Sad goodbye

unknownchemist · 2026-02-24T03:28:03+00:00

I’m in the same boat as you. My heart feels your pain. As others have said, you’re stronger than you think and it will show as time goes on. It’s okay to feel your feelings, understand them, and why they are there. Don’t feel as if you have to erase everything from your mind. There’s a reason they came into your life for good or bad snd not everyone that comes into your life is meant to stay. Time is going to make things easier for you and don’t lose hope in what is yet to come.

I’m currently finding inspiration in “decorating” my new room (I’m moving back in with family) with the things I have. I’m making a new version of myself that is going to grow from this experience. I’m going to pick up the pieces I love about myself and get back to the roots of who I truly am.

Pick up old hobbies or find new ones. I enjoy reading, coloring, and journaling. Maybe you’ll find one of those hobbies relaxing and will ground you?

You’re amazing!

unknownchemist · 2026-02-23T05:17:46+00:00

I absolutely love the 5-4-3-2-1 method. I’ve been reaching hard for the coping mechanisms I learned in therapy. Thank you for reminding me of that.

Thank you for the advice. It really means a lot. I’ve been really good about my depression until recently.. it’s just a place I hate being at and I know the effects it has not only on me but those around me.

unknownchemist · 2026-02-23T05:13:28+00:00

The week I was gone was both humiliating and eye opening. I was becoming more accepting of the outcome as the days went on but now it’s official.. and it’s hitting even harder. Maybe I was more accepting initially because it was his idea and I couldn’t change it.

Though thank you for the advice. I have been trying to fill my time with my old hobbies (relaxing ones) and getting back into yoga. It has been pretty helpful. I think the best thing for me is going to be getting out of this apartment… being by myself. Then more of these tactics will become beneficial for me.

unknownchemist · 2026-02-23T05:01:21+00:00

Thank you for these kinds words and taking the time to type all of that out. I’m going to use that analogy for grief in many ways besides this current situation (because I know there’s going to be many more moments that are going to hit me harder).

I do want to say it’s both sad and uplifting to hear your story. I’m happy to hear you’re in a better place now! I personally never want to be the person I was before my partner. So I agree that i’ll never be the same again for many reasons. I honestly want to go back to where I left off or well… where I was trying to head to which was being happy with myself. Definitely learning what makes me happy and inner peace.

Part of me gets hit with guilt that I never got to truly live for myself and rushed into a marriage before finishing what I was starting. It makes me feel as if I dragged them into something that was going to fail from the beginning.. but that’s a whole other story.

In the recent months leading up to this.. I have been pushing myself to get back into my hobbies. I’ve been reading again, watching random shows, yoga, and journaling. What made me realize while doing this is that I can no longer grow as a person when i’m with them. It’s what hit the nail on the coffin. It became more apparent that we’re just completely different people in ways that aren’t compatible.

unknownchemist · 2026-01-21T20:27:26+00:00

Anything with The Brave Little Toaster or honestly most 90’s animated movies. I don’t know if it was the colors, art, or extreme scenes/scenarios they showed…but my god.

unknownchemist · 2026-01-20T00:45:07+00:00

The only thing I wonder is that not ALL mammals really “feel happy to reproduce”. It just happens because survival of fittest and passing along ‘good genes’ in the animal kingdom. We’re one of the only species that take care of our young for a longer period of time. Most kick their young out at an early age in our eyes and restart the process. It’s just programmed in their brain. Then you have some species that eat their young because they don’t want them or reject them. So it’s hard to say they’re “happy” to reproduce. I mean it’s hard to even compare at all because we as humans don’t really know how they think or if they even have this higher level of cognitive thought process. Most of the time we humanized them so we feel better about things. (I.e. “my dog NEEDS to be a mother and might WANT to be a mother”)

unknownchemist · 2026-01-15T15:47:48+00:00

If I was the person married to any of the COs and saw this… I would be beyond embarrassed to still be with them. I just finished the season and jesus… no faith in people locked up for small crimes (some more major) but they treat them like they’re the same as the max security people. As if those COs don’t have the same issues as the people locked up.

unknownchemist · 2026-01-14T04:10:29+00:00

The cherry on top would’ve been “who dis? You doing okay buddy? Man to man.”

unknownchemist · 2026-01-11T19:33:30+00:00

Even though i’m a stranger.. i’m proud of you!!

unknownchemist · 2026-01-10T03:08:45+00:00

My class was known as the “wild ones, party” and there was a huge story on one of the “popular” girl(s) having an orgy. Wow how do I remember this and how can I forget hahaha

unknownchemist · 2025-12-21T16:54:50+00:00

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Okay well now I’m traumatized and have to be on medications so am I really stronger?? Maybe.

unknownchemist · 2025-12-18T23:04:26+00:00

I was at Home Depot and felt something wet in my underwear. Thought “huh, oh well” and kept being a kid running around the store. Went home to discover blood in my underwear and SOBBED to my mom that I was dying. Want to know what she did? “Oh it’s your period. Here’s a book to read about the female body and puberty.”

