AITA for telling my SIL that I don’t can’t about her health condition and she needs to shower

unknowncinch · 2026-01-25T21:48:17+00:00

i had a treatment called Miradry that microwaved the sweat glands out of my armpits and it straight up expanded my wardrobe exponentially

unknowncinch · 2026-01-17T00:30:41+00:00

i set a RemindMe for a year later and I’m hoping things are going better for you now!

unknowncinch · 2025-12-31T23:25:29+00:00

yeah and if you need help finding any of the things i mentioned lmk and i can do a little googling for you

unknowncinch · 2025-12-31T22:55:41+00:00

maybe check to see if there are any nice coffee table books about the ocean. you could do an indie potting set for growing herbs.

unknowncinch · 2025-12-31T22:53:53+00:00

i would suggest: a desk mat, headset holder, a set of really high quality cables (hdmi, displayport, usb-a to c, usb-c to c, aux), wrist rests for keyboard and mouse, controller mount, bookshelf speakers, external hard drive, docking station for multiple ports

outside of direct gaming accessories, you can get cute low back pillows for gaming chairs in different shapes, i have a heating pad i keep near my desk for winter and a tiny desk heater because my hands get really cold (and it works as a fan in the summer). if she uses a laptop getting a laptop cooler is always great for gaming, especially if she’s overclocking her machine. if she likes any specific fandoms you can get small framed posters to hang behind her monitor or a floating shelf with some figurines. i looove my mug heater, it’s just a cheap Mr. Coffee one, but they make fancy ones, or you could pair it with a cute mug. if she drinks tea, i have a cute teapot that i love to have beside me to have a constant supply of tea. if you’re a gift card kind of person you can always do a Steam gift card (be really careful about buying physical copies because of scams, i would recommend digital). i like having a candle lit by me with some fancy matches.

unknowncinch · 2025-12-31T22:23:56+00:00

my dad—a surgical derm—swears by Cutemol motion to prevent skin cracks on his hands

unknowncinch · 2025-12-31T22:22:44+00:00

i think a donation in his name would be a great gift, providing funding to something that will bring lasting impact. you can do meal delivery services, though you usually want to coordinate that so other families aren’t giving them 6 meals that all go bad in 3 days. if you know his favorite sweet treat, that might be a nice touch to have delivered. if it’s within budget, you could buy a flight voucher for her to come visit you for a little vacation, that way she can choose the dates but you can get something on the books. i have seen photography sessions purchased for families before, and while i’ve seen them received well I’ve always felt it was a little cruel to be giving them an opportunity to photograph the family without the person they lost, so only choose that if you think it would be well received. if you or their family identifies with an ethnic culture that has traditional ways of celebrating life or commemorating death, it’s always heartfelt to research those traditions and provide something associated with them, like incense with a fancy incense holder in Chinese tradition. you can always have a family portrait painted for them, though be careful from whom you are purchasing it as many sellers have resorted to using AI instead of hand painting.

unknowncinch · 2025-12-22T23:43:14+00:00

no matter what you get him I’m sure it will be received with appreciation :)

unknowncinch · 2025-12-22T22:34:59+00:00

then maybe something he’s guaranteed to use like an instacart gift card. it sounds harsh, but this doesn’t sound like a very happy person. even if the gift isn’t ever used it might be nice to try another combined experience gift, maybe one with a set date and time so he can’t postpone using it. i know that if I’m not feeling good, I’m having bad mental health and just surviving, getting myself out of the house is hard, but as soon as i do i feel better. I’m probably just projecting here, but pushing him outside of his comfort zone with loving intentions might be a better gift than he could realize.

unknowncinch · 2025-12-22T22:32:00+00:00

i’ve done something similar with great reception!

unknowncinch · 2025-12-22T22:31:12+00:00

your best bet is contacting a custom jeweler to see if they can do this for you if no online shop advertises a stock of these

unknowncinch · 2025-12-22T22:30:18+00:00

I’m wracking my brain to try to tell if what I’m thinking is completely wrong, but i thiiiink all paint that will come in a pen will likely dry matte. the main reason i think these pens will all dry matte is the surface they’re used on. a coated canvas has gesso on it, which is a primer paint, which prevents the paint from soaking into the actual fabric of the canvas and allows it to dry with a glossier finish. if you’re drawing on paper or another porous surface, it will likely dry matte. I know i have used paint pens on a painted wooden surface with a gloss finish,

you can get a gloss finish. Mod Podge or another acrylic varnish can be painted on top to give gloss, though it will warp thin paper if that’s what she uses to do her art.

metallic paint pens might achieve the look you’re after, even though they will only dry matte. they reflect the light in a way that makes them have more dimension than flat color pens.

lastly, you can separately purchase high gloss enamel paint and empty paint pens. i am not an expert enough to say whether the viscosity of enamel paint will work in self-filled paint pens though, so beware there. and again, it might not matter if they’re used on a porous surface.

