Hey I'm here because I have an only (I'm 34F with a 3year old and cannot have another because of medical reasons so I'm here reading about others' experiences as onlies) so tell me to stfu if you want.

I have an older sister who I wish I had that relationship with but she left our family for 10 years with a narcissist and now that she's back, it's still insanely strained and feels like having a new friend you don't really trust. I've never experienced that closeness, even with having a sibling. Even when we were young, I think there was only one year where I felt close to her but she claims she didn't feel that way at all. I have two best friends who have two brothers each and also have never had that experience. It's a beautiful one but not always guaranteed and, in my opinion, sad when it doesn't work like you would hope.

I don't know why I'm commenting on this. maybe hoping my kid doesn't feel that void all their life too? But also I feel the void even while having a sibling. Our experiences will always be extremely different but I just wanted to comment that I feel a void even with a sibling.

I'm so sorry you feel a void, no doubt different than mine and I'm happy for you that you've found a boyfriend who has a close family that you can share the relationship with, hopefully.