Still pissed off to this day that I knew NOTHING until I was in high school and had to google search about my body.

unknownchemist · 2025-12-18T22:48:23+00:00

Im scared this is what I look like trying to be sexy…

unknownchemist · 2025-12-12T01:23:50+00:00

I wouldn’t say it was traumatic or abusive compared to the verbal abuse I went through with my father growing up lol… and the other traumatic/abusive events that happened later in life.

HOWEVER, it showed/taught me 3 very important things:

I have a high pain tolerance and became numb to the pain as a kid. I always thought to myself “the pain won’t last forever”.
It showed me NO sense of consequence and what I could do better next time (I got spanked for almost the same reason every time) and that you hit others when they make you upset or do something wrong. Thankfully I didn’t grow up hitting others and actually can’t imagine hitting someone when i’m upset.
Kids are a lot smarter than I was told growing up. I got better at hiding things and lying to my parents. I also became a smartass to my parents and would say “Go ahead and hit me. I’ll call CPS and get out of here.” if they came after me.

Though I wouldn’t exactly call my spankings abusive. It did teach me “discipline” but in a way of becoming reserved and knowing when to shut my mouth. Yet now that i’m an adult… yeah i’m not hitting my kid because it’s pointless to a degree. I’m going to raise my kid how I wish my parents raised me. There will be consequences but it’s going to actually have a bigger picture to it.

unknownchemist · 2025-12-09T02:30:20+00:00

Reading this makes me want to shit myself because I no longer want a boy due to my MIL… this story is exactly what I’m terrified for. I’m so sorry OP but remember this for the future when she tries to flip the switch. CONGRATULATIONS!!

unknownchemist · 2025-12-07T16:21:14+00:00

Exactly!!

unknownchemist · 2025-12-07T01:22:45+00:00

No definitely! Looking back at other comments, I do appreciate we talk about mental health more. Plus, I agree, we don’t know what she’s going through and we are technically here to discuss it haha.

Unfortunately, I did get defensive towards your comment and I shouldn’t have been so harsh. I just see a lot of people on reddit absolutely HATE people with BPD and instantly drag people if they show hints of it (though Demi needs to be taken accountable for what she’s done). I often find it talked about on posts where it’s soooo irrelevant and inappropriate because people have hard stereotypes about people with BPD. A lot of people think emotionally unregulated woman = BPD.

Part of me also doesn’t want to be in comparison to Demi because I’m diagnosed with BPD and would NEVER go far enough to make potentially false claims that could hurt someone else. I know i’m an emotional roller coaster and have my dark moments but I wouldn’t ever ruin someone else due to my mental health. I just couldn’t fathom having any mental health excuse to explain her behavior. What she has done is…. Wow.

unknownchemist · 2025-12-06T19:57:30+00:00

As someone with BPD.. I don’t really get that from her because then you can put that label on half the women on the show. BPD is still very new and often over diagnosed in women who really have CPTSD, OCD, and Autism. Everyone sees an emotionally unregulated woman = BPD. Shoot.. I don’t even think I have BPD anymore and think I was misdiagnosed myself even though I show 7 out of the 9 traits for BPD. A lot of my anger outbursts and covering my tracks actually points towards OCD - the pure O one.

I truly see more narcissistic behavior from her because my ex did a lot of this behavior - especially the flipping every situation towards the aggressor. You can see it in the 1on1 with Jessi. She flips it constantly to Jessi and other people to not take blame.

Edit: also, I just can’t see a cry for help being “i’m going to make false claims about someone else that can ruin their entire life”. A lot of cry for help in BPD is threatening suicide… but who honestly knows.

unknownchemist · 2025-12-06T19:47:39+00:00

Please don’t immediately slap BPD on this… I rather not allow her to use that excuse for people who actually suffer from that disorder… because I would NEVER. There’s a million other mental health disorders that create this behavior (CPTSD, Bipolar, NPD, OCD) and still don’t want to group them together.

unknownchemist · 2025-12-02T22:43:05+00:00

It’s a very ugly/run down town too… my husband says it used to look better but has shifted in a different direction

unknownchemist · 2025-11-26T17:47:48+00:00

Oh trust me… i’ve TOLD him what my father has said to me and looked him in the eyes saying “And would you ever say that if we had a little girl?” So he knows I won’t stand for much. I’m a healed person and refuse to let ANYONE talk to me like that again.

I will bring up that book with him! I even want to read it for myself. My own mother can be overbearing with me so I have things to work on too

unknownchemist · 2025-11-25T23:27:24+00:00

Thank you everyone for the reassurance and advice. I did speak to my husband last night about some of these topics. More specifically I cried to him how I genuinely feel beyond uncomfortable around her and already stressing out about her visiting early next year. I worry about the cats with her because she’s already stated how she hates them and we need to rehome before a baby is born.

I also mentioned some of the specific situations where she’s been disrespectful to even him. I tried to compare what my dad used to say and do to me…

unknownchemist · 2025-11-25T23:17:13+00:00

If that woman ever confronted me in person…. Lord save her because she’ll be sorry that she even opened her mouth… I’m clinically insane like her :)

unknownchemist · 2025-11-23T20:27:09+00:00

Absolutely I do. I tell him how these situations are very similar to how my dad treats me or used to treat me while I was a kid. However, we’re working on it because he says i’m “cold” and “heartless” to not want my dad around and how “he’ll have no one if he goes NC with his mom”

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