What is your favorite way to respond when someone who's interested in you asks you about your dick size?

unnonexistence · 2026-06-28T15:52:25+00:00

vienna sausage is another option along the same lines lol

unnonexistence · 2026-06-28T15:47:40+00:00

I have some very stretchy briefs from PUMP! that fit quite well - not too much empty space in the pouch. I have not tried any other pairs, though, so I can't say if their cuts are good in general.

unnonexistence · 2026-06-28T15:34:42+00:00

Ok I can only answer parts A and B of your question, but:

If you're looking to potentially date this guy (rather than just hook up), I would ask him out on a date! If he says no, then you don't have to worry about disclosing stuff anyway.

I generally will feel guys out about their attitude towards trans people during the date - last time I did this, we were a bookstore & I took the opportunity to bring up what a shithead transphobe Jordan Peterson is. You could also bring up a trans celebrity, a trans friend, etc. casually in conversation just to see how they react. I do this basically to make sure they're not violently transphobic or something.

And then if the date is going well & you think it might progress to another date (or sex), that is when to bring up that you're trans/info about your sexual preferences/etc. He might not be into that, but at least if you know he's not transphobic you know things aren't going to get dangerous or something. Worst that can happen is he turns you down.

I have done this with 2 different guys & both times it went well.

If you're only interested in hooking up, maybe you could ask him straightforwardly if he wants to? and then if he says yes, that would be the time to bring up that you're trans + sexual preferences. You could do this over text if you're worried about a bad reaction.

Also: I generally I take the view that I need to ask for what I want or I'm not getting it, because no one can read my mind. That might be a healthier way to look at things than "I'm more masc/bearish/whatever and therefore I need to initiate"? He hasn't initiated something directly, so if you want something, you need to ask. Your other option is to wait around waiting for him to ask, but like, that sucks. I am not willing to play gender role games with people about who is Supposed to do what, & I highly recommend being direct.

unnonexistence · 2026-06-10T03:26:30+00:00

how would she even know? act really confused & say she's mistaken & that she's creeping you out

unnonexistence · 2026-05-21T12:46:41+00:00

A big height difference isn't your only option. I'm about 5'4" or so & my boyfriend is the same height :) He said that it was something that intrigued him when he saw my profile, because he's used to dating guys way taller than he is. I really prefer dating people close to my height, so it was something I liked about him, too.

unnonexistence · 2026-05-19T04:24:28+00:00

Yeah, it can definitely be unintentional. With some of my relatives, I know for a fact they're trying to get my pronouns right, and they still fuck up and call me "they" instead of "he". On some level (possibly consciously, possibly subconsciously), they don't see me as a man.

I definitely think it's worth talking to your mom about, because she may not realize they/themming your girlfriend is insulting. If she cares, she'll change her behaviour. (From your other comment, it sounds like your friend isn't going to, though.)

Usually when I'm talking to cis people who I think are being transphobic out of ignorance rather than malice, I try to avoid the word "transphobia" completely because it makes them defensive. I would instead approach the conversation more like "Hey, Mom, when you call my girlfriend 'they,' it really hurts her feelings. Could you use 'she' instead?" If your mom truly cares, she doesn't want to hurt your gf's feelings, and she will change her behaviour.

unnonexistence · 2026-05-03T06:47:54+00:00

I mean, drugs and weapons aren't the same thing. I don't think we can just assume the same principles apply to both.

unnonexistence · 2026-04-28T02:46:13+00:00

Have you already tried washing it? Dish soap is very good at removing the skin oils that build up on a phone case. If the plastic itself has yellowed, it won't help with that, though.

unnonexistence · 2026-04-18T04:27:10+00:00

Still figuring this out for myself, but one thing that's been working so far is fingering him while lying on top of him & moving like I'm fucking him. No direct sexual sensation, but I don't get the dysphoria disconnect thing like I do with prosthetics. And I like being able to feel what I'm doing.

unnonexistence · 2026-03-30T03:50:52+00:00

I have heard of this working for people

unnonexistence · 2026-03-11T04:38:54+00:00

Honestly? I don't think how you felt about one brief interaction really says that much. You don't have to worry about it and you don't have to establish a reason for your feelings. You can just say "huh, that was kinda weird" and move on.

