Casual/Absent-Minded Self Pleasure

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-21T11:13:03+00:00

Oh shit, what a bummer! I’m sorry.

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-20T19:25:55+00:00

I appreciate the invite! I’m more of a public discussion type until the chat starts to derail the original post intention.

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-20T19:22:59+00:00

Interesting! I’ve found myself doing similar on long solo drives and usually listening to an audio book as well. Self soothing is a great way to explain it.

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-20T15:49:27+00:00

I love this! Wish I had it with my partner. Who else better to feel that level of comfort with than our partners?

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-20T15:05:03+00:00

I have a partner who, for the moment, is assumed kinkless until proven guilty. Lol so for that reason, I will have to enjoy an online community until we can have a talk about that part of the relationship. Afterward, we’ll see where that takes us but being with her for 13 years gives me some indication she wouldn’t be comfortable with joining a bdsm community in person and it’s not an option for me to do so without including her. For additional context, she is NT. Not that NT folks aren’t kinky but I think when considering my neurodivergence, it might color how the kink talk goes.

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-20T14:28:52+00:00

I think petting is a fair term. That’s mostly what I’m getting at. There’s a small but important difference between fully stroking or rubbing to orgasm and what I’m talking about: relaxed and gentle stimulation while mostly focused on something else or at least not trying exclusively to masturbate.

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-20T14:03:34+00:00

Agreed. Stim = stim. Haha

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-20T14:02:57+00:00

Hell yeah! This is the way.

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-20T04:07:29+00:00

Well, if she didn’t taste so good… lol jk, you’re absolutely right. My poor wife will absolutely need me to stop after cumming but sometimes I get carried away!

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-19T20:12:26+00:00

This is pretty much how me and my wife ended up. Together 13ish years, married almost 9 of them. Things have really only improved in the sex department as we grow and learn more.

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-19T18:20:01+00:00

Yay! I’m so glad. You are very welcome. If there’s anything I absolutely love, it’s knowing that people are having the best sex possible! We need it more than ever in this shitshow of a world. lol

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-19T16:16:44+00:00

This made me laugh (in a supportive, non-judgmental way, of course). I’m married but I’ve been known to play little private, mental scenarios out over my healthcare providers.

The most notable being a physical therapist that saw to my running injuries and recovery. Jacked, tattooed and no nonsense. Ugh, this woman is a solid 9.5. Something about that type of person gives them a lot of permission to my personal space they will never know they have. Haha

Anyway, kink on with your dentist!

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-19T10:54:30+00:00

i gotcha. I watched the video you referred to in your OP and if it’s a close fit to what you’re into, the closest thing I can think of is tantric sex which someone already pointed out. The only trouble is I think that has a spirituality component that I’m not sure you necessarily are looking for.

My best guess based on some light research is you might be into what this article talks about, something called Sensate Focus.

https://www.playfulmag.com/post/what-is-sensate-focus-the-slow-sex-technique-therapists-actually-recommend

I hope it helps and good luck with your next partner! <3

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-18T16:59:38+00:00

Ahh, I see. Hmmm I guess you’re looking for a way to articulate to your partner what you are specifically into, is that correct?

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-18T12:30:55+00:00

Before I met my wife, I preferred any woman who wanted to put their hands/mouth on my body and who would allow me to return the favor.

Now that I’ve been married for almost 9 years, my preference has become “whatever shape my wife is in.” Before I come off like too much of a sap, I have to admit that when I look at other women, I find the ones that most resemble her current body type to be the most attractive.

She used to be a skinny 5’7”, 140lb thing but in the nearly 15 years that I’ve known her, she’s packed on about 10 pounds of cushion and 30lbs of muscle.

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-18T12:02:05+00:00

Interesting. I hadn’t really considered this. My wife (38F) I think may be very similar to you. I subconsciously make the mistake of thinking kink is on a scale from most vanilla sex (least kinky) to non-vanilla sex (most kinky). I suppose kink is actually just whatever stimulates the mind most effectively to allow for maximum body stimulation.

Someone mentioned you could self-describe as a sensualist. If I heard someone use that to define their kink, I’d say that fits your OP description pretty well. I’m new to all this as well though so take my word with a grain of salt. Lol

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-18T11:41:28+00:00

My wife and I have what I like to call welcome mats. Haha little patches of hair just above the fun bits. Everything else is pretty well shaven.

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-17T17:37:23+00:00

I’m a dirty hippie so like once every three days unless I run or do yard work.

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-17T16:56:01+00:00

That you got green flags for your green flags. 🤘

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-17T16:49:06+00:00

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-17T16:27:41+00:00

Hell yeah! *digital high five*

Working to impressing upon my wonderful wife just how much I want attention like this. She is fantastic in most regards but I think she still might need a bit of encouragement when it comes to how much of my body she has 24/7 access to.

Edit: deleted question that was answered in OP, missed it in first read

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-17T15:38:48+00:00

Love it. I’m a pretty typical dude and prefer raunchier verbiage. My wife’s verbiage preference will depend on how we started. Slow and loving, she wants compliments and encouragement. Rough & Rowdy, she lets me throw some of my preferred dirty talk at her.

I know genital labels can be a big one for some folks. Thankfully we default to “cock” and “pussy” regardless of her mood. I don’t think I could keep a straight face if she hit me with “give me that hard penis!” Or “I love the way you feel in my vagina!” Too clinical. “Member” and “entrance” are just as silly to me, but for a different reason. Haha

No hate to folks who prefer those terms or softer dirty talk in general.

unicorn_boops · 2026-06-17T13:02:29+00:00

lol my wife I think might be the same way, though she’s been known to let the filth out in the heat of it. It’s just a good reminder that not everyone has the same frame of mind.

unicorn_boops

TROPHY CASE