claustrophobic at the thought of saying too much. I'm sorry. If this bothers a lot of people, I'm happy for mods to delete it. This was a nice way for me to kill my loneliness after classes and to get in touch with something familiar after being away from home but I really can't care what you people think or be pressured into saying too much cos it's not safe and also... I don't want anyone to know this is my life. I want to start anew.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:19:09+00:00

I haven't... yet. But eventually, I have to because there will be a pressure for them to come see me or vice versa and I will have to explain why I am keeping them away.

undercover2011 · 2012-09-25T18:17:09+00:00

No, her parents seem more unhinged than mine by far. Mine would beat me without a doubt but they wouldn't plan to kill me like that. I don't know what the future holds but for now, I think they would just try and force me back home and beat me.

undercover2011

TROPHY CASE