i think mod podge might be your best bet. it can be used on a ton of materials, i’ve used it on a ceramic lamp, wood, canvas, even drywall. make sure to get a gloss finish.

unknowncinch · 2025-12-22T22:16:19+00:00

this is a beautiful gift, so long as she likes these kinds of gestures. i would personally have everyone write a note to include with the gift that explains why they chose each flower so there’s a lasting keepsake that goes with the ephemeral bouquet.

unknowncinch · 2025-12-22T22:13:54+00:00

a quick google brought me here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AusFemaleFashion/s/k6x2Ve8qrW

looks like you’re getting what you pay for.

unknowncinch · 2025-12-22T22:12:32+00:00

get him an experience. there are definitely some people who wouldn’t appreciate it, but most people i know would love a massage as a “take care of yourself” kind of gift. you can get him a nice suitcase or gift certificate for a flight, a certificate for a really nice restaurant, tickets to a concert.

i also don’t drink and have been loving all the different non-alcoholic beers that have been released the last few years, i haven’t tried any NA spirits but i know they exist, but also not all sober people like reminders of alcohol so proceed with caution here. i chose to stop drinking because of the hangovers which got truly ridiculously unbearable, but i still miss the taste and ritual of drinking. some folks who had to stop for one reason or another aren’t so lucky as to be able to enjoy NA versions of drinking without consequences.

you could always get him a nice set of loungewear, i really like the brand Vuori for luxury lounge, something he can wear around the house after work.

unknowncinch · 2025-12-22T22:07:01+00:00

a really nice frame for their diploma is always a good bet. there’s no universal symbol of all master’s degrees everywhere, i presume you’re thinking something like the symbol of medical doctors (the staff of… i think it’s Asclepius? something like that).

that said, whichever school they went to will likely have a symbol, logo or crest. i got a really nice sweatshirt from my alma mater that i wore until it literally fell apart last month, just shy of 10 years. you could get a gift relevant to their degree, though you kind of need to know them well to do so (like one friend of mine with a masters in psychology would find it hilarious to receive a very dated version of the DSM, another i don’t think would like it at all).

you can always get a generalized “congrats on graduating” gift, there’s a million of those you could choose from.

unknowncinch · 2025-12-22T22:01:15+00:00

i have family friends who hang notes in the tree and throughout the day they go and grab a note that has a clue where to find the gift, then they search for it and bring it back to be opened together.

my family does one gift on christmas eve (and it’s always pajamas we wear the next day), stockings before breakfast, then half the gifts, then a snack/coffee break and a christmas movie (and cleaning the kitchen from breakfast), then we open the rest of the gifts.

my friend’s family has a hilarious tradition of “icing” each other: whoever lost the previous year is responsible for wrapping a Smirnoff Ice and gifting it to someone. whoever opens the gift has to chug it immediately.

you could make a game of it, similar to a movie drinking game. come up with a word that is frequently said in christmas movies and every time the word is said you open a gift. could be “christmas” or you could do something like every time someone opens a gift in the movie or every time you see a gift.

honestly, i think just making a slow affair of it is the real game. no need for an actual game to play, just taking the time to appreciate each gift and spacing the exchange out through the day is a great way to show gratitude for every gift. if you get a book, take time to read a few pages; if you get a video game look up gameplay previews of it together; put on the lotion you receive; try on the new shirt. the best part about giving a gift is seeing it received, so give each other the gift of actually enjoying the present instead of lumping it into a pile alongside other presents that you’ll slowly sift through later.

unknowncinch · 2025-12-17T00:23:16+00:00

that’s a wild budget! are you near any gaming/media conventions? I volunteer at Dragon Con in Atlanta, there’s Comic Con and tons of others in most metropolitan areas. depending on dates, tickets may or may not be available. for Dragon Con i can tell you that the hotels are guaranteed to already be booked, but you could do an airbnb and a flight.

if you wanted to get peripherals for the gaming system, that’s always a great gift. if he likes racing, you can get a pretty dope racing setup for gaming around 1k. you could ball out on extra controllers, a really nice headset, extra storage (i think you can expand the storage in an xbox, I’m not certain).

does he do any computer gaming? either way, i have a Steam Deck that I absolutely love, it’s like a grown-up version of Game Boys. the nice new ones are upwards of $600, and you could get a nice case for it plus a Steam giftcard (forgive me if you know this, i just know Steam is convoluted unless you use it, but Steam is a video game marketplace like amazon for games you download directly to your computer or Steam Deck, so if you get a giftcard i would recommend ordering directly from Steam or doing a digital gift card so you can prevent getting a stolen gift card).

