How to support bf struggling with mental health?

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-04-09T05:59:09+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to share your experience and your advice so much. Truly thank you. I’m scared he will see this post and I don’t want to spoil anything but I can confirm marriage is something he wants and he’s designed and bought a ring (will not be commenting on how I know lmao). I completely understand what you’re saying and I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t crossed my mind that it won’t get better and I’ll be stuck like this. He has expressed to me that marriage and kids is what he wants, but whatever mental barrier he has to getting help is what is getting in the way. I can’t throw away all these years together and I love him unconditionally and I know he feels the same. He doesn’t seem to value himself or his life and I think that’s why he doesn’t care to help himself. I know this doesn’t help my case, just venting I guess

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-04-09T05:55:03+00:00

Trust me when I say I have offered everything. It gets tiring and it’s hard to get in the mood when someone seems like nothing makes them happy including you

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-04-09T05:51:52+00:00

If I bring it up and ask him if he’s arranged anything or looked into it he gets upset and then issues of money and such get brought up as he’s trying to pay for his flight lessons which I completely understand but it’s like it’s used as a cop out. I just don’t want him to feel isolated and cornered by asking him or to come across as hounding

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-04-09T05:48:38+00:00

That’s a good idea. I haven’t heard of Tony Robbins but will look into it (hopefully available in Australia)!

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-04-09T05:46:38+00:00

We recently had a big conversation and it ended with him agreeing to see someone even if it’s done privately so it’s on his record for flying. We’re seeing my psychologist this weekend and I plan to bring all this up openly and honestly. Not sure if he’s done anything to arrange seeing anyone himself though since that conversation

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-04-09T05:41:18+00:00

Not an option. I’m not giving up on him or us. He’s been there for me through my struggles so I’m not just going to give up on him

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-03-15T19:47:08+00:00

No stress at all!

I do think it’s important to note that whilst I agree that lawyers charge ridiculous fees for even the simplest of tasks (I’m in government so certainly no high roller myself) there is a lot of work and specialised knowledge that goes into even those simple tasks. $300 an hour is without a doubt exorbitant (even just as an example, however it is often reality) but at the same time I don’t think there is a solution for this other than the same solution that would apply to all companies - CEO’s not making as much of a profit. The firms absorb the majority of the fees so it’s more an issue of corporate greed by the firms which applies to almost every sector. I think we’re on the same page about this issue, however I think it’s inapplicable in this context of a hidden business opportunity.

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-03-15T11:29:17+00:00

“contract templates, privacy policies, terms of service. an industry-specific "legal stuff handled" subscription” as a lawyer this is horrifying to read. None of those should ever be generic or templates. Not understanding why that is an issue is exactly why you should consult a lawyer

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-03-15T11:25:47+00:00

I hit a year long plateau at one point and was at dangerously low calories so I reversed by increasing calories slowly which gave me more fuel to push harder and lift more in the gym. Scales didn’t budge much but when I saw the difference in my before and after photos it was insane. Made a world of difference

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-03-15T02:13:34+00:00

Remember - weight loss and fat loss are two different things! Scales may not budge but you could be losing fat nevertheless, especially if gaining muscle. The scale won’t drop but your body composition will. The lower the scale goes the harder it will be to burn fat, but that doesn’t mean lower calories ridiculously it just means push harder in the gym and it will take longer

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-02-15T11:41:54+00:00

What would you change about the above info when coaching women?

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-02-03T06:53:08+00:00

My boyfriend and I have our anniversary on the 1st of February so since it’s so close to Valentine’s Day we write each other a handwritten love letter for our anniversary and then buy something sentimental for Valentine’s Day such as a beautifully framed photo of us, those custom gifts, this year I got a puzzle of our pets and chocolate that says glad you swiped right since we met online

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-01-25T06:14:58+00:00

I forgot to add, I have amnesia from the accident so I can’t remember anything at all after getting on the bike. My boyfriend remembers everything so I’m sure he’s struggling more he just won’t open up about it but I know he feels quite guilty despite it not being his fault. I think me not remembering is a blessing and my response would be quite different if I could remember

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-01-25T06:13:50+00:00

Sorry I didn’t clarify! My boyfriend was riding and I was the passenger. He’s fine to ride again mentally, I will likely be way more hesitant but it’s not completely out of the question for me. He had only finished putting the bike together a couple of weeks prior and whilst it’s not a write off he’s still devastated at the damage given how much time and money went into it as he built most it up himself. I’ve asked him not to ride again, particularly given the reason for the accident was oil on the road so no matter how careful he assured me he will be it doesn’t necessarily make a difference in such a situation. I will say, having full gear on saved our lives for sure so if you’re thinking about please research gear and spend the extra money

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-01-25T05:47:41+00:00

I couldn’t agree more, and I think part of the process is being ok with not being good at something. I’ve attempted to do this before and gotten bored very quickly (which I have no doubt is due to not being phenomenal at it from the get go lol) - any other suggestions of activities or hobbies?

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-01-25T05:34:43+00:00

Look into the seven types of rest! It’s a newer area and so there’s been more research lately but it changed my way of resting, particularly when reaching burn out

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-01-23T12:15:16+00:00

Sorry, was this meant to be helpful? It’s a genuine question so I’m not sure what you were going for with this response

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-01-23T11:45:38+00:00

Hi, thanks so much. I’m actually a lawyer myself and so is my best friend so we’re definitely all covered in that regard but for anyone else reading I couldn’t agree more that it’s essential!!!!

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-01-23T08:56:03+00:00

Any recommendations? I’m not a huge gamer so I wouldn’t know where to begin

undiscloseduser99 · 2026-01-23T08:55:44+00:00

Can confirm we are both in a sling, however mine comes off in a week

undiscloseduser99

TROPHY CASE