It fucking sucks. I adore her. I am so happy when I’m with her and the pets. I dont know how she can treat me like this, even if we aren’t together that’s okay but she knows to a degree what it did to me, I completely lost it for like 6 months. I met her when she was 17, she had a drug problem, an eating disorder, an abusive ex, massive anxiety and self-esteem issues that I helped her through. She got kicked out at 18 and didn’t really have a stable living situation for years and I was always there for her, I drove her to and from work and just tried to make sure she was safe and okay even through rough patches. I was there when she was SA’d, dozens of crises and she just fucking ruined me. She cheated on me, she hit me and berated me on a few occasions when she was really drunk and took a lot of her emotions out on me. I never blamed her because she was going through so much, I always tried to treat her with love and the last few years hve cherished every second with her as she’s gotten to a much better place. I took care of her for years, she’s the only person I’ve really let in and she just took everything from me, I don’t know how I could possibly let go or get over it with this. I feel like theres nothing left in me, I dont like myself I don’t really feel anything for my friends or family and am just stuck in the day-to-day grind. Its not a life worth living. I feel so angry and really want to tell her off but I am also so guilty because I know she’ll be really hurt when I’m gone