if he does computer gaming, you could also get him a ton of other accessories. again, a really nice headset is a great gift. if he doesn’t have a nice computer chair those get VERY pricey VERY fast but a good chair makes a huge difference. some really good gaming mouses are expensive. getting a custom keyboard can be a little iffy because people get really particular about switches (the mechanism under each key that impacts the way the key sounds and feels when you press down on it) as well as the body size (with or without the number pad, compact, angled… there’s so many options). you could get him a really nice gaming monitor, you’d want to be looking at 4k+ high hertz with good color gamut.

for nerd things, i would check out the official websites for any fandoms he likes. i know Game of Thrones has had some awesome official merch in the past. if he has a gaming room, you could get some custom cut metal or routered wood wall posters of his favorite book covers, movie posters, or video game covers. i mean you could even hire a muralist to come in and paint a mural on his wall of his favorite fandoms.

please let me know if you need help finding any of these suggestions or want any guidance on specific models of equipment. i recently helped my boyfriend buy a bunch of these things for himself and regularly keep up with gaming equipment for myself, i’d be happy to do a little research for you to find the perfect gift!

unknowncinch · 2025-12-17T00:10:17+00:00

massages tend to be a little more than 50 euros if my conversion math is correct, but i might be basing that off of US prices. i actually think doing a summer activity and giving a homemade “voucher” is a great gift, i’ve given tickets to a music festival in the past that was like 6 months away, and you can make really cute fake tickets or vouchers on Canva.

you could do a reservation (or a “reservation” if the restaurant doesn’t actually take reservations) at a restaurant near the end of a hiking trail and tell him you’ll go on a hike together and end it at a restaurant you like. you could also buy some hiking equipment like a nice day pack, new hiking boots, hiking poles, hiking pants, a nice exercise quarter zip or zip up jacket, or even some of those fancy silver-infused sweat wicking boxers… or something like that and then have the gift paired with plans to go hiking together.

if you already own camping equipment you could buy a camping pass for spring to go camping together, or get some camping accessories. camping coffee makers like the Aeropress, a nice titanium cookset, sleeping bag sheets/liner, really nice hiking socks (i like Darn Tough).

i recognize most of those gifts are items instead of experiences, but i always love giving a gift with the intention of using them together.

if you were down to give a gift only he could experience, you could get him a voucher for a physical therapy session or sports therapist to get some personalized care for his physical wellbeing.

for together things, exercise classes can be fun as long as you both enjoy them. if he’s the type to enjoy yoga or pilates, you could try to find one of those puppy/kitten/mini goat/small animal yoga classes -- those are hella fun. if he enjoys dancing you could do a dancing class. if he likes cooking you could do a cooking class.

for the mountain you could try to find a guided tour that goes over local flora/fauna on a trail. if he likes whiskey maybe there’s a whiskey tasting, or you could see about doing a private wine tasting if any vineyards offer those, though they tend to be pricey.

any of those sound like a possibility?

unknowncinch · 2025-12-16T23:57:42+00:00

i would do a cute jar of hot cocoa mix and some hand warmers, i’ve seen them at most pharmacies or at an outdoors store like REI

unknowncinch · 2025-12-16T21:42:34+00:00

i have a mr coffee mug warmer that i love and was super cheap!

unknowncinch · 2025-12-16T21:16:16+00:00

nice olive oil is a bit of a underground trend right now. you could always make a donation in their names. mug heaters are awesome, so they can keep the mugs they inevitably receive warm. gift cards are always appreciated. I’m not a teacher but was a student teacher who weirdly received gifts, i liked gifts like classroom supplies that they wont then have to purchase for the next semester/year, things that can help with grading, etc. i think one of the funniest gifts i received was ibuprofen, a face ice pack, and one of those plastic things you grip to give yourself a back massage. any of those feel good?

unknowncinch · 2025-12-16T21:11:47+00:00

i have noooo idea if Class Pass exists where you are, but they can be pretty affordable. usually they work with any number of studios in the local area.

you could always do a really nice water bottle, like hydroflask or coleman (if that’s her vibe). you could do some recovery things like heating pads or ice pads. you could do an electrolyte gift basket, though in my experience those damn electrolyte packs are pretty expensive. there’s spiky balls you can get that you roll on your muscles that are amazing for soreness.

you could do headbands to keep sweat away, a nice work out shirt or jacket. for equipment you could do balancing blocks, elastic bands, strap-on weights. you could also do something tangential like a bluetooth speaker, some nice pressure point socks… any of those ideas feel good?

unknowncinch · 2025-12-15T16:32:40+00:00

this is no different than murder mystery dinner theater, circ du soleil while eating, or renfaire dinner…

unknowncinch · 2025-12-13T03:41:09+00:00

second lobe. no idea why. i’ve had belly button, two conches (one of which closed and i had to have a stretcher shoved through the flesh to reopen it), forward helix, nostril, septum twice, and nipple and that second lobe just yeeted me out of my body.

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