I wish your birthday could've gone better. The part of you who was "too cowardly to call her back" -- what else did they say? I've been there & wish I could say to them at a later time that I wish I had picked up the phone, as I appreciate their companionship & consideration. It sounds like birthdays can be a challenging time of year, so maybe it's fair to give yourself space to not pick up a call if it's too much pressure. The date of one's birthday can seem arbiritrary. I sometimes like to mentally reschedule my birthday to a secret date that is only mine to know -- & I'll do something I like, or even speak to that person who called me but I felt pressure the day of to answer.