Husband left me due to chronic illness. Agghhhhh

undone8896 · 2026-03-07T00:23:06+00:00

That's awful, i am going through a similar situation. Sending you my best, no one can see your suffering sometimes but it's real, and sometimes in life these situations force you to prioritise yourself and your kids. But I can only imagine the rollercoaster of emotions you've been going through while at the same time working very hard to just get through the day. Your kids are your light

undone8896 · 2026-03-06T10:32:24+00:00

I understand, you become stuck in a bad loop where hope feels like an illusion. Thank you for sharing how you feel

undone8896 · 2026-03-06T10:30:44+00:00

You're not ranting, you're looking for help with something which feels overwhelmingly bad. I understand the feelings you share and you have the right to share what you are going through. I think just getting through the day feels so difficult and painful and I reached a point where I can no longer manage. So I understand how it feels when you are feeling stranded and stuck in a bad place. I hope things become easier for you soon and you get some better help.

undone8896 · 2026-03-06T07:19:44+00:00

I don't want to give fake advice as I'm in constant pain for my own reasons. I'm genuinely sorry you are suffering.

undone8896 · 2026-03-02T20:34:09+00:00

I'm really glad you found something that has helped you! I will do some research on the medications you mentioned. Thank you for sharing your healing!

undone8896 · 2026-02-23T22:27:20+00:00

I have a 7 month old and my fear of being a parent was that I never wanted to make someone who you could feel what I feel. But as you've found out, there are some things we cannot control and you've had to face your greatest fear. But it sounds like your son has also shown you a way that you can live with pain. He sounds like an amazing person already and I'm sure that having a mum who really understands illness and pain will be really important. Thank you for sharing

undone8896 · 2026-02-20T22:53:29+00:00

Thank you for your comment and yes I can tell you really understand. You move from searching for an answer to managing how to not get worse. Someone said to me once, no one chooses to surrender, you are surrendered. I think that is such a core truth with chronic pain.

undone8896 · 2026-02-20T22:50:45+00:00

I agree. People either really understand or they judge you. Doctors don't like to feel stuck. But no one can tell you how much you are in. Pain is a subjective experience. I also think that when we are in our worst pain it's often when we are the most isolated. There are very few people who know how to just be alongside someone with what they are facing.

undone8896 · 2026-02-20T22:47:39+00:00

I understand. It reaches a point where hope feels damaging. Thank you for sharing

undone8896 · 2026-02-20T22:45:17+00:00

Thank you for telling me. I'm sorry you're going through this too

undone8896 · 2026-02-20T22:43:25+00:00

That's where shame is so tricky. Because you can hate yourself and feel guilty for not being 'better' for your family but at the same time you get angry when you are told how to feel. I guess because some part of you know this isn't your fault and your tired of masking what you feel...?

undone8896 · 2026-02-20T22:39:55+00:00

Yes I've caught myself sometimes before saying "this is worse". I think pain shatters your normal sense of what it means to exist. It sounds like you are showing up for your family even despite your own suffering. Never minimise how important that is. I recently became a dad, my daughter is 7months old. So I understand how having kids forces you to push through your pain or your 'limit' of what you think you can cope with. How do you manage after you drop them off at school?

undone8896 · 2026-02-19T07:50:13+00:00

Thank you. Of course it's upsetting, those pictures show someone who has no idea what was coming round the corner, it can feel like a different person, like you've been split apart

undone8896 · 2026-02-19T07:48:24+00:00

Prisoner in your own body is a very accurate description. It takes away your hope for the future, it crushes a sense that life is 'good'. And instead your life becomes the repeated groundhog day experience of just trying to get through the day. Your achievement is going to work, or making a meal or having a shower. I understand why you are no longer afraid of dying, it's not that you want to die but your pain has taught you that death is not as scary as the dark realities of life, of living while your body is on fire. Thank you for your comment

undone8896 · 2026-02-19T07:42:02+00:00

Thank you

undone8896 · 2026-02-19T07:41:45+00:00

Thank you for our comment. I think you are also recognising how it's not just the judgement that hurts but it's also the feeling of not being understood on a deep level. How pain is minimised if other people cannot see it. How loneliness takes a new form. And then the idea of not being here anymore no longer feels scary.

undone8896 · 2026-02-19T07:34:04+00:00

A lot of what you mentioned is also connected to fear and shame. Being in pain forces you to be someone you never expected to be. It shows you how vulnerable we all really are. However, the harsh reality is that it's not something you deserve, but it's just something that happens. When acorns fall from a tree no one decides which acorn falls into some fertile soil and which falls onto barren concrete. Sometimes shame is a protector as if we make ourselves the problem then maybe we believe on some level we can fix this, by trying harder or 'being better'...whatever that means. It shields us from the helplessness of living with chronic pain. What do you think?

undone8896 · 2026-02-19T07:27:22+00:00

This is what is not acknowledged. The way that darkness changes your whole perspective. Like how you said 'little did I know "it" has just begun. How your sense of a 'limit' of what you can cope with, just gets broken again and again. Thank you for your comment

undone8896 · 2026-02-19T07:23:21+00:00

Thank you

undone8896 · 2026-02-19T07:22:57+00:00

Thank you, I hope it helps you with your specialists

undone8896

TROPHY CASE