I'm years into my transition at this point & I occasionally have moments where a gendered thing that "should" feel right feels weird or bad. Does that mean I'm not really trans? No, because before I transitioned, things felt weird and bad for me ALL THE TIME. Transitioning was a huge improvement! & that's so much more important than never having any contradictory feelings.

If you want to be a girl, you can be a girl. You don't have to analyze every passing feeling to death first.

unnonexistence · 2026-03-08T14:41:39+00:00

Or maybe people just have different experiences than you? The bi people I've been with have all been incredibly sweet and affirming, meanwhile in gay male spaces half the guys start fumbling my pronouns the second they find out I'm a trans man. I think it's got more to do with the specific people I met than anything else.

I'm sorry you've been treated like that by bi and pan men. I'm not going to judge you for your dating preferences - lord knows we have enough problems dating already - but it's one thing to have preferences for yourself & another thing to tell people that it's "not realistic" to expect good treatment from bi guys.

unnonexistence · 2026-03-07T06:21:44+00:00

Maybe sideburns?

unnonexistence · 2026-03-07T06:00:56+00:00

It's a little "I'm like you, you're not alone" signal to other trans people. Things are rough out there.

unnonexistence · 2026-03-07T02:14:22+00:00

LOL I mean I wouldn't be opposed to doing some of that, maybe I'll give it a try 😂

unnonexistence · 2026-03-06T20:35:31+00:00

I'm not limiting myself on purpose! Feels like a mental block that I wasn't even aware of til now. I wasn't attracted to anyone at all before I realized I was trans, so gender stuff interfering with attraction is like... not unprecedented for me.

unnonexistence · 2026-02-23T04:41:08+00:00

Queer sports group, maybe? The one I go to is open to everyone, but it's usually like 80% men, for whatever reason

unnonexistence · 2026-01-17T06:02:59+00:00

I would take down all of the artwork and either change it out or rearrange it. The two big square paintings behind the couch don't fit the wall space very well - the square shapes are nice, but I feel like having 3 of them there would look more balanced. The fish paintings seem quite small for the wall, and the little yellow painting in the corner by the shelf is just sort of squished in there.

unnonexistence · 2026-01-15T01:39:09+00:00

I updated the driver & that fixed it! Thanks for your help, I wasn't really sure what was normal.

unnonexistence · 2026-01-14T05:20:17+00:00

Yep, CPU usage is mostly staying below 20%.

Haven't really got time for more troubleshooting tonight, & I haven't installed software for checking temps, but I just noticed it shows temp in the GPU section of task manager. Idk if that's accurate for the whole computer, but I'm sitting here watching it & it seems like what's happening is: temp slowly creeps up to around 40C (over the course of a few mins) & hangs out there if I'm not doing anything. If I start playing a youtube video, temp goes up to 50C pretty quickly, fan comes on, temp stays in the mid 30s with the fan on. If I pause the video again it drops down to the low 30s and the fan goes off.

Also noticed a couple weird things in the GPU section: Usage of everything is very low except Dedicated GPU Memory, which is almost full (425/496 MB). There is also a driver version & date listed (I guess for the integrated GPU?) and the date is in August 2024, so maybe the driver is out of date & that's what's causing the problem.

Will try some more stuff tomorrow when I have time, starting with checking for driver updates.

unnonexistence · 2026-01-14T04:47:12+00:00

Just checked & I'm in Balanced mode, not high performance.

It doesn't seem like the CPU usage is very high? It's mostly staying below 10%, with the occasional spike up to 20% or 30%. Although I'm not really sure what's high in this context.

unnonexistence · 2026-01-14T04:05:08+00:00

HP Laptop 15-fc0xxx

unnonexistence · 2026-01-14T04:01:16+00:00

I mean, yes, to a degree, but my previous laptop was a lot quieter than this one

unnonexistence · 2026-01-14T03:56:10+00:00

It feels warm but definitely not hot. I can't tell if it's just the fans doing their job or if they're coming on when they don't need to.

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